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  • I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

  • Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
  • Written by: Brené Brown
  • Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
  • Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (408 ratings)

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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

Written by: Brené Brown
Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
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Publisher's Summary

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, Never good enough! and What will people think? 

Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance, we might think its because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are real; we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance. 

There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how were supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection. 

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together. 

As Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection - the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives."

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2007 Brené Brown (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

What the critics say

"Brené Brown’s ability to explore shame and resilience with humor, vulnerability and honesty is both uplifting and liberating. If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world, we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent. This important and hopeful book offers a bold new perspective on the power of telling our stories." (Professor Jody Williams, 1997 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient; Campaign Ambassador, International Campaign to Ban Landmines)
"Grounded in exceptional scholarship and filled with inspiring stories, this is one of those rare books that has the potential to turn lives around." (Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger)
" I Thought It Was Just Me can be a doorway to freedom and self-esteem for many, many readers. (Martha Beck, Ph.D., columnist, O, The Oprah Magazine, and author of Finding Your Own North Star)

What listeners say about I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

Average Customer Ratings
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Narrator so annoying!

Brene Brown, pleeeeeease narrate your audible books because you are so interesting to listen to.

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26 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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Description flawed. Bad audio.

Shame is something all genders deal with, this book is written for a female audience using data generated from women and describes situations and viewpoints men would have difficulty appreciating. This should have been pointed out in the description.
The narrators "S" sounds are so annoying and pronounced that they sound like a whistle. Did they not use any audio editing at all? After several minutes it's sssSSSSO annoying I can't continue listening.
Content may be OK (the little that I could stand to hear).
Cannot recommend.

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18 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Kia
  • 2018-12-09

This book is about shame

This book wasn’t at all what I expected. It’s completely about shame and women. It’s was okay, but no real new information here.

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12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Missed the authenticity of the author’s voice

I thought this book was excellent, and yet it took me much longer to get through than most books. There was nothing wrong with the performance per se, although I only rated it three stars. I have had the pleasure of listening to several other of Brene Brown’s books, performed by the author herself. The personal experience and enthusiasm with which the author delivers her work, is simply missing for me in this book. Again, no disrespect to the performance by Lauren Fortgang, But sometimes I found myself zoning out because I missed that genuine enthusiasm that just cannot compare to a performance, when delivered by someone who is so intimately connected to her own personal research and topic. Because I have listened to several of Brown’s other books, delivered by the researcher/author herself, this was sadly missing for me. However I persevered and the book as usual was extremely well done. The only thing I felt that could be improved, was that on occasion, there was a run on of different comments, shared by various research participants, without alerting the listener to this. Perhaps if I had the physical book and saw a variety of different statements in quotations, it may have been easier to follow. Thus, at times, the clarity could have been improved. However, as usual, I loved Brown’s work and findings, shared as storytelling, which I am certain would be appealing to all who either read or listen to it.

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6 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Life changing content

Took me a while to get used to the slightly robotic reader"s voice, compared to Brene"s.
Still recommend it to everyone.

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4 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Where is Brene?! Was this book created by AI?

This book is great, but similar to her other books about shame and vulnerability, so nothing really that new and profound. It seems like it was a special promo deal made for Amazon exclusively. As Brene doesn’t event bother to narrate this book as she usually does with the rest of her books. It makes me wonder if she even wrote this book or did Amazon just create this book using their own AI based on all of Brene’s other books. And hearing the robotic AI narrator kept on distracting me and making me think where is Brene?! As I am so use to hearing her warm and fuzzy voice and upbeat narration, which is totally lacking from this book.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

confusing narration

I really enjoyed the text in this title, but i found the narration very confusing as it was hard to follow.
The book is written in first person, from Brene Brown's experience, but then also uses many examples from others, also in first person.
the way these other first person bits were delivered was very confusing. it would jump from one first person story to another without anything breaking the two stories up, so you'd think it was the same person in the story. then it would jump back to Brene's story.
I hope they fix this in future books' audio version, so it's clear when the "I" changes. Ideally there would be another narrator for the other voices, or at least switch to third person POV.

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2 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Amy
  • 2020-08-04

Deeper understanding of Shame

I found this book extremely helpful in understanding shame and working on shame resilience. It has made me more aware of my own shame, how I interact with others in their shame, showing empathy and compassion. I am hoping by my further knowledge in this topic I will be able to strengthen and grow not just within myself but my family as well.

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1 person found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • JCV
  • 2023-11-24

Lost the plot about half way through

I enjoy Brene Brown generally, particularly live/via YouTube. In these scenarios, she has limited time to get her points across. Overall, Brene has lots of good, valid, important things to say. However, in this book, the direction began to diverge about half-way through. It felt like she was searching for a way to make a good short book into a 300 page book - unnecessarily.

The first half was focused and direct, in the "If this, then" style. The second half began to meander and felt unfocused.

I enjoyed the first half very much but lost interest after that, as much of the second half seemed to be repetitive and without a clear goal or thesis.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A deep dive into shame

Amazing content—true to Brene Brown’s value proposition but how I wish it was narrated by her rather than outsourced.

If you’re expecting the BB magic, the audiobook will leave you wanting. If you can get past that, the content will most likely inspire profound reflection and relatability.

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  • Leslie A Hill
  • 2011-08-09

I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....

I'm sure this book has a lot to offer to most women; unfortunately not so much for me. Most of the book focuses on motherhood and parenting.. I don't have children, so could not relate a good deal of the time and lost interest.

