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  • Good Inside

  • A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
  • Written by: Becky Kennedy
  • Narrated by: Becky Kennedy
  • Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
  • 4.9 out of 5 stars (71 ratings)

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Good Inside

Written by: Becky Kennedy
Narrated by: Becky Kennedy
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Publisher's Summary

From Dr. Becky Kennedy, the psychologist known as the "Millennial Parenting Whisperer," comes a practical guide that offers a radical new approach to parenting.

Over the past several years, Dr. Rebecca Kennedy—known to her many followers as simply "Dr. Becky"—has been sparking a parenting revolution. Tired of advice that doesn't work or simply doesn't feel good to put into practice, hundreds of thousands of parents have been turning to Dr. Becky for her empowering, forgiving, and effective approach to parenting that meets parents exactly where they are—and gives them the tools to do better. 

In Good Inside, Dr. Becky shares her popular philosophy and tools in a comprehensive resource designed to help parents move from frustration and self-blame to empowerment, confidence, and sturdy leadership. For decades, Dr. Becky suggests, parents have been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn't work. From reward charts to time outs, the "evidence-based" incentives and punishments many experts recommend are based on shaping behavior, not raising humans. These techniques don't build the skills kids need for life and don't account for kids' complex emotional needs. Add to that the conditioning we've inherited from our own parents—which often discounts the validity of emotions altogether—and you end up with a generation of parents who feel lost, burned out, and worried they're failing their kids. 

In this ground-breaking book, Dr. Becky builds from the baseline of a radically simple but profound truth: You are good inside. Your kids are good inside. There are no "bad kids" or "bad parents"—there are only good kids having a hard time, and good parents struggling to do their jobs well. After diffusing blame and shame, she asks listeners to shift their focus from discipline to connection. Because the only way we can help our kids through tough times, suggests Dr. Becky, is to reinforce secure attachment. 

Part manifesto, part how-to guide, Good Inside is as focused on self-development as it is child development, since it's impossible for parents to meet their child's needs without first meeting their own. Filled with both perspective-shifting strategies as well as troubleshooting for specific scenarios—including sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, tantrums, rudeness and defiance, not listening, and more—Good Inside is a stand-alone resource for a generation of parents looking for a new way to raise their kids while still setting them up for a lifetime of resilience, confidence, and self-regulation.

©2022 Becky Kennedy (P)2022 HarperCollins Publishers

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Read this book

This book is amazing for kids, and for parents. I highly recommend reading this book.

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A book for EVERYONE!

The things Dr. Becky speaks about could be so healing in our fractured world, not only in homes, but workplaces too.

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The best parenting book ever

If you have kids, this is a must-read. Life changing advice! I will likely read it again in a few years as a refresher :)

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Not just for Parents

Educators and caregivers would benefit from from this book. The philosophy of “good inside” is for all those who have people in their lives.

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All parents should read!

This will be a repeat listen for me for sure. So much great information and strategies for common parenting challenges.

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For parents and nonparents

It’s a MUST read! Such an amazing book! I’m a new parents and listening to Dr Becky share her insight has helped me understand how I was parented and how I want to parent. Dr Becky gives great real life examples. Highly recommend the listen for ALL!

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Excellent!

Life changing insights and tips. I am excited to integrate them and grow my relationships with my kids. Thank you!

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A Must Read for Every Parent

This book is a must read/listen for every parent/parent to be. I wish I had learned many of these strategies and what I learned in this book before I even had kids. Would love some more older kid (7 & 11 right now) examples of how to implement Dr. Becky’s parenting advice! It was such an amazing & life changing listen. And listening to the author always makes it extra powerful! It’s a lot of info to take it so there’s no doubt I’ll be listening again! Thanks Dr. Becky for reminding us we are all good inside!

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Felt Seen and Heard

As a millennial parent of two (infant and toddler) I’m this book provided me the wings to be good inside, to see myself as good inside, and to be a good parent. This book felt like talking to a mom-friend, one with good ideas and suggestions about our kids and helping them grow. This book has helped me process my intergenerational trauma and makes positive steps forward. This book, is a friend I will visit again and again.

