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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
Written by: Shahida Arabi
Narrated by: Julie McKay
Length: 19 hrs and 10 mins
Categories: Self-Help, Relationships
4 out of 5 stars (23 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual. Since pathological narcissists are unlikely to seek treatment for their disorder, it is difficult to pinpoint what exactly makes a narcissistic abuser tick and the manipulative tactics they use, which are likely to differ from those of other types of abusers as they are more covert and underhanded. What is even more baffling is the addiction we form with our narcissistic abusers, created by biochemical bonds and trauma bonds that are also unlike any other relationship we experience.

Using the latest scientific research as well as thousands of survivor accounts, this book will explore how the emotional manipulation tactics of narcissistic and antisocial partners affect those around them, particularly with regards to its cumulative socioemotional and psychological effects on the victim. It will also address questions such as: What successful techniques, tools, and healing modalities (both traditional and alternative) are available to survivors who have been ridiculed, manipulated, verbally abused, and subject to psychological warfare? What can survivors do to better engage in self-love and self-care? How can they forge the path to healthier relationships, especially if they've been a victim of narcissistic abuse by multiple people or raised by a narcissist? Most importantly, how can they use their experiences of narcissistic abuse to empower themselves towards personal development? What can their interactions with a narcissistic abuser teach them about themselves, their relationship patterns, and the wounds that still need to be healed in order to move forward into the happy relationships and victorious lives they do deserve?

Cover art by Penoaks Publishing at www.penoaks.com.

©2016 Shahida Arabi (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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  • Overall
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Thank you!!

Your awesome, I read the book then listened to it while leaving my covert narcissistic partner driving from one province to another, gave me the strength to know why I have to keep moving forward as turning around is not an option. This book has given me the motivation I needed and strength in breaking the cycle!! Thanks Shahida, knowledge is power and you inspire me!

🇨🇦

1 person found this helpful

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Mostly pointed to romantic relationships

I liked that there was some great tips and helped me realize some of the patterns I have with the narcissist in my life.

My problem was that the book was mostly about romantic relationships and my narcissist isn’t a romantic partner.

1 person found this helpful

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A must have for healing after narcissistic abuse.

A powerful book that shines a light on Narcissistic abuse victims and extremely helpful understanding on how narcissistic abuse unfolds, and ways to save yourself from being sucked back into abuse patterns.

I recommend this book for all survivors of abuse, what you learn is invaluable. ❤

1 person found this helpful

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Best summary on NPD, related abuse and therapy

By far the best and most comprehensive summary on narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse and recovery/therapy.
Contains lots of great references for further info as well.

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Excellent Job Shahida

Shahida’s book is a very well researched expose on NPD. Very practical and educative; I absolutely loved it. She is brilliant, smart, and an excellent communicator. She has truly gone the extra mile with this book. I salute her work and consider it to be amazing, stunning, enlightening, and comforting. God bless her. I recommend this book to everyone.

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  • Cheryl
  • 2017-03-20

Excellent book

I am so glad I listened to this book. It answered all of my unanswered questions. I had been in a relationship with a man that I loved deeply. I was constantly walking on egg shells and confused by his behavior before he walked out on me and cut contact with me. It crushed me and broke my heart. I had so many unanswered questions until I listened to "Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare". It has made it absolutely clear to me that I need to have absolutely "NO CONTACT", with this predator ever again. Thank you for writing such a well informed and compassionate book for people that have been through this kind of pain.

44 people found this helpful

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  • Goliath
  • 2017-08-16

invaluable information

i have been in arelationship for 10 years with my narcissistic wife. i have tried changing so many aspects of how i do things to keep the rage away, but it inevitably continues to get more intense with every fight. i stumbled across an article and purchased the book. i mean wow! couldnt put it down. my mind was starving for this information. thank you to the author. may it change many people's lives!

24 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2017-02-26

This book relieved much of my shame

I was enlightened about the ploys of a narcissist. Having been in 3 relationships whom I would call narcissists, my self esteem was taken to a new low. The thorough explainations in this book put words to my feelings and released much of my guilt and shame that everything was my fault. I feel empowered to begin a new and rewarding life with the help of my counselor.

24 people found this helpful

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  • zero
  • 2016-12-08

Finally

For me this book went where some left off.. what to actually do.. or maybe a better description..what youre thinking you should do.. is correct. Get out, get away. And if you cant now, plan to. Thats where I am, the final planning stages. My parents both narcs and I pretty much married my mothers version of narcissistic behaviors.. my life has been filled with much chaos, zero love and no peace. I am truly alone as I have no other family and my husbands family deemed him the scapegoat Im guessing many years ago. The people I should be able to count on and love me, dont exist. Im ready to go no contact and shut the door on my life in hell. Encouraging words were just what I needed from this, she was right in most therapists dont have a clue in dealing with this sickness and I did experience this ( marital counseling) and it indeed did make things
worse. Never mind what we discussed about him, the fact that i was completely transparent was the worst thing I could have done. I wish i learned sooner, but now I know.

119 people found this helpful

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  • ida
  • 2017-01-25

life changing

This book is forever LIFE CHANGING FOR ME! It was hard to read because of the painful truth attached to it but so necessary. I was at a point of the greatest loss in anyone's life . I knew there was an issue but I didn't realize what it was nor the impact of living with a narcissist. Without this life changing information I doubt I would be so willing to walk away from the poisonous behavior.

42 people found this helpful

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  • Annette
  • 2017-01-25

Excellent resource for victims of Narcissistic Personalities

Well researched and drawing upon experience earned through her own and experience this author has filled the gap between descriptions of Narcissistic PD and knowing what the relationships they engage in look like behind closed doors. She also takes away the burden of shame associated with being a victim of a Narcissist. I am a psychiatrist with over 25 years of experience and I learned something from this book and am using it with my patients.

61 people found this helpful

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  • Ella
  • 2017-08-03

Tremendous help in understanding & abuse recovery

A must read for those suffering from narcissistic abuse! This book has given me much needed piece of mind in my road to recovery!

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  • agata scibich
  • 2017-12-22

Sorry but I am disappointed in this book.

I think this just is not my format.
I like some parts of this book. Beginning of each chapter is good but then it turns into lots of quotes and references and I just get bored and lost and skip to next chapter .
I would rather have this book shorter or have all those references in the end chapter. I guess this book is better when read as papet copy, but as an audiobook isn't that good at all.
I wouldn't recommend.
There are at better audipbook on that topic like "Psychopaths free"

23 people found this helpful

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  • Chase
  • 2017-10-04

Annoying Links

The constant spelling out of links from the text to sources and websites for further information was INCREDIBLY annoying and I can't imagine how it could have been helpful to anyone. The length of the audio program must have been extended 5 fold for these annoying and terribly presented pauses to include links to outside content. I could only listen for so long before I had to stop altogether, which is a shame because the book otherwise has some good insights into NPD and how to recover from abuse. If only the creators had given some thought has to how better to present additional content I would have much liked the information given in the text itself.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Tee
  • 2017-01-14

Good info but annoying delivery

It's really difficult to listen to because of the narrators vocal frying and/or exaggerated pronunciations. Such great information. Depending on my mood, I just dread hitting play.

33 people found this helpful