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  • The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot

  • The Hitman's Guide 3
  • Written by: Alice Winters
  • Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
  • Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (33 ratings)

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The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot cover art

The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot

Written by: Alice Winters
Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
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Publisher's Summary

Leland 

Is a nice little wedding with Blow-up Randy and Jackson My Love too much to ask for? Clearly, because someone’s trying to kill one of us...again. Generally, this would be my thing and I would jump right in singing my murder song, but they want Jackson dead and I will do anything (and I mean anything) to keep him alive - including and not limited to: 10 Dobermans, bulletproof glass, and dragging Cassel in with the promise of more Jerebear. These people have no idea what they’ve done targeting the man I love because I’m coming after them. But when it feels like everything might be lost, I start to understand that I have a family now who will stand by my side and do everything they can to make sure we end this on our terms. 

Jackson 

When someone attacks me, it’s clear they want something from me. The issue is that I have no idea who they are or what they’re after. And if I don’t figure it out soon, I’m afraid Leland is going to smother me with his overprotectiveness (or put me in a bubble at the top of a tower). The issue is that time is ticking and with the price tag on my head, there’s no telling who is coming for me or when. Together, Leland and I have to decipher who is telling the truth in this game of life or death because I have plans to marry the man of my dreams, and no one is going to stop me - especially with Leland by my side. 

This book contains humor, action, romance, bad behavior on a golf course, sort of abducting a child who lacks kung fu power, enough car chases and shooting to make even Leland happy, and spontaneous singing.

©2020 Alice Winters (P)2021 Alice Winters

What listeners say about The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot

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  • Leo
  • 2021-02-10

A+

5 Blue Roses
Narrator Michael Ferraiuolo loosened those sleeves, rolled them up, and unbuckled my straight-jackets’ ties which held me in a state of stiff (not the good stiff kind, the cold almost dead kind) animated suspension. The worst audiobook slump, since the time old retired people, discovered tape recorders and decided to make audiobooks. He sat me up and fed me humor until I slightly flexed my neck and moved my chin up and down, confirming what he is doing feels right and he should continue. To prevent episodes of choking (again, not good choking, the choking where Heimlich maneuver is required) my medicinal humor was cut up into smaller pieces and mashed with romance and a deeper love for blow-up dolls (once more, not the good sex dolls, but the companionship they offer to good-hearted psycho killers. Michael is an expert when it comes to conveying ridiculous humor, he juggles it until it is the right temperature to swallow (uhmm, ok, let’s move on), he never rushes it and never bores you to death (Yes, this time it is a bad death and not the good little death, reached neither fast nor slow).

Behind all the good work Michael does, is Alice Winters. She writes really-really good stuff. Their symbiotic relationship creates awesome content to feed and free the Seymores like us. (like feed me, feed me Seymore, but also like freeing the drowning straight-jacket escapologist).

On a serious note, this was one hell of a series! From book one when Jacksons’pants got stuck while he jumped a fence and ended arse up, until the end, when Leland and Jackson got married, the author managed to keep me laughing while I connected on a deeper level with the characters. They are truly unforgettable individually and as a couple, I really hope to hear more from them. (It’s up to the author)

But, I will miss Leland and I will definitely re-listen to this series again and again.

Bring me a hanky, and wipe my nose, I am emotional and feel like crying, saying goodbye.

Thank you, for sharing your gifts, for cheering us up. (Best Author and Narrator team!)

Happiness is listening to your stuff!

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Not bad but not nearly as good as the first 2.

The story dragged in parts and wasn’t as humorous as books 1 and 2. I thought the wedding could have been played up more. Worth a credit? Maybe…

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Killer Narration

Michael Ferraiuolo kills this story with the best narration. It's a good story as well but the narration makes it!

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I'm so Happy!

I've been waiting for this to come out on audiobook!! I love Michael Ferraiuolo, his Leland is hilarious, I can't get enough! Both happy and sad to see their story come to an end. Only thing I'd say, I wish the epilogue was longer and took place further in the future.

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