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  • I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

  • Essays
  • Written by: Tom Segura
  • Narrated by: Tom Segura
  • Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (874 ratings)

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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please cover art

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

Written by: Tom Segura
Narrated by: Tom Segura
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Publisher's Summary

From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.

Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.

In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.

I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have listeners laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2022 Tom Segura (P)2022 Grand Central Publishing

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What listeners say about I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

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  • Overall
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Always entertaining

Creative story telling and genuine delivery. Hearing Tom laugh as he retells his stories is a gift.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Love love loved this Audiobook

Tommy Bunz is my favourite person on planet Earth. Read this book! You will not regret it. Keep your jeans high and tight!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Fun listen

If you like Tom then you’ll love his book.. Good laughs and a few inside jokes.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Time flew by

Very enjoyable listen, made me smile and laugh. Felt like a buddy was speaking with you. Time flew by wish it was longer.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Outstanding! More please!

Tom is a great story teller - which anyone who has seen his stand up knows. This is the best reading of any audio book I have ever listened to, and I wish it were two or three times as long! I hope we get another tome someday.

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  • Ian
  • 2022-07-02

Nailed it

Just four strokes! This guy knows how to party and looks so much better then Burt Kreizler

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Now a bigger fan than ever.

I used to think I was Tom’s biggest fan, like I wanted to be inside him kind of fan, but now I want to filter my blood with his. Wow what a book.

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T buns!

So funny I must have looked R worded listening to it while doing yard work.

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Endearing and funny

We’ve all seen the Podcast and Standup versions of Tom, but it was nice to see his family side, especially when speaking about his mom and dad. Funny and touching. BIKES!

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A great listen for any comedy fan

This is a great listen. Lots of attention to detail in the performance, such as sound effects to mimic phone calls and in flight announcements. Very funny while also being insightful. Highly recommend!

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