• Habit one: play big, stay small. Ep.3: Feeling powerful?

  • Nov 4 2023
  • Length: 10 mins
  • Podcast
Habit one: play big, stay small. Ep.3: Feeling powerful? cover art

Habit one: play big, stay small. Ep.3: Feeling powerful?

  • Summary

  • The part of our brain that detects human need—the “we-circuitry”—is fragile. Even a tiny dose of power causes it to short-circuit. In the psychology of power, sometimes power is subtraction by addition.This episode is about the unexpected science that regulates power, enabling us to erase irrelevance, unify the divided, and move the masses.You can get the first, full five chapters (PDF) of our new, upcoming book, I Am Gravity, plus a strengths and counterfeits fitness check, at https://schoolofgravity.com/. Just tap the purple button at the top of the home page.Learn more about the work we do and the elements of gravity at https://schoolofgravity.com/our-work. You can reach us at hello@schoolofgravity.com. Steven Titus Smith, coauthor of I Am Gravity, presented this episode. You can read more about the authors here.Here’s the episode transcript:If you failed project after project for six straight years, it may be time to quit. Or take a long, hard look in the mirror. Unless, of course, a mirror is the least helpful place to look for the answer. Ernesto Sirolli arrived in Africa at age 21 to help grow food near the Zambezi River as part of a team sent by an Italian non-government organization (NGO). The natives weren’t anxious to help. Instead of asking why the locals weren’t interested in agriculture, his team thought, “Thank God we’re here. Just in the nick of time to save the Zambian people from­ starvation!” After planting seeds and nurturing farms, the team watched the land produce magnificent produce, especially Italian tomatoes. And as soon as the tomatoes were ripe, a herd of hippos emerged from the river and devoured the crop. Bewildered, Sirolli asked the Zambians why they didn’t speak up before the hippos turned into harvesters. “You never asked.” Even good intentions may be the wrong intentions. Forty-one years later Sirolli delivered an impassioned TED talk in Christchurch, New Zealand describing his six years of failure despite long days and nights, noble intentions, and the mental shift that changed his fortunes: I decided when I was 27 years old to only respond to people, and I invented a system called Enterprise Facilitation, where you never initiate anything. You never motivate anybody, but you become a servant of the local passion, the servant of local people who have a dream to become better. So what do you do? You shut up. You never arrive in a community with any [preconceived] ideas, and you sit with the local people. And we become friends, and we find out what that person wants to do. Sirolli’s institute has since helped civic leaders start over 40,000 businesses in 300 communities across the world. Advising you to shut up and motivate no one may seem like the least inspiring way to start. Actually, it’s exactly what the science of inspiration begs us to believe.Nancy Duarte is a communication expert who cracked the code of inspiration after analyzing hundreds of talks dating back decades. The first line of that code has more to do with gravity than the magic of stepping on stage and working a crowd. She said, “Power springs from the presenter’s ability to make a deep human connection with others. Instead of connecting with others, presentations tend to be self-centered, which alienates audiences. Audience insights and resonance only occur when a presenter takes a stance of humility.” TED curator Chris Anderson lines up the sequence of inspiration in five steps: connection, narration, explanation, persuasion and revelation. The final four steps of Chris’s sequence hinge not on your words, your ideas, or your pursuit of the perfect presentation. They hinge on your connection to the audience. “You can only understand people,” wrote 1962 Nobel Prize winner John Steinbeck, “if you feel them in yourself.” Moving people hinges on your ability to sync with the way they think and feel what they feel. As empathy goes, that seems straightforward. And it is, kind of. Ironically, the first thing you get as a leader is the main thing that disconnects you from empathy—power. Everyone craves power. It feels a little self-centered and subversive to vocalize, but it’s true. At least its effects. The freedom that money can fund. The control a degree or job title grants. The credibility knowledge brings. Life improves when you have the power to control it.[1] So, crave away. Except that power has such a potent effect on your brain that if you so much as feel powerful, even a little, the neurological process for empathy—the key that unlocks inspiration—starts shutting down. “Smart” cells in your brain, called mirror neurons, fire when you experience an emotion like happiness, fear, or sadness. Those same mirror neurons also fire when you see someone else experiencing emotion. If someone is sad, those neurons let you experience sadness firsthand rather than just imagine it. It may not be the same sadness, but it’s close enough to ...
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