Decision dread, analysis paralysis, and the fear of “messing it up” can keep you stuck on the couch while life moves on. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down how to make choices with more ease, treat “wrong” choices as data, and shift from scarcity (“there’s only one right path”) to abundance (“there’s another bus coming”). Expect gentle reframes, fast decision tools, and permission to experiment.

• There are almost no “wrong” choices—only feedback. A result you don’t like is information for your next step.
• Indecision is a decision. Choosing not to choose keeps you in anxiety; pick a direction and learn.
• What’s meant for you won’t pass you by. Missed chances circle back in new ways; rejection can be protection.
• Widen the timeline. Over five years, most choices matter far less than they feel in the moment.
• Abundance > scarcity. Assume more options, more chances, and more support are on their way.

• 30-Second “gut check”

1. Take 3 slow breaths.
2. Say Choice A out loud; notice your body’s micro-response (expand or shrink?).
3. Repeat for Choice B. Choose the one that feels more expansive—not necessarily easier.

• Two-way vs. one-way doors
• Most decisions are reversible (two-way). Act fast on those. Save careful deliberation for the few irreversible (one-way) choices.
• Set a decision deadline
• Define, “I’ll decide by Friday at 4pm.” Gather enough info, then commit.
• Regret test
• Ask: “Which option will I regret not trying?” Pick that.
• Premortem & 1st domino
• Imagine it went badly; list why; add safeguards. Then do the smallest first action (email, application, 10-min draft).
• Decision journal (one line!)
• “Today I chose X because Y; expected outcome Z.” Review monthly to learn your patterns.
• Micro-menu rule
• Overwhelmed by options? Narrow to two, choose, move. Practice on low-stakes stuff (meals, routes, outfits) to build the muscle.

Write:

Read it back and do that smallest step.

• “Rivers don’t run straight.” Meanders are how you move forward.
• “Opportunities are like buses; there’s another one coming.” Missing one doesn’t end the route.
• “Life is a big platter of delights.” Pick something; you can try the next dish later.
• “Rejection is protection.” Closed doors redirect you to your door.

• “There’s only one right choice.” → Abundance flip: “There are many good-enough choices.”
• “If I miss this, it’s over.” → Flip: “If it’s for me, it returns.”
• “I need 100% certainty.” → Flip: “80% clarity + action beats 100% later.”

• Feeling Like I’m Failing (pairs well with today’s topic)
• Contrast & Gratitude (how hard seasons clarify values)
• Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) – practical exercises for kinder self-talk

📧 Coaching or...

In this heart–forward episode, Andrew shares the shoulder injury that forced him to stop, sit still, and confront a lifelong belief that his worth equals his usefulness. Cat opens up about what it’s like to love a helper who suddenly needs help—and how “failing” often just means you’re in a season of healing, not a verdict on who you are.

Expect reframes, gentle tactics for the “I’m behind” spiral, and a reminder that asking for help is a gift you give other people, too.

• Worth ≠ productivity. North American culture often ties identity to output; this season invites you to uncouple the two.
• Asking for help is pro-connection, not weak. You let loved ones feel useful and deepen bonds when you receive.
• Reframe “failure” as a phase. Rest, rehab, and regrouping are progress—just a different speed.
• Contrast creates clarity. Hard seasons sharpen gratitude and reveal what really matters.
• Interrupt the spiral. When “I’m failing” hits, use a simple, external plan to change state (temperature, movement, environment).

• The 3-step spiral interrupter

1. Tend the body: pain meds/tea/ice or heat, shower, fresh air.
2. Change state: 30-minute recharge alone, short comedy clip, music, or a brisk walk.
3. Micro-plan: one tiny win (email, stretch, refill water), then reassess.

• Ask like a giver: “Could you help me with X?” → remember you’re offering someone the gift of helping.
• Reverse-compare: stop looking only ahead; look back at how far you’ve come.
• Temperature hack: cold pack to neck/face or warm shower to reset your nervous system.
• 10–10 List: write 10 things you did do today + 10 things you’re grateful for (including your body doing basics).
• Best-friend filter: Would you say that harsh thought to your favorite person? If not, rephrase it with kindness.

Write a note to yourself that starts:

• Feelings Wheel – pinpoint what you’re actually feeling to respond better.
• Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) – simple practices to treat yourself like a friend.
• Open Path Collective – affordable therapy options.
• The Wealthy Barber – a gentle, story-driven intro to money basics (ties into our recent money series).

📧 Questions or need a nudge? hello@fiveyearyou.com

🌐 More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

📸 Hang with us on IG: @fiveyearyou

• “Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re healing what needs care.”
• “Asking for help is a gift. You’re letting someone you love feel useful.”
• “You’re not behind; you’re in a different chapter.”
• “Look back for proof, not just forward for gaps.”

• Andrew: The unexpected closeness with his dad & being cared for by his people.
• Cat: A full, memorable summer with the kids—and the flexibility to be there for family (and for Andrew).

Ever feel like you're following a script you didn’t write? In this episode, Andrew and Catherine crack open the idea that many of the “rules” we live by—college, career, homeownership, timelines for success—are completely made up. Some rules serve a purpose (looking at you, traffic lights), but others just keep us stuck, stressed, or chasing lives that don’t fit who we are.

They talk candidly about the internal rules we adopt as children, the external expectations of adulthood, and how to start rewriting your story based on what you want—not what you were told you should want.

What You’ll Learn:

• What “The Rules Are Fake” really means
• Why the traditional path of school → job → house → retire may not be for everyone
• How to question whether a rule is helping you or holding you back
• Why homeownership and college aren't the only paths to stability or success
• How internal rules (like "I should have it all figured out by 40") create anxiety
• The power of rewriting your personal playbook and defining success on your own terms

Key Takeaways:

• Some rules are helpful; others are just habits. Pause and ask: Is this true for me?
• College and buying a house can be amazing—but they’re not mandatory.
• “Should” is often a red flag. If you hear yourself say “I should…”, dig deeper.
• Happiness doesn’t come after you follow the rules—it comes when you live from the inside out.
• It’s okay to walk a different path. In fact, it might be the best decision you ever make.

Your Glimmers of the Week:

Catherine finds joy in morning rainbows from crystal sun-catchers, and Andrew reflects on a meaningful trip to see Ben Platt live—with a reminder that you deserve beautiful experiences too.

🧭 Want to start living life by your own rules?

Visit FiveYearYou.com to book a mentoring call and begin your path to intentional living.