Podcast (Season 2, Episode 2) – Connecting with your lover - physically, emotionally and mentally 

Transcript:

Hello there! Today we're going to be speaking about mental, emotional and physical connections with our partners / lovers. The reason I find this so exciting and so important is it's really useful and empowering to organise what is being received and being given in a relationship, so that we can become conscious of what's coming into us, and what's coming out of us. And if there's anything that we want to change, we can then do it.

So I'm going to propose to organise the energetic interaction between you and your partner or your future partner in the following three categories.

Mental 
These are the ideas, the discussions, the decision making, that goes on between you.

Emotional
Emotional connection is about love. It's about feeling, it's about intimacy, it's about romance. It's about that feeling in the heart “Wow, I love you so much, I feel so much love from you”. And actually beyond the giving and receiving, it's when we fall in love with our partners. We are opening something within ourselves, which is our true nature. And sometimes it's hard to find, to discover, to celebrate, to reveal that love until we meet someone that just opens those doors. Somehow they have the key to just open our hearts. And when we do, when we open our heart to another person and we feel with them, it stimulates self-love, it stimulates love for everything; for oneself, for ‘other’, for the entire life process.

Physical 
And then we have physical and that's about primarily well-being. It's also about pleasure, ecstasy, orgasm, sexual. It's also about how to live together, resource allocation, boundaries. Okay, so as I say these things you may be thinking, Well, yeah, the mental - very good, emotional - sometimes difficult, physical - really working out here but not here.

So if you if you look at your relationship and become conscious of the mental, the emotional and the physical connection, you can start learning to master it at an even higher level. And then decide what is it that you wish to receive? And what is it that you wish to give? How do you like to be loved, heard, held, seen? What can you offer? And perhaps there's some bits that are missing in your relationship? And you can ask if this something that you need from the relationship? Or could you outsource it to another relationship? Now when I say that, I don't mean multiple sexual partners. I'm talking about maybe having more friends, having a guy's group, a girls group. Looking really honestly ‘what are your needs?’ And where are they being met. And if you feel like you don't deserve for them to be met, then exploring that. So that you can uncover where the shame around that need is. So that it can transform into something amazing. You know, then a relationship becomes not something difficult, or an annoying thing or a challenging thing, but actually something very beautiful. There are challenging moments but it's totally worthwhile. It becomes the very apex of life.
To have a best friend with benefits. You know, somebody who is your lover, your best friend, your soulmate, your mirror, your twin flame. I'm using poetic language but somebody you can trust [and] someone who's there for you. Someone who sits, sits with you side by side, as you eat your dinner. You're on the same team. You want what's best for each other. You love each other not because of what the other one's going to give you, but because of who they are, and the essence of who they are. Open something within yourself that brings you so much joy!

Presence 
And the last final piece, and I leave it for the end, ‘who is aware of the mental emo

Transcript: 

So today we're going to speak about love, loss and freedom. 

Love is about merging with another. Connecting with another. And that begins by being authentic, honest, radically honest, sharing all the positives. How somebody makes us feel, you know, the wanting ,the longing, the happiness, the joy, and also the fears, the sadness, the hopelessness, anything that we are feeling, we're honest and open. And then when we own that, our vulnerability ceases to be a weakness and starts to become a power. And when we do that, we unconsciously give our partner the permission to feel it to. And if we can be with whatever it is that we are with, and share it with another and they can be the same. That's what intimacy is. Intimacy is the ingredient to a successful relationship, to trust, to build a good foundation where you can rely and trust that the other person will be there, will be honest, will have the capacity to meet you physically, emotionally, mentally and beyond. So the first step is love. 

Then the next is loss. Now there are those who say, well, once you merge with consciousness loss doesn't exist, where we're never really separated, we're all one, we're all one, we're all one. This is a misconception, or it's a half truth. At our very essence, at the core of who we are, we are one. And if we've done the inner work, and we've uncovered and reveal the essence of who we are beyond everything that defines us as a person, we can rest in the abode of presence, and be and simply be, and that beingness is love. So in that dimension, there's no such thing as separation. But within the dimension of physicality, emotion, mental, and all the things that make us unique, and apart, that happens, there is such a thing as separation. And that's why we have grief. That's why we have the fear of loss. When partners die, or leave, the fear of separation is incredibly real. 

And the only thing, in my experience, that can help us manage this very difficult phase, the fear of abandonment, of being alone after having such a sweet connection [is being present]. You know, whether it's physical connection through sex and pleasure, emotional connection through love, mental [connection] through through joy and a freedom of connecting on a mental level, and then beyond, spiritually, energetically to have that communion, at the deepest level, where you're where you're feeling like you're met, at the deepest level in like a like a mirror, or a twin flame. So whatever that merger or connection is, the separation bit, the last bit, is inevitable. And only when we can really step in, to accepting that separation is a part of life and work through loss. Embrace loss, embrace grief, feel abandonment, feel inadequacy and then come through to the other side. Only then do we experience freedom. 

And this freedom is the capacity to feel all things.  To be in love. And then to feel the space, the separation and the loss and the pain. To be both with the joy and the sadness. It's like two wings on a bird. And you become, or in fact you already are, the singularity. The stillness, the silence that can hold both wings. Bittersweet thorns on roses. So freedom gives the ability, the capacity to be bold enough to experience more of reality, the highs and the lows and remain stable. So that we can weave in and out of each other's lives in a healthy way. And it's so worth it. And to me, it is the greatest joy of life, to connect to disconnect while being rooted in our being. 

I hope this serves you and if you have any questions, of course, do let me know.