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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
- Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Categories: Politics & Social Sciences, Social Sciences
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Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
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Authentic
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Publisher's Summary
The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can't seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, Never good enough! and What will people think?
Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance, we might think its because we admire perfection, but that's not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are real; we're drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.
There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what, and how were supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.
Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
As Dr. Brown writes, "We need our lives back. It's time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection - the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives."
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
What the critics say
More from the same
What listeners say about I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Barb
- 2021-02-17
Narrator so annoying!
Brene Brown, pleeeeeease narrate your audible books because you are so interesting to listen to.
15 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Kia
- 2018-12-09
This book is about shame
This book wasn’t at all what I expected. It’s completely about shame and women. It’s was okay, but no real new information here.
10 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- John Madjeruh
- 2020-06-19
Description flawed. Bad audio.
Shame is something all genders deal with, this book is written for a female audience using data generated from women and describes situations and viewpoints men would have difficulty appreciating. This should have been pointed out in the description.
The narrators "S" sounds are so annoying and pronounced that they sound like a whistle. Did they not use any audio editing at all? After several minutes it's sssSSSSO annoying I can't continue listening.
Content may be OK (the little that I could stand to hear).
Cannot recommend.
9 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 2018-05-01
INCREDIBLE
This book woke me up to so much about myself and what I've been going through in life. Shame is a tremendous feeling that both men and women experience and I now believed that change can happen when we come from a places of empathy, connection and compassion for ourselves and each other. Practice daily ordinary courage and you can start to walk out of the shame web/box.
I recommend this book to everyone!! A must listen/read.
8 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nano
- 2021-03-11
Missed the authenticity of the author’s voice
I thought this book was excellent, and yet it took me much longer to get through than most books. There was nothing wrong with the performance per se, although I only rated it three stars. I have had the pleasure of listening to several other of Brene Brown’s books, performed by the author herself. The personal experience and enthusiasm with which the author delivers her work, is simply missing for me in this book. Again, no disrespect to the performance by Lauren Fortgang, But sometimes I found myself zoning out because I missed that genuine enthusiasm that just cannot compare to a performance, when delivered by someone who is so intimately connected to her own personal research and topic. Because I have listened to several of Brown’s other books, delivered by the researcher/author herself, this was sadly missing for me. However I persevered and the book as usual was extremely well done. The only thing I felt that could be improved, was that on occasion, there was a run on of different comments, shared by various research participants, without alerting the listener to this. Perhaps if I had the physical book and saw a variety of different statements in quotations, it may have been easier to follow. Thus, at times, the clarity could have been improved. However, as usual, I loved Brown’s work and findings, shared as storytelling, which I am certain would be appealing to all who either read or listen to it.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Giguère Brigitte
- 2019-08-26
Life changing content
Took me a while to get used to the slightly robotic reader"s voice, compared to Brene"s.
Still recommend it to everyone.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Elle
- 2021-10-10
confusing narration
I really enjoyed the text in this title, but i found the narration very confusing as it was hard to follow.
The book is written in first person, from Brene Brown's experience, but then also uses many examples from others, also in first person.
the way these other first person bits were delivered was very confusing. it would jump from one first person story to another without anything breaking the two stories up, so you'd think it was the same person in the story. then it would jump back to Brene's story.
I hope they fix this in future books' audio version, so it's clear when the "I" changes. Ideally there would be another narrator for the other voices, or at least switch to third person POV.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Amy
- 2020-08-04
Deeper understanding of Shame
I found this book extremely helpful in understanding shame and working on shame resilience. It has made me more aware of my own shame, how I interact with others in their shame, showing empathy and compassion. I am hoping by my further knowledge in this topic I will be able to strengthen and grow not just within myself but my family as well.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 2022-04-03
Eye opener
this put so much into perspective for me. my heart hurts but having strategies to move forward in difficult situations makes me feel confident I can heal some issues
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- David Rhodes
- 2022-02-21
Great book for men and women dealing with shame
As a man who has experienced shame from my earliest memories, I found this book very helpful. While it is primarily written for women, men who are struggling with experiencing shame or anybody who would like to understand more about emotional triggers and response would benefit from this book. It is essential to understand how our actions and words will impact others in ways we do not understand. As men, we need to lead the next generation into a better future, not a repeat of our own failures and bad habits.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Dara Burwell
- 2016-03-13
Important points, anemic delivery
What was most disappointing about Brené Brown’s story?
This book makes a number of interesting and relevant points. Unfortunately it’s not a smooth read/listen – it is much longer and more repetitive than it needs to be. The book has the appearance of something that was adapted from a thesis, but wasn’t rearranged to be reader friendly. I think that Brown’s evaluation of shame vs. humiliation vs. embarrassment is very important. I just wish it had been more clearly conveyed.
Did Lauren Fortgang do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?
Fortgang did a good job narrating this book. She sounded compassionate and sincere, and conveyed the emotion that I think Brown intended.
