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Publisher's Summary

This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman. 

Beyond being a memoir, Autism in Heels is a love letter to all women. It’s a conversation starter, a game-changer, and a firsthand account of what it is to walk in Jennifer's shoes (especially those iconic red stilettos). 

Whether it's bad perms or body image, sexuality or self-esteem, Jennifer's journey is as much a human journey as one on the spectrum. Because autism looks a bit different in pink, most girls and women who fit the profile are not identified, facing years of avoidable anxiety, eating disorders, volatile relationships, self-harm, and stunted independence. Jennifer has been there, too. Autism in Heels takes that message mainstream. 

From her own struggles and self-discovery, she has built an empire of empowerment, inspiring women the world over to realize they aren't mistakes. They are misunderstood miracles.

©2018 Jennifer Cook O'Toole (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC

What listeners say about Autism in Heels

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Beautifully written

Absolutely heartbreaking and beautiful. I can't seem to stop crying. I feel heard, and seen. a must read for anyone with ASD or for those who know someone with it.

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amazingly put. she puts into words what I can't.

as a 30 year old female who just got my own ASD diagnosis after my five children got theirs, this book and Jennifer's story has both brought me to tears and just made me feel so NOT alone. so many of our stories are similar and I'm still in awe. although I wish there were more anwsers on how to help with many of the problems and traumas discussed, I know that's not the purpose of her book. it's still nice to not feel, as she put it "like a failure at being human." I am asking all my loved ones to now read/listen to it to help them further understand me, and she was able to word things in ways I could never. as a fellow red haired, mother getting her diagnoses in her adult years after years of wondering what is wrong with me... Jennifer you truly have touched me. xoxo

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This memoir was everything I needed

If you are on the spectrum this book has many great tips and tools to navigate the social realities and help with understanding who you are.

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LOVE THIS WOMAN 💓

An amazing, eye opening, treasure of a book from start to finish. I wish I had found this book sooner.

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beautiful book

it was a wonderfull book to read. Giving valuable insight to anyone who has, think they have or are around someone with autism, or for anyone who enjoys beautifully rendered life stories full of hope.

1 person found this helpful

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  • kayla
  • 2020-10-09

A must read for women with late diagnosis

Jennifer’s book illuminated so many blind spots for me in my life as an undiagnosed autistic female. I cried, laughed and listened along with my husband so I could share my own experience and get his perspective on parts I didn’t understand. We both learned so much.

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  • felix
  • 2020-08-12

down my own personal memory lane, with tears

Dear Jennifer, thank you for writing this for us. Thank you for helping me understand my daughter, my sister, my mother, and myself. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. thank you for writing the books you wanted to read. may we all learn from your courage. <3

7 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2020-08-30

amazing

I was completely able to identify with this author and her experiences. i already know i am autistic and this book helped me with conformation. i just hope that i will able to successfully gain my diagnosis so i can have better support in navigating this NT world.

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  • grey6
  • 2020-06-12

Bravo!

This is an excellent read by an important advocate for women on the spectrum. Jennifer's informative and personal style of writing is matched in value by her masterful narration of her journey. I have both the kindle version and audible narration of this important work. Although it was great to reference the text in terms of emerging understanding of neurodiversity, I found myself most enjoying listening to Jennifer add nuance and color to her language. It's as much a work of art as it is a step forward in qualitative research for females with ASD. This rare and wonderful balance gifts the reader/listerner with a sense of deep understanding, while feeling deeply understood,

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  • tpritch
  • 2021-10-07

Ruined by the narration

Jennifer O'Toole has an interesting story to tell -- her own. Her experience with autism is comprehensive and well documented. Unfortunately, this book is not so much about autism as it is about HER. The author loves talking about herself. Her melodramatic narration reminds me of the loud person at a party who thinks they're hilarious. Too much ego for me. Although she does provide a unique female perspective, those looking for a sensitive discussion about autism are advised to look elsewhere.

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  • Barbara N
  • 2021-05-15

RUINED BY NARRATION

I am still going to try the written version because I think there is a valuable story. The author would have been well advised to choose a professional narrator.

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  • NANI
  • 2020-08-08

captivating

loved it. my story was being told by another me. 💘 never thought I would find another experience like mine. very well read. paints a picture anyone can see. thank you!

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  • Marvin Martin
  • 2021-10-23

Great lows and great highs

We live in a society where the successful and the well-to-do are listened to and heard. For that reason, J. O’Toole is an effective advocate for A spectrum people. I am very sympathetic to people on the spectrum. I am less sympathetic to those who appear to have incredible ‘coping’ skills because their ‘experiences’ ultimately seem little more ‘confounding’ than those of ‘neuro typicals’. Any teacher will tell you that individual children/adults tackle problems differently. If a person successfully tackles a problem, it does not usually matter HOW they do it. The author has undeniably suffered serious traumatic incidents but if I understand her story she has experienced great successes, and in her roles as an all A’s student, as star stage performer and athlete, as gorgeous teen/ cheerleader she has experienced incredible adulation and adoration. I am not going to say that ‘things even out’, but I am going to say that most neuro typicals will envy her life’s ‘highs’ (which most of us will NEVER attain) and therefore my response to her story is we all experience highs and lows - it’s just that you have experienced GREAT highs and GREAT lows. Many/most A spectrum people are not as accomplished and successful as the author. I would find their stories more instructive about the A spectrum experience. In the end, I think I am saying that while the author is an effective A spectrum advocate, she is NOT an ideal one.

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  • Morganic
  • 2022-06-07

Even if she isn’t right, it’s familiar and safe.

I’m being tested. And I may not fall into the spectrum in some ways but I quite literally have a “family joke” about not being able to take me shoe shopping as a kid, for the EXACT same reasons as her!

Realizing through reading this book that so many of my tantrums growing up were actually sensory issues I was told to burry and “get over” … and I did. And I’ve ignored my inner feelings throughout my life just to still never fit in or understand what I was doing wrong. Why couldn’t it just be normal?

This book feels familiar, and validating does every instance in my life I have felt crazy or spoiled or “too much” … and now I know it’s not because I was too much, it’s because nobody understood. Which is exactly how I’ve felt my entire life.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-08-06

A wonderful book

I loved this. As someone with Autism, this helps me better understand myself. I was diagnosed at 5, but didn't know about it till I was 13. Ever since then I've wanted to learn more about Autism so I could learn about and understand myself. I'm also an aspiring writer and storytelling, so it's a bit upsetting to see how we are portrayed in media. It also seemed heard to find stories of people with Autism like me, so when I saw this book I was so happy and I really enjoyed it.

1 person found this helpful