In this vulnerable and empowering conversation, host Tera Wages sits down with Ally Bullock — licensed marriage and family therapist, Head of Relationships at Paired, and creator of Relationships with Ally. Together, they unpack the realities of sex and intimacy after parenting. From mismatched desire and the weight of invisible labor, to the science behind stress and sexual satisfaction, Ally shares practical strategies couples can use to reconnect. Listeners will hear real-life stories, expert insights, and powerful tools — like co-regulation rituals, responsive desire reframes, and scheduling intimacy — that can transform the way partners approach connection in the busiest seasons of life.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome to Fatherhood Field Notes Pocast
• 00:00:27 - Meet Aly Bullock
• 00:01:50 - 45% of parents report less intimacy
• 00:03:58 - Aly's Background: A marriage and family therapist with the Paired app
• 00:05:48 - Aly's Personal Story: Marriage, three kids, and "chaotic" life
• 00:07:28 - How does sex change after kids?
• 00:08:13 - Why Intimacy Decreases
• 00:09:00 - Feeling "touched out" after 10 years of pregnancy/nursing
• 00:10:17 - Desire Types: Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained
• 00:12:55 - Use a shared note to "brain dump" the mental load
• 00:15:47 - Reframing Expectations: Embrace a new normal post-kids
• 00:17:45 - Why to Schedule Sex
• 00:19:06 - Study: A mother's stress predicts lower sexual satisfaction for both partners
• 00:20:00 - A New Approach: Schedule "intimacy time," not just sex
• 00:24:08 - A Moment of Empathy: Tera's husband experiences overstimulation
• 00:25:37 - Tip for Overstimulation: Co-regulation with back-to-back breathing
• 00:28:03 - Use AirPods with relaxing music during sex
• 00:28:53 - Study: Small, daily intimate acts boost satisfaction
• 00:30:18 - Identity Matters
• 00:31:21 - Tip on Identity: Separate your "parent" and "partner" roles
• 00:32:21 - Intimacy can get better with time
• 00:41:41 - Recap: A summary of the episode's key tips
• 00:42:13 - Resource: The Paired app's "Recharge Your Sex Life" course
• 00:42:57 - Where to find Aly

Links and Resources:

• Relationship with Aly Website:

• • Aly on Instagram
  • Aly on ⁠LinkedIn⁠:⁠ Aly Bullock
  • Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
  • Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
  • Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

  
  

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis talk with Paul and Hannah McClure—musicians, parents, and certified Connection Codes coaches—about the journey of learning to process emotions instead of drowning in them. The McClures share openly about walking through miscarriage, facing parenting challenges, and breaking free from long seasons of disconnection. They describe how simple tools like the Core Emotion Wheel gave them language for their feelings, transformed their marriage, and reshaped the way they connect as a family. This episode is an invitation to slow down, honor what you feel, and discover how vulnerability can lead to lasting healing and deeper relationships.Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – Welcome to the Connection Codes Podcast

• 00:00:57 – Meet Paul & Hannah

• 00:01:34 – Story of meeting as teens and family background

• 00:02:41 – Discovery of the program in 2020 through webinars

• 00:03:15 – How the tools helped process miscarriage

• 00:04:44 – Reflection on “choose joy” culture and parenting impact

• 00:05:31 – Childhood experience of suppressing emotions

• 00:07:23 – Demonstration of the Core Emotion Wheel

• 00:09:27 – Feelings of anger, guilt, and loneliness in friendships

• 00:11:16 – Fear about an album release and hurt from a trip

• 00:13:00 – Key victories and struggles with the tools

• 00:14:23 – Resolving conflict in Hawaii by naming hurt

• 00:17:30 – How minutes of processing prevent days of disconnect

• 00:19:51 – Example of using the wheel during a cancer diagnosis

• 00:25:00 – Motivation for becoming coaches

• 00:27:18 – Coaching removed the pressure of having all the answers

• 00:30:04 – How unprocessed joy can lead to poor choices

• 00:32:04 – The wheel as a manual for navigating trauma

• 00:37:29 – Fear of drowning in emotions

• 00:40:10 – Seeing past anger to identify underlying hurt

Links and Resources:

• Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

Tera Wages sits down with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to unpack the heart behind launching the School of Connection. Together, they explore why disconnection is one of the most dangerous forces in marriages, families, and workplaces, and how community becomes the missing piece for lasting transformation. With real stories of parents using the Core Emotion Wheel, couples breaking the cycle of conflict, and individuals rediscovering hope, this conversation reveals a clear path from isolation to authentic connection. If you’ve ever longed for deeper relationships or wondered how to move from surviving to thriving, this episode offers practical tools and an inspiring vision for healing through connection

Chapters:

• (00:00:00) - Welcome to Connection Codes Podcast
• (00:02:12) - The Big Announcement
• (00:03:12) - Identifying the Need for Human Connection
• (00:04:20) - Announcing the "School of Connection"
• (00:05:01) - Why Everyone Needs This
• (00:06:17) - Phyllis on the Power of a "Deep Dive"
• (00:07:19) - A Health Journey vs. Relational Health
• (00:09:07) - The Pain of Loneliness When Success Isn't Enough

• (00:11:58) - Why Handing Someone a Chainsaw Doesn't Make Them an Ice Sculptor
• (00:13:46) - Phyllis on the Burden of Meeting the Community's Needs
• (00:17:44) - The Unexpected Transformations: Restored Marriages and Found Voices
• (00:19:30) - "People are Dating Robots"
• (00:23:14) - My 6-Year-Old Coached Me Through Conflict
• (00:25:09) - Aiming to "Freak Out Over a 10-Minute Conflict"
• (00:28:20) - "We Did the Book, But That Wasn't Enough"
• (00:33:19) - Who This Is For: Breaking Free From Walking on Eggshells
• (00:35:08) - Discovering a Spouse's Hidden Pain
• (00:40:47) - How to Join: Announcing the First Cohort Start Date
• (00:43:43) - The Team's Core Emotions About the New School
• (00:44:03) - Fear and Joy of Launching the Program
• (00:47:23) - The Anger of Financial Limitations
• (00:50:48) - The Rarity of Hearing the Real Story Behind a Business
• (00:52:45) - The Path to Becoming a Certified Coach

