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Hosed

Written by: Lili Valente, Pippa Grant
Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Virginia Rose
Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (9 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door....

He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls.

He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.

I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.

Yeah, I’m the world’s oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And he’s the world’s hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can’t seem to control my libido when he’s around.

Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?

Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone?

Maybe they’re hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.

Yeah, I know. I’m hosed. So hosed.

Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.

©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Amanda
  • 2019-01-20

Super cute story

Narration was AMAZING!!! Anything with Jacob Morgan is pure gold :) and Virginia did a great job!
It was a unique story line with lots of funny times but not too many sexy times 😜 but even tho it wasn't the steamiest story ever, it is most definitely worth the credit!!!
Side note, the bonus epilogue in the raccoons point of view literally had me rolling on the ground laughing 😂

9 of 11 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • kestergayle
  • 2019-01-19

Quirky, original, and fun!

Ok, I loved this. It was silly, sassy, funny, and a bit different.

We have the small Georgia town of Happy Cat, where a woman named Savanna has opened a sex toy factory. Some of the citizens are quite irate about that. But Savanna gets her heart broken, leaves town in her grief and ominous things begin to occur at the factory. Meanwhile, her sister Cassie comes to town to operate the factory in Savanna's absence. When there is a fire at the factory, firefighter Ryan comes to the rescue. They were in high school together, where Ryan unwittingly broke Cassie's heart. That's how the story opens.

But, the charm of this tale is in the small town setting, the quirky characters, and George Cooney, Raccoon Extraordinaire. The love story is sweet, the 'drama' is fun and intriguing, and the denouement is emotionally fulfilling. I laughed many times while listening, and smiled hugely the rest of the time. If you like Lauren Blakely's books, I think you'll like this too. There is some angst, but it's not overdone, mostly I just found myself rooting for these two (and George, of course!), and enjoying my little trip to Happy Cat. I hope this is a series, because Ryan has some hot brothers, and of course there is still Savanna who needs an HEA. This is definitely a book I will listen to many times! (Be sure you listen to the second epilogue, it'll definitely make you laugh.)

The narration was perfect. Jacob Morgan/Zachary Webber was as wonderful as always, and Virginia Rose had just the right soft, sweet voice to perfectly embody Cassie. These two make a great team, and I'd like to see them paired up more often. If this does turn into a series, I certainly hope they narrate each volume! Frankly, I'd like to see them (and hear them!) more frequently in general. They are both too talented not to see more air time. I hope you're listening, Audible!

If you like humorous, unusual, contemporary romance, I think you'll enjoy this. It would be a wonderful pick me up on a blue day, a nice comfort read, or if you've just listened to something dark and heavy this would be a great mood lightener. It's not very long, so it would be a lovely book for the airplane or car, as well. I highly recommend this one!

11 of 14 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
  • Tiffany Martin
  • 2019-03-15

Lost my attention pretty quick

This is a "cute" story, but the plot was very simple. It lost my attention very quickly. I am usually more of a fan of slow burners, so when a book just moved straight from them meeting each other then being wildly in love, it just turns me off.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • being_ericamarie
  • 2019-05-28

Just ok

This book started out good but somewhere around the middle it kind of dropped off, it was a little difficult keeping my attention but I did finish it. Narration was great, but the story itself fell a little short for me.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • KeeperOfTheKeys
  • 2019-05-22

Great book

This is a great listen. My heart was warm and fuzzy, I laughed and I listened to Jacob Morgan. He could read the dollar menu at McDonalds and make it sound enticing. Worth the credit.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Yvonne Pohlson
  • 2019-05-07

Cute love story and entertaining but one scene too silly

For the most part I enjoyed this for a light romantic comedy, but scene where she gets “stuck” in toilet is silly and not believable to me.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
  • rcree
  • 2019-05-03

Audible trust issues

I am starting to become very skeptical of the reviews.... this was a god awful book and narration. I could not even finish. I'm thinking of canceling my membership. Why does audible have so many terrible narrators? 99% of them are the females. I loved the male narration, however, the female narration and general collaboration/writing was so bad, I could not even finish.

Also, who the heck thinks this is even remotely funny? Really, has anyone every really watched, or really "READ" a romantic comedy? One liners?? Really, that is so overdone and tired.

I'm starting to fear that "REAL" authors are paying more attention to immature reviews, vs actually putting out true romance novels.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • TALIA
  • 2019-05-02

This book was harilious.

ok 1st of all I bought this book because it was a Pippa Grant book. That alone is a winner for me. 2nd you just have to read this book, the bathroom scene alone, which includes Ryan & Cassie was so funny that tears were rolling down my face. I literly had trouble seeing to drive. 3rd the George Coony epilogue alone is enough to set anyone to rolling on the floor laughing. Truly it was priceless!
So please if you want to laugh so hard that you won't ever need to do crunches again then please buy this book. You sure won't be sorry, the romance is good, steamy parts are great, and the cast of characters are so well written its like they really are alive in Happy Cat, Georgia.
And no spoiler here but the bad character sure deserves a big old kick in the pants because the bad person will blow your mind.
So my fellow readers, happy reading.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • jill zombeck
  • 2019-04-28

Feel good and laugh out loud funny!

Okay, I loved this. It’s an easy, fun read with tons of sweet and funny moments. The bonus epilogue was my favorite part and induced some major deep belly laughter. If you’re looking for something light to enjoy in between heavy or dramatic reads, this is perfect!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Rose
  • 2019-04-27

Sometimes you need to just laugh

Funny and romantic. Loved the extra epilogue. I wonder If this is a series. I’d love to read about Savanna and Ryan’s brothers

1 of 1 people found this review helpful