How Trauma-Informed Tech Is Transforming Abuse & Harassment Reporting | Mary Lobson, REES Founder

What if reporting sexual violence, domestic abuse, harassment, or discrimination felt safe, clear, confidential, and survivor-centered?

In this episode of 1 in 3, Ingrid sits down with Mary Lobson, founder of REES (Respect, Educate, Empower Survivors), to explore how trauma-informed technology is reshaping reporting systems across college campuses, sports organizations, live music events, workplaces, and community spaces.

Mary shares her journey from frontline domestic violence advocacy to building a privacy-first, trauma-informed reporting platform trusted across North America. We break down what survivor-centered design really means in practice, including:

✅ Encrypted records even the platform can’t access
✅ Plain-language safety and data practices
✅ Ability to document once and decide later how or when to share
✅ Anonymous reporting with secure two-way communication
✅ Repeat perpetrator identification to help prevent continued harm
✅ Tools that reduce the trauma of retelling while identifying trends, red flags, and campus red-zone risk periods

Mary explains how REES empowers survivors without pressure, protects privacy and due process, and gives institutions clear, actionable insights to stop abuse, prevent retaliation, and build safer culture.

We also explore real-world implementations — from festivals replacing “info@” inboxes, to national sports programs addressing bullying and harassment, to tech companies building safety into workplace culture by design.

If you’re a survivor, advocate, administrator, HR leader, Title IX coordinator, campus safety professional, or anyone committed to ending interpersonal violence, this episode offers:

✨ Trauma-informed reporting strategies
✨ Actionable prevention models
✨ Survivor-support language and best practices
✨ Technology frameworks that protect safety, consent, and agency

If this conversation resonates, please subscribe, share, and leave a review — your support helps more people discover tools to build safer communities where we live, learn, work, and play.

Mary's Links:

https://www.reescommunity.com/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Some stories don’t just deserve to be heard—they demand change. In this powerful episode of 1 in 3 Podcast, Morgan Scafe joins host Ingrid Dutton to share her harrowing story of child sexual abuse that began at age eight and continued until fifteen. She reveals how a courtroom turned her truth into a test—forcing her to relive trauma while sitting just feet from her abuser.

Together, we examine how statutes of limitations erased most of her abuse from trial and why Morgan wrote Carpenter Road: The Inadmissible Years—a prequel that exposes the grooming process and violent control tactics that adults and schools overlooked. This conversation dives deep into generational trauma, alcohol misuse, and the many missed red flags—plummeting grades, chronic absences, unexplained bruises, and emotional outbursts—that should have triggered mandated reporting.

Morgan offers a firsthand look at what trauma-informed justice should be: options for remote testimony, jury education on memory and stress, and legal teams trained to avoid re-victimization. The throughline is clear—prevention. Teaching “good touch, bad touch” isn’t enough. Children need age-appropriate education on grooming, including how abusers use gifts, secrets, isolation, and trust to gain control.

We also explore practical steps for parents, teachers, and communities to recognize early warning signs and make intervention the norm—not the exception. Morgan’s story is both a warning and a guidepost for how we can do better.

This episode closes with a message every survivor needs to hear: shame must change sides. Healing is possible. Therapy helps. And your voice isn’t just valid—it’s vital.

💜 If this conversation moved you:
Subscribe to 1 in 3 Podcast, share it with someone who cares about child safety and abuse prevention, and leave a thoughtful review to help others find it. Your support amplifies survivor voices and fuels change toward trauma-informed justice.

Morgan’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/morgan-scafe-1/

https://morganscafe.net/

https://www.facebook.com/carpenterroadscafe

https://www.amazon.com/CARPENTER-ROAD-SENTENCED-MORGAN-SCAFE/dp/B0BW2LXP2N/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

In this episode of 1 in 3 Dean shares the true story of helping his daughter escape domestic violence during a winter storm. A father’s gut feeling, a knock that wouldn’t stop, and a rescue that changed two lives. Dean walks us through the night he drove to a remote cabin and helped his daughter leave an abusive relationship—and the lessons every parent, partner, and friend should know about supporting someone in danger safely.

We talk about how early charm becomes control, how gaslighting distorts reality, and why leaving takes multiple attempts. Dean explains what helped most: staying calm, refusing to engage the abuser, and meeting disclosure with compassion instead of blame.