Links and Resources:

• Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill welcome their grandson, Asher Hill, to share his journey of learning and practicing the Connection Codes Core Emotion Wheel from a young age. That foundation became life-saving when, at just 14 years old, he was hit with the emotional weight of his mother’s cancer diagnosis. Now 16, Asher reflects on how this tool has carried him through high school pressures, football struggles, panic attacks, and family conflicts—and even how he uses it with his girlfriend to build a safe, honest relationship. His story proves that emotional intelligence isn’t just for adults—no one is too young to learn it—and that authentic communication and safe spaces for vulnerability can transform every relationship, from family to friendships to future partnerships.

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction & Disclaimer(00:02:59) Meet Asher(00:05:14) Why Asher is on the Podcast(00:06:59) Early Memories of Connection Codes(00:08:06) Cousin Conflict(00:10:38) The "Three Sentences" Rule(00:12:56) The Core Emotion Wheel as a "Game Changer"(00:15:56) Learning as We Go(00:19:12) A Cousin-Led Resolution(00:21:44) Navigating a Mother's Illness(00:26:28) Emotional Suppression as a Coping Mechanism(00:27:32) Inhale, Exhale: The Flow of Emotions(00:29:07) The Gym Analogy for Emotions(00:30:44) The Weight of Unprocessed Feelings(00:36:11) Asher's Core Emotion Wheel(00:38:23) Using the Wheel in a Relationship

Links and Resources:

• Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠

In this heartfelt episode, we explore the transformative power of vulnerability in personal growth. Join us as Hannah Droll shares her journey of embracing vulnerability through Connection Codes, revealing how it reshaped her relationships and self-awareness. Discover the challenges and triumphs of staying present in moments of emotional intensity, and learn how vulnerability can lead to deeper connections and personal transformation. Tune in to uncover the profound impact of being open and authentic in your own life.

What if processing emotions could be simple, kind, and transformative? In this conversation, Dr. Glenn sits down with Jonathan Hernandez — psychology student, Certified Connection Codes Coach, and creative visionary bringing the Connection Codes to nearly a billion Spanish speakers. Speaking from his own dating relationship, Jonathan shares how processing emotions like fear, joy, and shame without judgment has deepened connection and reduced conflict — and how these same tools are transforming marriages around the world. Together, they explore why emotions “happen to us,” how resisting them keeps us stuck, and practical ways to experience emotional safety in real time. Whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode offers hope, humor, and actionable insight for anyone ready to strengthen their emotional health and relationships.

Links and Resources:

• Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠
• Jonathan Hernandez on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jonathan-hernandez-b16070188⁠

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome & Why This Conversation Matters
• 00:00:38 - Finding Joy in Fully Feeling
• 00:01:35 - Meet Jonathan Hernandez & His Mission
• 00:03:13 - The Moment Connection Codes Changed Everything
• 00:07:22 - How Emotions Shape Every Connection
• 00:10:50 - Processing Feelings That Once Felt Impossible
• 00:21:06 - Turning Shame into a Bridge for Closeness
• 00:24:34 - Trauma Responses and the Path to Healing
• 00:27:23 - Experiencing Emotions in a Whole New Way
• 00:28:43 - Using Emotional Processing to Truly Heal
• 00:29:55 - Why Sadness Deserves a Seat at the Table
• 00:32:09 - Applying Connection Codes in Real-Life Dating
• 00:42:20 - Bringing Connection Codes to Millions of Spanish Speakers
• 00:48:02 - The Transformative Power of Emotional Coaching
• 00:49:58 - Walking Through the Emotional Wheel in Action

After 30 days apart, Tera and Wes Wages reunite in this raw and reflective episode to walk through the Core Emotion Wheel—live and unscripted. They process everything from the guilt of missed connections to the joy of being truly seen, showing just how powerful emotional honesty can be. Along the way, they model how to use this tool in real-time, talk through what’s really driving their behavior, and explain how diving deeper into core emotions has helped them move from disconnection to intimacy. If you've ever felt stuck in surface-level conversations, this episode shows how to break through and build meaningful connection—one emotion at a time.

Links and Resources:

• Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome, Warm-Up & Quick Heads-Up
• 00:00:49 - Summer Stories & Reuniting on the Mic
• 00:01:10 - Unlocking Connection with the Core Emotion Wheel
• 00:03:33 - Putting the Wheel to Work in Real Life
• 00:05:24 - Peeling Back Layers: Emotions That Shape Relationships
• 00:12:00 - Wes Opens Up: Honest Feelings on the Table
• 00:17:14 - Big Life Shift: Saying Goodbye to the RV
• 00:18:41 - The Emotional Weight of Letting Go
• 00:19:08 - Adventures, Solitude, and Summer Reflections
• 00:20:06 - Joy, Dreams, and What’s Next
• 00:20:35 - Breaking Down the Core Eight Emotions
• 00:22:02 - Chasing Parks, Memories, and Milestones
• 00:23:37 - Why Our Feelings Drive the Choices We Make
• 00:30:52 - The Highs and Hiccups of Life on the Road
• 00:33:04 - How Core Emotions Keep Us Connected
• 00:35:06 - Final Encouragement & Invitation to Join the Conversation