Humorous

Arwyn has just purchased Fantasia: Fantasy Life, an immersive virtual-reality game that allows sleeping players to dive into a world of sword and sorcery with 99% realism. In Fantasia, Arwyn is Fey E’lan, a moon elf of the magical Elvenwood, whose unorthodox approach to gameplay—from befriending local monsters to putting a bag of holding inside a bag of holding—leads to a variety of unusual adventures and hilarious mishaps.

Seven days ago, I was just Talia—an art school dropout with an affinity for tattoos, a hopeless crush on my boss, and a knack for finding trouble. Now, I’m a gold-blooded, magic-harnessing, Runemaster in training. The good news is all of that has resulted in one hell of a promotion. Instead of sweeping floors, I’m sweeping swarms of venomous squatters out of castles.

Socks—wear (where) do they go? The age old question has finally been answered. A cast of warm-hearted socks, Suzy, Holee, and a friendly flashlight named Fred, embark on a journey to get lost sock Russell back home before his big soccer game.

Hercules Leek is cycling to work when he is crushed under the wheels of a turning lorry. As an aetheistic agnostic, it is something of a surprise that he should then find himself in Heaven. The forgiving nature of the Creator means that most souls make the upwards journey, so Heaven is a busy place.

Brian, an aimless slacker, works doubles at his shift job, forgets to clean his room and lays about with his friends Nik and Darby. He's been struggling to manage his transition to adulthood almost as much as his monthly transitions to a werewolf. Really, he is not great at the whole werewolf thing, and his recent murderous slip-ups have caught the attention of Tyler, a Millennial were-mentor determined to take the mythological world by storm.

Jezebel and the elf guilds have been defeated. The elven goddess now resides in the Wolf King's lair, along with Daxas and the others. However, her attempts to destroy Daxas' dungeon and steal all the soul energy he had collected over time has not been without consequence.

All she wanted to do was live her life in peace—maybe get a cat, expand the family spice farm. Really, anything that didn't involve going on an adventure where an orc might rip her face off. But they say the Goddess has favorite, and if so, Cin is clearly not one of them... After saving the demon Fallon in a wine-drunk stupor, all Fallon wants to do is kill an evil witch enslaving his people. And, who can blame him? But he's dragging Cinnamon along for the ride. On the bright side, at least he keeps burning off his shirt.

Insurrection is in the air in the city of Ankh-Morpork. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again. Captain Sam Vimes of the city's ramshackle Night Watch is used to this. It's enough to drive a man to drink. Well, to drink more. But this time, something is different - the Have-Nots have found the key to a dormant, lethal weapon that even they don't fully understand and they're about to unleash a campaign of terror on the city. Time for Captain Vimes to sober up.

The City Watch needs men! But what it's got includes Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-Constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-Constable Detritus (a troll), Lance-Constable Angua (a woman...most of the time) and Corporal Nobbs (disqualified from the human race for shoving). And they need all the help they can get, because someone in Ankh-Morpork has been getting dangerous ideas - about crowns and legendary swords and destiny.

Anyone else ever thrown a drink at someone's head, only to miss entirely and hit a stranger behind them? Then have that stranger fall madly in love with you because it turned out that drink you threw was a love potion? No, just me? Well damn. Dealing with a pirate ship full of demons that just moved into town was hard enough. Now on top of it, I have to convince a werewolf that I'm not his fated mate, he's just drugged. Easier said than done.

They say that diplomacy is a gentle art. That mastering it is a lifetime's work. But you do need a certain inclination in that direction. It's not something you can just pick up on the job. A few days ago Sam Vimes was a copper - an important copper, true - chief of police - but still, at his core, a policeman. But today he is an ambassador - to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald. Today, Sam Vimes is also a man on the run. At some point during his ambassadorship, things went very wrong. It's snowing. It's freezing.

For Commander Vimes, Head of Ankh-Morpork City Watch, life consists of troubling times, linked together by...well, more troubling times. Right now, it's the latter. There's a werewolf with pre-lunar tension in the city and a dwarf with attitude and a golem who's begun to think for itself, but that's just ordinary trouble. The real problem is more puzzling - people are being murdered, but there's no trace of anything alive having been at the crime scene.

For a policeman, there can be few things worse than a serial killer loose in your city. Except, perhaps, a serial killer who targets coppers, and a city on the brink of bloody revolution. For Commander Sam Vimes, it all feels horribly familiar. Caught on the roof of a very magical building during a storm, he's found himself back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard, especially when your time travel companion is a serial killer who knows where you live.

Koom Valley, the ancient battle where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls, was a long time ago. But if he doesn't solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse. Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies - and an ancient crime more terrible than murder. He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches; and out of his mind. But never out of guile. Where there is a crime there must be a punishment.