In the aftermath came healing from trauma—therapy, medication, rebuilding trust—and an unexpected new purpose. A nurse turned mentor, Dean now helps men who seem successful on the outside but feel stuck inside. Together we explore men’s mental health, defining values, and building a life of meaning.

If you’re seeking insight into domestic violence recovery, family support, or finding purpose after trauma, this episode offers hope and actionable guidance. Subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more people find stories that save lives.

Dean’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/dean-taylor/

https://deantaylorofficial.com/

https://www.instagram.com/deantaylorofficial/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

In this episode of 1 in 3, child psychologist Dr. Royster joins Ingrid to unpack how to protect children’s mental health in high-conflict co-parenting and post-separation abuse situations. A calm home, a steady voice, and the right words at the right time can change a child’s life—even when a co-parent thrives on chaos.

Dr. Royster breaks down the three main co-parenting models—collaborative, nesting, and parallel parenting—and explains when each approach fits. If your ex uses control, blame, or litigation as leverage, you’ll learn why parallel parenting may be the safest path and how to apply it without escalating conflict. She also shares practical scripts for debriefing after exchanges, helping parents validate feelings, reduce anxiety, and protect their children from emotional harm.

We get specific about documentation that holds up in court—tracking patterns, transitions, and measurable effects on your child instead of drowning in daily notes. Dr. Royster outlines when to seek trauma-informed therapy—for signs like chronic anxiety, extended sadness, or regression—and how to find a therapist who understands domestic violence dynamics and high-conflict divorce.

When therapy access is blocked, she offers backup options like coaching, group support, and tools for managing tech conflicts, recorded calls, and inconsistent rules between homes. The message is hope and agency: one attuned, consistent parent can be a powerful buffer against instability and manipulation.

If this episode helps, subscribe, rate, and share so more families facing post-separation abuse can find clear, compassionate guidance. Tell us the next question you want a child psychologist to answer on 1 in 3.

Dr. Royster’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/dr-karalynn-royster/

https://learnwithlittlehouse.com/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kids-first-co-parenting-with-dr-royster/id1828016840

https://www.instagram.com/learnwithlittlehouse/

https://www.youtube.com/@learnwithlittlehouse

https://www.tiktok.com/@learnwithlittlehouse

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

A woman is “found dead.” The headline ends there, but the story doesn’t—and neither does our responsibility. Ingrid sits with Vanessa and Yaneth to honor Lizzbeth by name, define femicide without euphemism, and follow the thread from a family’s search to a community’s demand for change. What emerges is both deeply personal and relentlessly systemic: a town that looked away, a police response that lagged, and a courtroom outcome negotiated on the killer’s terms.

Vanessa, founder of Vivan Las Autonomas, explains how a small group of young immigrant women stepped into the vacuum—pressuring investigators, guiding a family through pre-trial and trial twists, and partnering with media to cover Lizzbeth as a whole person, not a headline. We talk about why survivors often look “emotional” while abusers appear “credible,” how passive language like “woman found dead” erases intent, and why undercounted data distorts policy. The result is a cycle where agencies tally cases, police move on, and the public accepts femicide as an isolated tragedy rather than a pattern we can interrupt.

We go deeper into plea deals, the narrowness of legal charges, and what “justice” feels like when key harms—tampering with evidence, the presence of a child, the brutality of disposal—don’t show up on the charging sheet. Then we widen the lens to prevention: treating femicide as a public health crisis, funding multilingual rapid response, building cross-agency protocols for missing women, and using art and data together to change hearts, habits, and budgets. Vanessa shares details of an upcoming Connecticut femicide site that memorializes victims, tracks cases, and gives communities leverage with lawmakers.

Lizzbeth was a mother, a sister, and a bright, funny presence who deserved safety—and a system ready to act. If you’re ready to move beyond thoughts and prayers to concrete action, listen, share, and join the work. Subscribe for more stories, leave a review to boost visibility, and tell us: what would real accountability look like where you live?

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

A late-night knock. A daughter’s 911 call. A small town that knew Teresa for her bright laugh and steady hands in the delivery room now grieving the loss of a nurse who made people feel safe at their most vulnerable. Devyn joins Ingrid to share how her world changed at 14 when her stepfather returned after a divorce and pulled a trigger—and how she turned unimaginable trauma into a fierce commitment to protect others.

