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  • How to Vex a Vampire

  • VRC: Vampire Related Crimes, Book 1
  • Written by: Alice Winters
  • Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
  • Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (57 ratings)

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How to Vex a Vampire

Written by: Alice Winters
Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
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Publisher's Summary

Finn

Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part. What’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner - an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it. Marcus - or, as I like to call him: Fangy McFangface - would really prefer to keep it that way.

He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words, and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not. But what he doesn’t know is that I didn’t join the unit because I was tired of being a homicide detective. I joined because there is someone after me. 

They’ve already taken enough from me, and I’m afraid they’re going to take all of me if I don’t find someone to help. That’s all Marcus was supposed to be, but now, he’s so much more, and I can’t imagine my life without him.

Marcus 

The moment the pesky human walked through that door, I knew I had to get rid of him. He’s charming, and almost everyone else instantly loves him, but he doesn’t understand how risky it is being part of this unit as a human.

But as I get to know the stubborn man, I learn that, perhaps, he’s not as naive as I once thought. And, maybe, he’s what I needed to realize there is more to life than just work and my dog.

A group arises that is threatening to disrupt the alliance between the humans and the vampires, but Finn is the one who shows me how strong that alliance can be and reminds me why it’s worth protecting.

When threats hit closer to home, I realize I would do anything for Finn because he’s brought so much joy to my life...and because he’s mine. 

Note: This book features a creative use for undergarments, unintentional splits, a wolfhound who just wants to be a part of things, a vertically challenged human who still manages to wrap every vampire he meets around his little finger, the best date ever, possessiveness, really awkward dancing, some workplace revenge, and just a bite or two. Or three.

©2020 Alice Winters (P)2020 Alice Winters

What listeners say about How to Vex a Vampire

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Good story.

Overall, I enjoyed this audio book. I do have a dislike of present tense because I (and many others) consider it lazy grammar. The story did help overcome it somewhat. The author wove a nicely suspenseful tale with a slow romantic build and a ton of humor that actually made me laugh out loud.

The narrator was very good, giving a nice variety of voices so there was no confusion over who was speaking. The narrative was smooth and easy to follow. My only beef with him was his tendency to say 'she' instead of 'he'. At first I thought it was my tablet but I 'rewound' the sixth time it was used and yup, definitely 'she said. Regardless, I will be on the lookout for more work by this narrator.

If you can overlook the above then you will definitely like this audio book.

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2 people found this helpful

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Alice Winters does it again!

I read this book twice before it came out on audio, so it was an instant buy for me when it was released on audible. As with all Alice Winters books it has the perfect level of humor and excitement. Finn is an amazing protagonist who manages to dig into your heart with all hes been through and the attitude he has toward life. Marcus is his perfect foil and tries not to like Finn at first, but it's only a matter of time before he realizes Finn is what he needs in his life.

Michael Ferraiuolo voices the characters perfectly and had me laughing out loud at the inflection he put into certain phrases.

5 stars all around. Can't wait for book 2 to come out on audio as well!

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Michael Ferraiuolo is the star

The voice actor here is the absolute star of this book. He takes the humour and the voice acting to a level I have not seen to date in the many Saudi books I have heard, and it’s a star even amongst favourites. I laughed out loud given his acting where I might only have smiled to myself otherwise. The book is excellent as well and whilst I could do without the copious short jokes, I really look forward to the next one with glee.

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Pulls you in from the first page!

What a concept for Vampires and Humans liiving together. Many vampire books are too much like twilight, drenched in teenaged angst and drama and I just can't get into them. But this series is fantastic so far. I'm really enjoying the humor and the characterization. And the narrator is spot on I could listen to him all day. Love the different types of voices really really good job .

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Amazingly hilarious and fun

A great start to a series, it's been a while since iv laughed out loud so much because of a characters antics. And the narrator did such a great job with fins voice. Looking forward to the rest of the series.

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Hilarious!!

This book was absolutely hilarious. I caught myself giggling, snorting and even laughing out loud! With that, there's mystery, action, drama and healthy does of heat.
The character and world building was really well done throughout the book. I highly recommend it.