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401 people found this helpful

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  • Sherry
  • 2013-09-01

Missing Brene's own Vulnerability Voice

If you are one of the squillions who have watched Brene Brown on TedTalks or Oprah's Super Soul Sunday you may empathize with my review. I missed hearing the book narrated by Brene Brown herself. Lauren Fortgang's effort was not without merit, however after having been engaged by watching Brene then buying the books I missed her delivery of her own words.

The book itself was worth the investment, I've listened twice since purchasing.

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231 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Justyna
  • 2017-01-02

Interesting but not for me

Definitely there were parts that I appreciated for being insightful and explaining things, soon the book became pretty boring and repetitive as it constantly circled around the issues of parenting and family.
I'm in my mid 20s, I'm still a student, and I have no interest in creating a family, let alone having children. A lot of the examples and discussions in the book simply weren't for me. I might re-visit it in 10-15 years when it becomes more relevant. That's really the only thing about this book that dissatisfied me, and of course that's a very subjective reason.

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155 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Stacey
  • 2012-07-23

Good self-help book; not well-suited for audio.

I thouroughly enjoyed Brené Brown's TED talks on vulnerability and shame; I had hoped that this book would be an expansion on those discussions by the author.
This book contains a lot of useful information and interesting anecdotes regarding overcoming shame, embracing reality, and having compassion for oneself and others. However, it is not written in a style that works well with audio. It contains many parts that I would just skim in a print book; it has reader exercises that would be more useful in a visual format; and there are parts that I would like to mark, think about, and come back to (not ealily done in this audio format).
A critique of the material is that it seems to focus primarily on women like Brown, herself: white, educated, mid-upper income, etc. Though there is a nod here and there to people who are not in those categories, it is pretty clear that this book does not do much to address the broader experience of people outside Brown's comfort zone. Then again, the audience that actually buys self-help books like this is primarily comprised of women, white, educated, mid-upper income, etc. (including me).

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147 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Dara Burwell
  • 2016-03-13

Important points, anemic delivery

What was most disappointing about Brené Brown’s story?

This book makes a number of interesting and relevant points. Unfortunately it’s not a smooth read/listen – it is much longer and more repetitive than it needs to be. The book has the appearance of something that was adapted from a thesis, but wasn’t rearranged to be reader friendly. I think that Brown’s evaluation of shame vs. humiliation vs. embarrassment is very important. I just wish it had been more clearly conveyed.

Did Lauren Fortgang do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

Fortgang did a good job narrating this book. She sounded compassionate and sincere, and conveyed the emotion that I think Brown intended.

Any additional comments?

I believe the book could have been streamlined. Sharpening the points and examples and making the book about half the length would have made it far stronger.

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116 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Max:Wang
  • 2017-07-29

Didn't think it was just women (but it is)

Didn't get any indication that this book was exclusively about women. The author is pretty much only talking about women's contexts and its often difficult to relate or even remember why I'm listening. The book itself is great, a lot of good information and good work in here but the title or subtitle should have said something about the book being specifically relevant for women.

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65 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • THoward
  • 2015-02-24

The last book

Any additional comments?

I have a friend who is always saying he is looking for his last book, meaning something so good and powerful that searching for another perspective is not worth the time. I suggested I have found the last author, but not the last book. Brene Brown is moving, enlightening and so real. I have re-read her books several times. I feel like I was swallowed up as a broken soul and soothed until I could stand on my feet again. I'm not alone, I'm not perfect, I'm just me. I learned that practicing what I believe means loving myself and those around me for who they are, not what they are. Practicing each day means making my life fulfilling and happy. Practicing the art of loving without constraint, without parameters, without any restriction at all is what I want in my life. WOW! Incredible author.

I started with The Gifts of Imperfection. I listened 3 times (in a row no less!) and I have given away 20 copies of the book.

I suggest that if you are looking for your last good book then you have found your last author instead.

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62 people found this helpful

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  • E. McNair
  • 2017-02-12

Every time I think she's shown me at all…

I have read three of Brene Brown's other books before I read this one. I had no idea how much this one would change how I felt. In some ways I wish I had read this one first, but at the same time having already dabbled in her theories I was more familiar with what she was talking about. I will forever be changed from reading this book.

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47 people found this helpful

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  • Tracer McLeod
  • 2012-12-12

Required Reading for Humankind

Would you listen to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) again? Why?

I will most certainly listen again for the insight and information. But the narration should've been done by the author.

What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?

The story-like writing style

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

She did fine; I've just heard the author in interviews and I prefer the timbre of her voice.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Towards the end the author begins discussing her new research with men. While women seem to be caught in a web she finds that men are put in a box and punished when they try to escape. It reminded me of when my little brother started getting teased and bullied when he got too old (7 or 8 years old) not to stay in the box. Broke my heart again.

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40 people found this helpful

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  • Kari
  • 2011-11-06

Love the book, not the narrator

Brene Brown is brilliant and i LOVE this book. But having heard her speak, and knowing her drawl and cadences made the narration feel somewhat jarring. It would have been fabulous is Dr. Brown had done the narration, but really, when would she have had the time? That said, this is one of her most wonderful writings and I would highly recommend it!

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  • Client d'Amazon
  • 2020-09-30

Very educational

My life was changed for the better thanks to this book. Never did I think that I actually practiced those knee-jerk reactions of fight-fright-flee when exposed to my "shame triggers".
Thank you Brené for your dedication to the study of shame and for sharing the result.

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