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Daughter Detox

Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life
Written by: Peg Streep
Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
5 out of 5 stars (4 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

A self-help book based in science, the result of more than a decade of research, Daughter Detox offers the daughters of unloving mothers vital information, guidance, and real strategies for healing from childhood experiences, and building genuine self-esteem.

Writer Peg Streep lays out seven distinct but interconnected stages on the path to reclaim your life from the effects of a toxic childhood: "discover", "discernment", "distinguish", "disarm", "reclaim", "redirect", and "recover". Each step is clearly explained and richly detailed with the stories of other women. With approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines and with unique exercises, the book will help the listener tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior.

The message of the book is direct: What you experienced in childhood need not continue to hold you back in life. What was learned can be unlearned with effort.

The book begins with "discovery", opening up the listener's understanding of how she has been wounded and influenced by her mother's treatment. Recognizing the eight toxic maternal behaviors - dismissive, controlling, emotionally unavailable, unreliable, self-involved or narcissistic, combative, enmeshed, or role-reversed - lays the foundation for the daughter's awareness of how her way of looking at the world.

"Discernment" delves into the patterns of relationship in her family of origin and how they played a part in her development, and then shifts to looking closely at how the daughter adapted to her treatment, either silencing or losing her true self in the process.

Next up is "distinguish", seeing how the behavioral patterns we learned in childhood animate all of our relationships in the present with lovers and spouses, relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. The act of distinguishing allows us to see why so many of us end up in unsatisfying relationships.

Active recovery begins with "disarm" as the daughter learns how to disconnect unconscious patterns of reaction and behavior and substitute actions that will foster the growth of self-esteem. Understanding the triggers that set us off, the cues that put us on the defensive, and the default positions of blaming ourselves and making excuses for other people's toxic behavior are addressed.

"Reclaim" is the stage at which the listener begins to actively make new choices, preparing herself so that she can live the life she desires by seeing herself as having agency and being empowered. 

Making new choices and figuring out how to manage her relationship to her unloving or toxic mother is the focus of "redirect".

Finally, "recover" challenges the listener to come up with a new definition of what it means to heal, suggests tools to overcome the obstacles she places in her own way, and strategies to become the best, most authentic version of herself.

©2017 Peg Streep (P)2018 Tantor

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  • Amber Zeeff
  • 2018-09-21

Hits the nail on the head

I never knew I had a mother like this--and I thought it was always me...omg I am so glad to hear there others like this out there and it gives me strength to tell my story plus help many others who have ever dealt with this. Thank you so much for making me feel normal again.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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  • Vivi
  • 2018-09-23

MUST HAVE FOR NO CONTACT SUPPORT

This book is amazing, super helpful especially for those of us that have been dealing with on/off low and no contact. It is a great supplement for continuing and supporting therapy. If you are a therapist and this dynamic is new to your wheelhouse - you need this book!

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • M.R.
  • 2018-12-05

Just what I needed!!

I'm so glad I stumbled on this title. I was so hooked on this audio book that I would listen to it way past my bedtime because I wanted to hear more on this topic. The author would say something so compelling that I would shout out "YES!" and then I felt so relieved to know that it wasn't my fault. The narrator has a very pleasant reading voice, too. There is also an exercise chapter where you are highly encouraged to journal your thoughts.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Catherine Morgan
  • 2019-04-04

I have a Master's in Counseling Best book EVER!!!!

I'm going to be reading this one over and over! Sad that so many of us need this, but it is Uber healing and restorative.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Molly Hermes
  • 2018-09-08

Best Advice Ever!!!!

I have read so many books on this subject. This is the best, research-based book I have ever read. Thank you Peg Streep!!!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Andrea Hudson
  • 2019-08-29

Comforting, non triggering, educational

This was one of the more non triggering books on healing from a narcissistic mother that I’ve found. I think it’s because depending on how emotionally raw you’re feeling, the way she attacks the topics is less emotionally charged and more objective with “cool processing” as she puts it. Very educational and though she’s empathetic to the struggle, she’s focused more on how to effectively cope with and process a painful past from a psychological perspective/how the brain and emotions work. I find this approach to be most helpful when I’m being triggered as it helps to ground me and give me tools I can use now to change my emotional and thought processes.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2019-07-03

Seeking Self

can't believe I'm just discovering this book! So very enlightening, thought provoking, and wonderfully maddening