We walk through the details most people never hear: how abuse can hide behind “aloof” behavior and high-functioning alcoholism, why separation can be the most dangerous moment, and how grief rewires the senses so even the smell of morning coffee can carry the weight of gunpowder. Devyn talks openly about panic, nightmares, self-harm, medication, and the long, imperfect work of therapy. She also shows what action looks like: a decade of community runs funding the local domestic violence shelter, volunteering on the intake desk in college, and speaking publicly so silence doesn’t shield abusers. Along the way, she honors Teresa’s legacy—the nurse whose smile lit up rooms—and reflects on becoming a mother without her mom, rebuilding trust in herself by asking for help, and teaching her daughter that real strength welcomes support.

This is a story about domestic violence, yes, but also about agency, resilience, and the practical steps that save lives: believing survivors, safety planning, investing in shelters, and learning the signs before they escalate. If you’ve ever wondered how to help, or needed someone to say “don’t give up on yourself,” this conversation is a hand on your shoulder and a path forward. If it moves you, share it with someone who needs courage today, subscribe for more survivor-led conversations, and leave a review to help others find these stories. Your support helps this community reach the people who need it most.

Devyn’s 1in3 profile: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/devyn-oneill/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

The stories behind domestic violence aren’t linear, and neither are the systems that respond to them. Ingrid sits down with Captain Eric Threlkeld—law enforcement leader, former UN police trainer, and domestic violence specialist—to unpack what actually saves lives: better first responses, stronger multidisciplinary teams, and real training on non‑fatal strangulation that too often gets missed in the ER and on the street. The conversation moves from hard data to practical tools, connecting the dots between domestic violence, mass shooting patterns, and the day‑to‑day decisions that shape safety for survivors, children, and officers.

Eric explains why basic academy instruction falls short for complex DV cases and how the first minutes at a scene can set a case up for success or failure. We get into the details of trauma‑informed interviewing—letting victims speak without forcing chronology, recording thoroughly, and circling back for clarity—and why separating parties, identifying every witness, and routing children to forensic interviews protects both truth and trust. He walks us through the red flags that matter most: prior strangulation, access to weapons, threats of suicide, and substance use, drawing on proven tools like the Maryland Lethality Assessment Program and Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell’s Danger Assessment. We also tackle the difficult terrain of officer‑involved domestic violence, from bringing in outside investigators to temporarily removing firearms and maintaining transparency to keep victims safe.

Healthcare joins the picture with an urgent call: recognize non‑fatal strangulation even when bruises are absent. We talk practical diagnostics, language victims might use (“choked,” “arm around my neck,” “blacked out”), and how simple, shared checklists help clinicians order the right imaging and document internal injuries before they turn deadly. Throughout, Eric underscores how multidisciplinary response teams—prosecutors, judges, police, advocates, probation, and medical staff—cut recidivism and keep cases from falling through the cracks, even when formal funding dries up.

If you care about safer communities and survivor‑centered justice, this conversation offers concrete steps you can use today—whether you’re in law enforcement, healthcare, advocacy, or a concerned neighbor. Subscribe for more conversations like this, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show.

Eric’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/eric-k-threlkeld/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericthrelkeld/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

A short, early check‑in highlights Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the themes “Every1KnowsSome1” and “With Survivors, Always,” and simple ways to show support. Ingrid shares key dates, a poem for survivors, how to participate in Purple Thursday, and news about new 1 in 3 merch.

• Domestic Violence Awareness Month begins October 1
• Every1KnowsSome1 theme and its meaning
• With Survivors, Always theme and meaning
• Key dates: National Day of Unity (Oct 6), Purple Thursday (Oct 16)
• How to participate: wear purple, post with #DVAM and #1in3podcast
• New 1 in 3 merch with “You are NOT alone” message

Merch link: https://1-in-3-podcast-merch.printify.me/

Sources:

https://helpendabuseforlife.org/october-is-domestic-violence-awareness-month2015/#:~:text=Picture%20Courtesy%20John%20T.%20Soden.%20Each%20year%2C,work%20to%20end%20violence%20in%20our%20communities.

https://www.dvawareness.org/WithSurvivors

https://givefordv.nnedv.org/info/givefordv-social-media-english

https://allagainstabuse.org/why-purple/

https://www.facebook.com/NNEDV/photos/save-the-date-for-purplethursday-october-16-2025-each-year-on-the-third-thursday/1256319339873945/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe