Showing results by narrator "Jared Goldsmith" in All Categories

Disaster reigns when A.J. participates in the school's holiday pageant celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

With over one million copies of his books in print, New York Times best-selling author Dan Gutman is a hit with young readers thanks to his energetic stories tinged with uproarious humor. Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! introduces Ella Mentry Elementary School's zany bus driver. Mrs. Kormel has been driving everyone crazy lately, and it's up to AJ and his buddies to figure out why.

A.J. thinks that nothing can possibly be as boring as a sleepover in the natural history museum. However, anything can happen when Ms. Krup is in charge. She says the dinosaur skeletons come to life in the middle of the night. Is she right?

Something weird is going on! Miss Suki is a famous children's book author - and she's coming to A.J.'s school! She lives in the rainforest and writes about endangered animals. But when her pet raptor gets loose in the classroom, it's the kids who are going to be endangered! Yikes!

Dan Gutman’s critically acclaimed children’s books have won numerous accolades, including the Booklist Editor’s Choice. In this seventh hilarious book in Gutman’s My Weird School series, A.J. still hates school, but he’s developed a giant crush on the school nurse, Mrs. Cooney. Unfortunately, a couple of A.J.’s classmates also like Mrs. Cooney - plus, she’s married. And then things get even more confusing when A.J. begins to think his crush might be an international spy.

Valentines Day is just around the corner, and Mr. Louie, the hippie crossing guard, wants everyone to fall in love. So he puts a secret love potion in the water fountain. Will A.J. have to kiss Andrea?

Prolific and popular author Dan Gutman launches a fun new series with this tale about second-grader A.J. and the unusual school he attends. On the first day of class, A.J. tells Miss Daisy he loves football and video games but hates school. Then Miss Daisy tells him she hates school, too, and the students think their teacher just might be an impostor.

Something weird is going on! A.J. and his friends are afraid that Ms. Todd, their substitute teacher, has killed their regular teacher and is trying to take over her job. They’re going to have to do the detective work to get the goods on her. But it won’t be easy! Ms. Todd is the weirdest substitute teacher in the history of the world!

Something weird is going on! Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

Forget Thanksgiving. The biggest turkey of all is running around Ella Mentry School - Dr. Carbles, the president of the school board. He is grumpier than ever and wants to fire Mr. Klutz. Will A.J. and his friends be able to save their principals job?

Miss Small, the gym teacher, is teaching A.J., Andrea, and the gang to juggle scarves, balance feathers, and do the Chicken Dance! Is this any way to stay in shape? Whatever happened to good old dodgeball? In fact, all the grown-ups at A.J.'s school seem to have something wrong with them. What's going on here? What are A.J. and the kids in his class going to do? They've got to convince Miss Small to act her age before the end of the year! Never before has school been this mixed up -- or this much fun.

Mr. Macky dresses up as Abraham Lincoln to get the students at Ella Mentry School excited about their Presidents' Day oral reports.

A.J. and the other students at Ella Mentry School brave trick-or-treating at the school secretary's house, even though it is supposedly haunted. Mrs. Patty, the secretary, gives out the best Halloween candy in the history of the world! But her house is haunted! People say she's a witch and her husband is a ghost. Is it worth A.J.'s risking his life for the best candy ever?

What could be weirder than a mad science teacher who invents a car that runs on potatoes and wants to take over the world? How about a bus driver who can't even "find" the weirdest school on the planet?

Kid favorite Dan Gutman returns with another installment of the beloved My Weird School series. At Ella Mentry school, the grown-ups are all a little weird in their own unique ways. The sixth installment introduces Mr. Hynde, the substitute music teacher, who thinks he's a rock-and-roll star - and he even shows up on TV!

It's Poetry Month and Ms. Coco, who runs the gifted and talented program, is poetry crazy! She cries when she sees a sunset! She thinks boys should have feelings! She talks in rhyme! All the time! Will A.J.'s life ever be normal again?

Behold! You are all about to be witnesses to greatness. In this fourth volume of Timmy Failure's memoirs, Timmy is forced to hit the road in a cross-country trip that includes Timmy's mom, Total the polar bear, Doorman Dave, and smells-like-a-tangerine criminal mastermind Molly Moskins. It's a world gone mad, where good becomes bad, and Timmy Failure is a condemned man. Someone call the authorities....

The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.

Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director. What’s more, my father is in town, working at a bar, which is obviously just a cover for our father-son crime-fighting partnership. And my dimwitted polar bear business partner, Total, wants to be reunited with his family.

Something weird is going on! Ms. LaGrange talks funny and she's from some other country called France! She thinks the vomitorium is a fancy restaurant! She grows her own food right out of the ground! Yuck! Plus, she's writing secret messages in the mashed potatoes!