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  • HP
  • 2021-10-22

BEST NARRATOR EVER!!!!

These books were hilarious when I read them, but man have I been laughing my ass off listening to them! I like to listen to books I’ve already read and sadly, some of my favs have narrated by someone who just ruined them…..I couldn’t even finish some and these are books I’ve read numerous times. Michael Ferraiuolo is AMAZING!! THE BEST! And you will LOVE these books!!!

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Hilarious and Sexy

The narration really made this story sing. The snark and sarcasm had me cackling and cursing at the same time. There is only so much I can take before I have to yell out loud that the main character is a delightful asshole.

But why is it that audio books always seem to be right at the smutiest parts just when I want drive in food.

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  • Leo
  • 2020-05-18

Fabulous Vampire Rom-Com🧛🏻‍♂️

5 Blue Roses
4 Blue Flames

Narrator Michael Ferraiuolo delivered a fun-filled, weirdly dark but hilariously entertaining first installment of the VRC: Vampire Related Crimes series. Strap on your safety belts, wear your neck braces. This one is going to give listeners pinched nerves due to unexpected bursts of ugly laughter. Neck muscles may spasm and pain may become worse when you continue laughing, so whatever you do don’t laugh!

Michael is an extraordinary narrator. His ability to convey various emotions from opposite sides of the humourous scales to sexy luscious bedroom talk, phew, he is surely a king of narration!

The author has the talent to play with words, bringing angst, laughter and mystery to her outrageously funny characters. This is definitely one of those audiobooks you have to hear when feeling hypomanic and need your scrambled moods to be put back in line.

How to Vex a Vampire is an extremely entertaining story. I love the vampires and the twist in the paranormal aspect of it. Marcus is a broody vampire, but he never stood a chance against Finn. I enjoyed the banter between Finn and Marcus but as things got a little more serious and we learn about Finns’ past. The life he had by constantly living in fear and hiding from someone or something is stalking him quickly becomes the focus of the plot. It is gripping and I will happily continue the story onto book two. We do have a HEA, with a mild cliffhanger, but the author does not leave you hanging hopelessly.

I absolutely recommend this audiobook. I am nominating it for a Blue Encore!!

Happy Listening

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  • Zell Oakley
  • 2020-07-02

Very, very confused by all the positive reviews

If nothing else, the massively gushing reviews I've read of this book have taught me that I have wildly different taste from other romance readers, because I couldn't get past the first hour of this book.

To me, the book reads like a fanfic, and not even a particularly good one. Yes, Michael Ferraiuolo does a good job with the snarky dialogue, but the book is like 90% dialogue, and 90% of THAT is snarky. That's a bit much for me. It's like the author discovered that she can do one thing pretty well--in this case write snappy dialogue--and decided to make the entire book into one long conversation. And another thing, these are supposed to be cops, and some of them are supposed to be ancient vampires, so WHY oh why does everyone talk like middle school girls?

In addition, the book is written entirely in present tense which drives me NUTS. Usually I can get past it after a while, but in this case it just got more and more grating as the narration went on.

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW I'm in the minority in not liking the book. Read some other reviews and buy it, you'll probably love it. But it was just not for me, at all.

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  • Rebecca Azizov
  • 2020-05-01
Listener received this title free

incredible!!!!!!

It's review time 🎧

How to Vex a Vampire
By Alice Winters
Narrator Michael Ferraiuolo

Narrator score🎧 ; Michael is a king! Come on!!! the effects he did with his voice, were absolutely fantastic! That
Voice he gave the antagonist character was just brilliant! The characters ... I'm truly in awe of this talent. And you have some Russian in here. I ask myself if Alice winters know what zanuda truly means. Yes, it is annoying. This is the meaning of this word but it much more. It's if you got a piece of wood under your nail (zanoza in Russian) and can't get it out the pain will irritate you... but it won't be unbearable and you wouldn't feel it constantly, but when you will it would be so painful and irritating. And the point is that it suits the main character so much that it's hilarious! And Michael just says the word so good!!!

“You’re like a really annoying dog that wants attention, and I just want to stick you in a crate on the other side of the house.”

