Dicholas Chad Pansy

If you’ve ever found yourself in a conversation thinking, “I have no idea what I’m talking about”—this book is your salvation.

WARNING: This is NOT a book for decisive people. If you know what you want in life and confidently make choices without having a full-blown existential meltdown, please move along.

Are you tired of thinking until your brain hurts? Sick of caring about every little disaster life throws at you? Done with the “personal growth” scam that just leaves you broke and eating kale?

Congratulations! You’ve found yet another self-help book that you’ll skim through, feel briefly inspired by, and then completely ignore while continuing to make the same bad decisions.

"Therapy is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself" is the ultimate self-help book for people who have absolutely no intention of helping themselves.

Whether you’ve been ghosted, have done the ghosting, or just love chaotic dating disasters, this book is your hilarious, deeply unhinged guide to modern romance at its absolute worst.

ATTENTION PERFECTIONISTS: If you’ve ever rewritten an email 14 times, physically cringed at a typo, or spent an hour debating whether to sign off with "Best" or "Sincerely"—this book is your personal attack.

Are you tired of people being happy around you? Do you dream of a world where no one dares to enjoy life in your presence? Congratulations! You’ve just found the ultimate guide to turning every interaction into an awkward, joyless nightmare.

Did I just embarrass myself? (Probably, but let’s obsess over it for 12 hours.) Welcome to the official handbook for people who replay every conversation they've ever had like it's a humiliating movie they didn’t consent to star in.

Are you one minor inconvenience away from a full-blown existential crisis? Do you regularly Google how to do your own job while hoping nobody notices? Ever sat in a meeting nodding thoughtfully while having no clue what’s happening? Congratulations!

Packed with toxic affirmations, unnecessary rants, and advice so bad it circles back to genius, Ruin Your Life Now is like a car crash you can’t stop watching—except the car is your life and you’re the one behind the wheel, blindfolded.

Are you tired of being emotionally stable? Do you wish you could turn every minor interaction into a full-blown existential crisis? Look no further than Maybe I'm the Problem? – the ultimate guide to professional self-gaslighting and strategic overthinking.

This is not a self-help book. This is a self-detachment book. If you’re ready to become an unshakable force of calm indifference, to stop letting life stress you out, and to fully embrace the Stoic art of not giving a single damn, this is the book for you.

ATTENTION, WALKING RED FLAG: Do you panic when someone texts, “I miss you”? Have you ghosted someone while still liking all their Instagram posts? Does the idea of an actual healthy relationship make you want to jump out of a moving vehicle? CONGRATULATIONS. YOU MAY BE ENTIRELY INCAPABLE OF LOVE.

From the chaotically overwhelmed mind of bestselling author Dicholas Chad Pansy comes the first-ever survival guide for empaths who have absolutely no idea how to stop absorbing other people’s problems like an unpaid emotional support sponge.

A Survival Guide to Loving Someone Who Is Always Filming, and ... Fully Present (Hope You Like Ring Lights and Emotional Damage) Warning: Your relationship is now public property. You thought dating was hard before? Try dating someone who live-streams their coffee order, documents every minor...

Life is exhausting. People expect enthusiasm, deep emotional connections, and basic human engagement. Annoying. But guess what? You don’t actually have to care—you just have to look like you do.

Congratulations! You’ve matched with a Tech Bro. Maybe he built a “disruptive” app that nobody asked for. Maybe he describes himself as an “entrepreneur” but lives with four roommates. Maybe he just pitched you a startup idea during your first date.

From the deeply unqualified mind behind every bad decision you’ve ever made comes "What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)," a deeply unhelpful guide to overanalyzing your entire existence, making terrible impulse purchases, and aggressively avoiding reality.

This is not a self-help book. This is a validation of your deeply chaotic existence—a hilarious, biting, and painfully relatable deep dive into the spirals, overthinking, and worst-case-scenario fantasies that come with having a brain that refuses to chill.