Showing results for "patrick" in Humorous

Struggling actress Esther Diamond, whose year got off to a rough start (what with incarceration, unemployment, and mystical death curses), finally catches a break when she lands an acting job. She's hired to reprise her guest role as prostitute Jilly C-Note on The Dirty Thirty, a TV crime drama about depravity and corruption in the New York Police Department. Esther's ex-sometime boyfriend, NYPD's Detective Connor Lopez, hates that show with undying passion - especially after Esther convinces her narcissistic co-star to shadow Lopez on the job....

Vampires don't exist, do they? That is a question Private Detective Tony Mandolin finds himself pondering as the evidence piles up in a case involving a string of dead redheads and the usual dose of weirdness San Francisco has to offer. To complicate things, Mandolin has to deal with the perception that he has become the latest golden boy of the fog city's crime boss. Then there's his cross-dressing friend Frankie.... Just another day in San Francisco.

Warlock Holmes may have demons in his head, but now Dr. John Watson has a mummy in his bloodstream. Specifically that of the sorcerer Xantharaxes, who when shredded and dissolved in an 8 percent solution, results in some extremely odd but useful prophetic dreams. There's also the small matter of Watson falling for yet another damsel-du-jour, and Warlock deciding that his companion needs some domestic bliss....

The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.

Someone is poisoning San Francisco's foodies. Tony Mandolin, the fog city's only Private Eye with a view into the supernatural, has been retained to find out whom and why. Unfortunately this brings him to the attention of Medb, the Queen of the Unseelie Court and it seems that Tony's only hope of survival lies in the hands of Landau Bain, the alcoholic wizard, and Bain is cranky.

If you think it’s hard being a hobgoblin or a human, try living a goblin’s life for a while. In fact, try imagining what it’s like to be the runtiest goblin in the caves, the lone worshiper of a god who’s been forgotten for a good reason, and the target everyone points to at the first hint of trouble. Try picturing yourself as Jig Dragonslayer, and see how you like it....

A pantheon of forgotten gods. An old grudge between a talk show host, an heiress, and the man they shattered along the way. A rapidly deteriorating AI system. An inconvenient tiara upon the head of a friend.

Mack Sutton is a normal guy who just happens to attend a very abnormal school. In a college where the pretty girls can kill you with a whisper and most of the guys can bench press a car, Mack and his sister Jetta are just run of the mill people—or are they?

Billy the Barbarian is an Isekai adventure story about a normal man from our Earth whose destiny changes when he gets snatched up by the gods of a magical world. He then wakes up to find himself in a strange, cruel land known as Thune to the locals. It turns out the gods of Thune have pretty big plans for Billy, and before he knows it he's swept up into an adventure the likes of which you've never seen before.

As they blunder towards doom, Warlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson find themselves inconvenienced by a variety of eldritch beings. Christmas brings a goose that doesn't let being cooked slow it down; they meet an electricity demon, discover why being a redhead is even trickier than one might imagine, and Holmes attempts an Irish accent. And, naturally, Moriarty is hanging around...in some form or other.

The famous duo has been split! Watson has been banished from Holmes's company. Despite the interference of his horrible wife, Mary, Watson tirelessly insinuates himself into every magical adventure he can. Together, he and Holmes face a man with a twisted...everything, some very questionable juice-drinking Germans, Garrideb the Devourer and the estimable Irene Adler. Yet, nothing can prepare them for Moriarty's new form and the terrible moment they must face their Finality Problem at the edge of the Reichenbach Falls.

Chuck never thought too deeply about whether aliens existed - not until Jopp, an intergalactic transport pilot, drunkenly crashed on Earth and tried to steal his truck. Now Chuck finds himself unwittingly roped into helping Jopp work off a debt to the universe's most powerful corporation, the Prime Partners Intergalactic Consortium. Through a series of mishaps and misfortune, the duo find themselves in possession of a mysterious black case. In order to survive, they must fend off murderous marauders, an interplanetary police force, and a peculiar crime boss.

Okay, so arriving in a strange new land wasn't the worst thing to happen. That doesn't mean I get to sit around and do nothing. While I'd kill to be able to relax one day, that's not what fate has in store for me as I protect my family and keep my word.

A blood-thirsty being is on the rise, resurrecting Old West outlaws. But who is this El Diablo? All evidence points to an eccentric billionaire whose estate lies just outside our jurisdictional reach. Worse, an old-school sheriff seems determined to keep it that way. As menaces teeter into full-blown madness, I’m counting on James to ramp up his smarts and spell-casting. Success will mean the end of the Croft and Wesson era, but failure could condemn all of Grimstone to a hellish oblivion.

With possible wars on the horizon, I've got to find a spot for my family, secure my borders, and prepare to keep them safe. Oh, and I need to free a goddess, because I said I would. Maybe, just maybe, if everything goes right, I'll be able to kick back and enjoy the rewards of keeping my word.

Seit Jahrhunderten gilt das Siegel der Bocca di Capretto als verschollen. Als die Vampirin Julie Barks den Auftrag erhält nach dem Artefakt zu suchen, wird Ben Richards brutal entführt, um sie zu erpressen. Gemeinsam mit dem Magier Rick und dem Dämon Gordon gerät sie dabei zwischen die Fronten erbarmungsloser Gegner. Um ihren Freund zu retten, führt der einzige Weg in eine gefährliche Höllendimension. Die gnadenlose Jagd nach dem Siegel beginnt.

Conrad Brent protects the people of Brooklyn from monsters and magical threats. The snarky, wisecracking guardian also has a dangerous secret: He’s one in a million—literally. Magical ability comes to about one in every 30,000 and can manifest at any age. Conrad is rarer than this, however. He’s a middling, one of the half-gifted and totally despised. Most of the gifted community feels that middlings should be instantly killed. The few who don’t flat out hate them still aren’t excited to be around middlings.

Alistair ist tot. Als wäre das nicht bereits ärgerlich genug, scheint er von der ewigen Ruhe aber noch weit entfernt zu sein, denn das Jenseits stellt ihn vor eine folgenschwere Entscheidung: Leben in der Verdammnis oder der Job als Tod höchstpersönlich.