Level of steam🔥: it's a sweet sweet book. You do have some moments but its definitely not about that. I think the innuendo covers that part the best. I discovered I'm 6 years old apparently. Because I love those moments more than the steamy parts, much much more.

“Yes, I was watching P***.”
“I’ll be P*** for you,” he mumbles as he pulls his shirt up and pokes his nipple. “Porn.”
“Wow… that was very s**y.”

Level of anxiety and sadness0😱😢: the book is hilarious! But with that, you have this Alice magic. She just has this capability to take a storyline that can be very serious, and turn it to the best comedy ever. And she did it again in the best way possible! You do have a complex storyline but it's so funny that your face will probably hurt from the smiles and giggles.

“What? Do I not look like the type of man to snuggle up to a bush and take a nice long nap?”


The book itself📖: what can I say? How many times I have listened to books about vampires. And yes a lot of them are brilliant as well, but this book has actually a very complex world to stand on, you have rules, that you discover with the story. And it's a fantasy that shows you said rules on the go by.
You have two incredible characters. Each brings you its complicated past to the story, and the development is so smooth and funny that you just can't not love it. I think that even people that don't like fantasy stories usually will adore this book. What's not to love? A quirky twink a rude old vampire and a lot of action!

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  • Jesse
  • 2020-07-29

Played up on every stereotype

I wanted to love it and made myself listen to the end. The story was just okay. It played up on every gay stereotype. The storyline felt very dated. The characters were not realistic in their roles. The book may have been tolerable if the narrator didn't over exaggerate the effeminate nature of the main character.

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10 people found this helpful

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  • Jeff S.
  • 2020-05-12

Laughed my head off!

This was a an extremely pleasant surprise! The writing was great. Serious and Funny! Michael Ferraiuolo was the perfect narrator for this book. Can't wait for the next book!

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8 people found this helpful

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 2020-11-05

It's like one long conversation with bits of plot

This author is good at writing heartwarming characters and snappy, funny dialogue, but that dialogue goes on entirely too long. Listening to it, I'm imagining PAGES of their silly back-and-forths until something finally happens or the scene finally changes. It feels endless. It was very charming and endearing for the first book I read from this author which was the first Hitman one, but listening to the same exact dynamic again for 10 hours got really old really fast. It does kind of read like a fanfiction, and while I love fanfiction, fanfic works because fanfic doesn't really have the responsibility of carrying its own worldbuilding. The cornerstones are already laid out for you.
I adored that the main character was disabled, but sadly, trying to get through the book when the conversations go on forever and you find yourself mumbling "Yes, yes, this is all very funny. Ha ha. Please move on" is disappointing.
Michael Ferraiuolo did a great job as usual, one of my favorite narrators ever. Finn was a little extra flamboyant sounding but that's not necessarily a bad thing and maybe he was supposed to.

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  • RACHEL REED
  • 2020-12-28
Listener received this title free

A snarky and hilarious paranormal romcom!

This was a sweet opposites attract, kind of enemies to lovers paranormal romance.

I loved the snarky banter, hilarious back and forth and entertaining dialogue.

The characters were likeable and fun and the hint suspense added to the overall charm of the storyline.

Michael Ferraiuolo performed an enjoyable and compelling audio delivery and narration.

Definitely looking forward to the rest of the series.

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5 people found this helpful

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 2020-05-16

loved it

loved it. will probably listen to it multiple times..sooo funny. Marcus and Finnegan are perfect together.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 2020-12-26

Love love love

I'm so in love with this series. Alice writes amazing books with with so much humor, loooove and a twist. You laugh, you cry and then laugh some more. Michael seriously he really is one of the best narrators I've listened to. really recommend both of them.

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  • Aethena Drake
  • 2020-06-23

Good story. Good narration.

Alice Winters knows how to create a fascinating blend of romance, humor, and mild terror while educating the reader about personal challenges.

This is my favorite book from the author so far. I can't wait for the next one.

The narrator is perfect for this series.

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  • Mali Mor ❤ The Romantic Blogger
  • 2020-05-10

Micheal stole the show! 👏

great and funny story, but one thing is for sure: Micheal Ferraiuolo stole the show! 👏

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