Any additional comments?
I believe the book could have been streamlined. Sharpening the points and examples and making the book about half the length would have made it far stronger.
113 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- THoward
- 2015-02-24
The last book
Any additional comments?
I have a friend who is always saying he is looking for his last book, meaning something so good and powerful that searching for another perspective is not worth the time. I suggested I have found the last author, but not the last book. Brene Brown is moving, enlightening and so real. I have re-read her books several times. I feel like I was swallowed up as a broken soul and soothed until I could stand on my feet again. I'm not alone, I'm not perfect, I'm just me. I learned that practicing what I believe means loving myself and those around me for who they are, not what they are. Practicing each day means making my life fulfilling and happy. Practicing the art of loving without constraint, without parameters, without any restriction at all is what I want in my life. WOW! Incredible author.
I started with The Gifts of Imperfection. I listened 3 times (in a row no less!) and I have given away 20 copies of the book.
I suggest that if you are looking for your last good book then you have found your last author instead.
56 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Max:Wang
- 2017-07-29
Didn't think it was just women (but it is)
Didn't get any indication that this book was exclusively about women. The author is pretty much only talking about women's contexts and its often difficult to relate or even remember why I'm listening. The book itself is great, a lot of good information and good work in here but the title or subtitle should have said something about the book being specifically relevant for women.
61 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- E. McNair
- 2017-02-12
Every time I think she's shown me at all…
I have read three of Brene Brown's other books before I read this one. I had no idea how much this one would change how I felt. In some ways I wish I had read this one first, but at the same time having already dabbled in her theories I was more familiar with what she was talking about. I will forever be changed from reading this book.
44 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Sherry
- 2013-09-01
Missing Brene's own Vulnerability Voice
If you are one of the squillions who have watched Brene Brown on TedTalks or Oprah's Super Soul Sunday you may empathize with my review. I missed hearing the book narrated by Brene Brown herself. Lauren Fortgang's effort was not without merit, however after having been engaged by watching Brene then buying the books I missed her delivery of her own words.
The book itself was worth the investment, I've listened twice since purchasing.
217 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Leslie A Hill
- 2011-08-09
I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
I'm sure this book has a lot to offer to most women; unfortunately not so much for me. Most of the book focuses on motherhood and parenting.. I don't have children, so could not relate a good deal of the time and lost interest.
372 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Justyna
- 2017-01-02
Interesting but not for me
Definitely there were parts that I appreciated for being insightful and explaining things, soon the book became pretty boring and repetitive as it constantly circled around the issues of parenting and family.
I'm in my mid 20s, I'm still a student, and I have no interest in creating a family, let alone having children. A lot of the examples and discussions in the book simply weren't for me. I might re-visit it in 10-15 years when it becomes more relevant. That's really the only thing about this book that dissatisfied me, and of course that's a very subjective reason.
144 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Nanurala
- 2016-09-07
Such great material
I really enjoyed this book. The narrator was good however I prefer when read by Brene herself. There is so much helpful information in this book to help understand shame in our own lives and others. I will relisten to this book again soon because the material is so rich and I have so much to implement in my own life and work. Thanks Brene and support team!
14 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tracer McLeod
- 2012-12-12
Required Reading for Humankind
Would you listen to I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) again? Why?
I will most certainly listen again for the insight and information. But the narration should've been done by the author.
What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?
The story-like writing style
What do you think the narrator could have done better?
She did fine; I've just heard the author in interviews and I prefer the timbre of her voice.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Towards the end the author begins discussing her new research with men. While women seem to be caught in a web she finds that men are put in a box and punished when they try to escape. It reminded me of when my little brother started getting teased and bullied when he got too old (7 or 8 years old) not to stay in the box. Broke my heart again.
36 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Stacey
- 2012-07-23
Good self-help book; not well-suited for audio.
I thouroughly enjoyed Brené Brown's TED talks on vulnerability and shame; I had hoped that this book would be an expansion on those discussions by the author.
This book contains a lot of useful information and interesting anecdotes regarding overcoming shame, embracing reality, and having compassion for oneself and others. However, it is not written in a style that works well with audio. It contains many parts that I would just skim in a print book; it has reader exercises that would be more useful in a visual format; and there are parts that I would like to mark, think about, and come back to (not ealily done in this audio format).
A critique of the material is that it seems to focus primarily on women like Brown, herself: white, educated, mid-upper income, etc. Though there is a nod here and there to people who are not in those categories, it is pretty clear that this book does not do much to address the broader experience of people outside Brown's comfort zone. Then again, the audience that actually buys self-help books like this is primarily comprised of women, white, educated, mid-upper income, etc. (including me).
140 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Client d'Amazon
- 2020-09-30
Very educational
My life was changed for the better thanks to this book. Never did I think that I actually practiced those knee-jerk reactions of fight-fright-flee when exposed to my "shame triggers".
Thank you Brené for your dedication to the study of shame and for sharing the result.