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This book will genuinely make the world a better place

Not only will this book help you be an extraordinary parent. It has the content necessary to mend intimate relationships, and help a person empathize and feel compassion for anyone you have ever interacted with. This book changed my life and I can’t recommend it enough

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  • R. Humphrey
  • 2023-01-08

Sounds Wonderful, Does Not Work

I'm the perfect audience for Dr. Becky Kennedy. I have a PhD myself from the same institution; I want to be a great parent; I want connection, not rewards or punishments. It all made sense and resonated. Becky is also a great salesperson (tells you how wonderful you are as a parent for even reading her book or joining her paid website) - and I was sold.

The problem? If you're tackling or trying to curb poor behaviors, this method sadly does not work. Prior to the moment when my wife and I applied this good inside parenting approach, our child needed some mild interventions in her behavior. Three months later, we have a screaming, completely out of control child. We changed nothing else, except that beforehand, when our daughter clearly misbehaved, we'd say things like "If this continues, we will NOT go to --- tomorrow or you won't GET ----." It worked, but didn't feel good; it sometimes felt like bribery, so we tried the Good Inside. We started saying "All your feelings are allowed; wow, those are some big feelings; you're a good kid having a hard time." Our child's behavior got worse. She went so far as to hit me. I responded with the Good Inside advice "I won't let you do that. I understand you have big feelings, but I won't let you hit me." Well, turns out you can't really wrestle your child into not hitting you that easily, unless they're perhaps two. She hit me again the next day, and she hit her grandma as well.

Today, after additional poor behavior, I finally yelled and said: "This is enough! If you don't stop, I'm returning one gift you got recently for each instance of unacceptable behavior." Yes, she cried; she doesn't want to lose Christmas and birthday gifts. BUT she apologized to us and went to sleep more centered than she has been in a while.

If you're a parent who would benefit from advice that you should give your undivided attention to your child for 5 (yes, five!) minutes a day, then this book will be worth it for you. However, I'm assuming, since you're reading or considering reading this book that this is not the case, and that you already do give attention to your child.

Dr. Kennedy's approach was to apply therapy for adults and conflict/problem resolution for adults to children. She even uses arguments as "How would you feel if you yelled at your husband and he then tells you to go to your room and takes away your iPad?" I do not understand how such a brilliant person doesn't see the fallacy of this analogy. I wish this Good Inside approach was the answer, but I'm afraid it will create many kids who always think they're "good inside" even if they're acting terribly or disregarding everyone around them because they "know how they feel" and they know "how to stand up for themselves." A dangerous book precisely because it's compelling while not at all based in science - but in "how something feels."

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  • Nonya bidness
  • 2022-10-05

Children are children

This book makes some good points, but it suggests the typical way of parenting (behavior modification through reward and punishment) is going to damage your children and make them out of control teens. If that were true, all teens would be out of control, but most aren't. Out of control teens are the exception, not the rule.

The author also says that rewards and punishments will lead of out of control teens because the teen will eventually be too big to physically put in time out. That may be true, but you know what isn't too big to put in time out? Car keys, money, and the wifi password! Things teens actually care about and will respond to being taken away. No physical time out required.

The author also doesn't tell you what to do if the empathetic "I hear you, you're feeling..." approach doesn't work. She states that validating big feelings will help kids calm down. Sometimes when my daughter is experiencing big feelings and I try to validate her, she treats it as an invitation to escalate the tantrum, not calm down. So, now what?

She also takes the approach of "if you wouldn't like your partner treating you like that, don't treat kids like that" when parents react to tantrums. Children are children! The reason why I wouldn't like my partner responding to my emotions that way is because I'm an adult and don't appreciate being treated like a child. Children are not adults, it's ok to treat them like children.

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  • CaliforniaMama
  • 2022-10-06

An absolute gem.

I struggle every day with my profoundly difficult child. I have read dozens and dozens of parenting books for years and years. This one is like no other. I just finished listening to it and I’m already looking forward to revisiting several chapters and writing notes to remind myself of key points. It really is not an exaggeration to say that this book is life changing. Thank you, Dr. Becky.

