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Publisher's Summary

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

  1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships
  2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are
  3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament
  4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways
  5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control

When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts - what Richo calls the five A's - form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

©2018 David Richo (P)2018 Random House Audio

What listeners say about How to Be an Adult in Relationships

Average Customer Ratings
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Amazingly insightful

This book just changed the way I see myself, my wife and our relationship.
It just changed my life for the better, I can’t wait to read it again.

1 person found this helpful

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Must read!

Delves deep into the psychology of people, from our childhood and how it affects are adult choices in relationships, but more importantly how to learn from that and improve our current relationships and heal from the past mistakes. Amazing!!!

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Paaaaainful performance.

He speaks so slowly and halts in weird places. It made if really difficult to follow. Putting it on 1.3 speed helped a bit.

In terms of content some good gems if a bit woo-ey

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  • Tyrus Smalley
  • 2018-11-08

THE most important thing I’ve listened to as an adult.

Insightful and inquisitive. This book is THE most important thing I’ve listened to as an adult.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Annah Nimouse
  • 2019-07-26

Missing text

I got the audio and kindle versions of the book. In the first chapter the audio version skipped about 5 pages
It seems great, but I want all the content

6 people found this helpful

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  • Justine Laliberte
  • 2018-05-09

very insightful and eye opening

I'll someone who was raised by to narcissist and really had no grass one would a healthy adult relationship is, this book was very insightful and I opening. I will definitely referred to this book again and make notes and let everything really sink in for me.

The only thing I can say bad about this book was at the narrator sometimes was hard to listen to, his tone is alright but it just seems very monotone and sometimes I would fall asleep

12 people found this helpful

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  • Gor Arakelyan
  • 2020-11-27

Most important book on relationship pshycology

They way author describes and explaines the role of egotism in relationship, changed the way I look at things.

2 people found this helpful

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  • meghan
  • 2020-10-06

This title should include a PDF

More than I expected content-wise but it would be more useful to have a PFD of the exercises the author wants you to work through. The examples were varied and the takeaway message was impactful. I appreciated the quality of the reading as well.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2019-05-18

In Depth Guide to Relationships

This book has helped the way I view all of my relationships (intimate and non-intimate). It has helped me take a mindful approach to how I respond to others and helped me show my love for others in more meaningful ways. I greatly enjoyed this book and all of the journal responses. I have already shared this book with my boyfriend and many friends. I will say that this book is very dense and my boyfriend said the physical copy is similar to a textbook. I chose to listen to some chapters again to fully digest their meaning; however, I found listening to this book very enjoyable. If you find this text too dense, I encourage you to find other information on this topic because it will truly change your life. Please don't let the format keep you from bettering your relationships.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Stacey D. Moore
  • 2020-07-21

Very Aspirational and Informative

This book spoke to my spirit and gave some nice exercises to do the work for myself improvement.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Mystic7
  • 2019-10-30

This book will save you years of therapy.

My recommendation is to listen to one to two chapters per month... there is A LOT of information to process...but it is worth it, and it will make you aware of patterns of behavior. The author is a Psychotherapist of Buddhist practice, that has generously shared many years of knowledge in this book. He has a peaceful, soft tone, his writing style is a bit poetic at times, and he uses a lot of metaphors. This is not a fluffy how to book...this book is deep, meaningful and it is meant for those that really want to reflect and develop to be able to have a healthier adult relationship within and with others . This book will gave me the clarity I seeked, now I am aware. Awareness is the key to making better choices and positive shifts in our lives. This book can save you years of therapy. Seek and you shall find -What you seek, is seeking you.

1 person found this helpful

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  • JennyJenn
  • 2021-04-17

A must for any adult, single or not

This is an incredible book for understanding self in relationship to others and vice versa. I picked it by chance and have been in awe of the wisdom it holds. Please do yourself a favor and listen to this book.

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  • ZPrime
  • 2021-03-27

Awful writing style

This was such a pain to read/hear. The point of the book gets lost in all the endless poetic fluff.