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  • Reina
  • 2022-09-13

The parenting book you NEED

This is the parenting book everybody needs. In it, Dr. Becky talks strategies and why they work. She gives concrete examples of how to use them. Unlike other books that have left me wondering, “but how do I actually do this?” Dr. Becky’s book is just like her Instagram and podcast, gets to the HOW. Parenting made simple! I’m so glad to have this.

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  • Chris
  • 2023-05-11

Hard to read

I found the narrator voice (which is the author) to be very grating. In this tone of voice so much of the writing sounds like someone talking down to parents like they are children. I preferred Peaceful Parenting over this and would recommend reading it first and reading this after if you still want more content. Many of the strategies she mentions are from that source (but peaceful parenting had more evidence/strategies/explanations). The author has a lot of random ideas/“facts” with few if any sources cited for those concepts. Often the tone is very preachy. I wouldn’t recommend it to someone not yet committed to gentle parenting. There’s some good content, not the first title I’d recommend to folks though.

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  • Brittany K
  • 2022-09-22

HIGHLY recommend

I’ve been following Dr. Becky on Instagram for awhile and absolutely love her. She’s so reassuring and really has a way of teaching and explaining that is just so clear and helpful I. I am so inspired by her practical, judgement-free, useable advice! She wrote a PERFECT book. Literally perfect. I might never buy another book on Audible because I just want to listen to this one over and over so I can absorb every single piece of guidance she offers. A big complaint with parenting books or books about issues kids struggle with is that the whole book is fear mongering and doomsday-talk about all the problems and then offers no ACTIONABLE help or solutions! This is NOT true with this book. Every single chapter (probably every page!) has action steps. She give you scripts…the exact words to use. She gives you options, she gives you the WHY. She seriously thought of everything. Right when I would start to feel guilty like I messed up my kids she stopped me and literally told me not to feel guilty. I’m going to buy the hardcopy version of this book too, but honestly listening to Dr. Becky read it is the way to go. I love love love the way she recorded the Audible version. Her genuine tone, emotion, and enthusiasm when she read it allowed me to fully understand, and I love hearing her speak this priceless information right into my brain. I want to tell every parent I know to listen!

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  • Devan Allred
  • 2022-10-06

Mind blowing!!

This book has changed how I think about everything, from parenting to how I talk to my spouse and myself. I love it so much. 💗

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  • Kim Baumert
  • 2022-11-30

Wow!

Thank you Dr. Becky for a life-changing experience.
I am a mom of three girls.
my middle girl was a big feeling child. She also struggles with some learning difficulties. This led to a very turbulent adolescence.
she is currently in rehab for Drug addiction. I’ve been raising her daughter who is now five.
I am so thankful for all of your good practical advice.
I feel overwhelmed after reading the book there’s just so much information !!!
I purchased a hard copy as well and I hope that I can practice all these new skills until they become natural. It all makes good sense, honestly it’s always what I wanted as well to be connected to my daughter.
I just could never figure out how to get there.
I loved that you mentioned it’s never too late !
she will be 29 this year. she has been battling drugs since she was 14 It is nice to have her sober and I hope that this time her sobriety will last
thanks again

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  • christine
  • 2022-10-05

Hands down best parenting book I’ve EVER read

I have read countless parenting books and usually find a couple take aways. Good Inside is overflowing with research proven methods for positive and effective parenting. I have never read a parenting book that actually changed the way I think about my child’s behavior as a window into their deeper needs. So many useful and practical tips with actual steps for implementation throughout. I can’t say enough how happy I am to have found this book. I am planning to listen again and take notes to keep in my bedside table to go back to!

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  • Sonie
  • 2022-09-29

A MUST READ! Read it as soon as possible

Wow. This audiobook is absolutely phenomenal. Dr. Becky has written this book so well with relevant topics, very well outlined chapters, and most importantly real-life examples with real-life strategies that you can use within minutes of putting the book down. I have actually noticed a huge difference in the behavior and responses of my children after beginning to implement her descriptive strategies and scripts. Dr. Becky is truly a pioneer in her work and is leading the way in working with us parents on how to manage childhood and make a very positive, happy, and fun environment in our homes. She does all this while keeping the focus on nurturing the child-parent relationship and establishing building blocks for our kids to create stable foundations as they grow into young adults. I highly recommend stopping everything else and reading this book now if you're looking for a guide to raising awesome kids!

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