Send us a text

In this episode of Midlife Sparkle, I’m diving into a solo chat about a familiar voice most of us know far too well - our inner critic. Mine’s called Critical Cassie, and she’s been with me since childhood. Maybe you’ve got one too - that little voice that tells you you’re not smart enough, not thin enough, or not doing enough. I’ve decided to give mine a name because it helps me remember that she’s not me - she’s just a voice, and I get to choose how loud she is.

I talk about how these inner voices form - from childhood influences, parents, teachers, partners, or past experiences - and how they can quietly shape the way we think and behave as adults. Cassie is the leader of my inner critic crew, but she’s got plenty of company: Anxious Annie, Guilty Gabby, Rejection Rebecca, and Comparison Connie are just a few of her sidekicks. They all have something to say, but it’s time we learned how to manage them rather than let them run the show.

During the episode, I walk through a simple but powerful exercise to help you take control. It starts with closing your eyes, placing your hands on your heart, and visualising your critic speaking. Then you turn her volume down - literally imagine her voice getting quieter. It’s an incredible reminder that you have control over her, not the other way around.

I also share how we can build a relationship with our critic instead of trying to silence her. When you accept her presence and even show her gratitude for trying to protect you, her voice starts to soften. She’s part of us, but she doesn’t define us. The real power comes when we start questioning what she says.

A favourite strategy of mine - and one I use with clients - is to challenge those beliefs directly. Ask yourself, “Can I say without a shadow of a doubt that what she’s saying is 100% true?” The answer is always no. We can change these old beliefs; our brains are beautifully malleable thanks to neuroplasticity.

This episode isn’t about silencing your critic completely - she’ll always be there - but about learning how to turn her down, understand her purpose, and live more freely.

Key takeaways and actions:
Start by naming your critic to separate her from your true self. Accept that she’s part of you but not in charge. Write her a letter, record a voice note, or even send her an email to express what you need to say. Then question her beliefs — are they facts or old stories? Finally, remember that building a kinder relationship with your inner critic gives the real you space to grow louder, stronger, and far more confident.

Send us a text

In this episode of Midlife Sparkle, I sit down with Dr Filipa Bellette, or “Philly” as she prefers to be known. She’s the co-founder of the multi-award-winning health practice Chris & Filly Functional Medicine, an author, accredited clinical nutritionist, functional medicine practitioner, coach and trauma therapist. Alongside her husband, Chris, she has helped more than two and a half thousand clients overcome chronic burnout, fatigue and overwhelm through a deep root-cause approach.

Filly’s passion for this work stems from her own experience with severe burnout. From fainting and fitting as a teenager to complete body shutdown after having children, her story is both relatable and eye-opening. She talks candidly about what it felt like to juggle motherhood, business and study while her body was breaking down - how she tried everything from nutrition and supplements to lab testing - and how none of it truly worked until she addressed the deep-seated belief that she was weak and incapable.

Our conversation goes far beyond the usual wellness chat. Filly explains what body burnout actually is, how it differs from workplace burnout, and how chronic stress literally rewires our nervous system and physiology. She shares how stress hormones such as cortisol keep us stuck in fight-or-flight mode, and how that affects our mood, energy, hormones and gut health.

We also unpack the root-cause approach she uses in her clinic - combining functional medicine with trauma-informed therapy. She outlines how every habit and coping mechanism (from overworking and perfectionism to alcohol or sugar) is linked to a deep-rooted belief about ourselves. Healing happens, she says, when we finally listen to what the body is trying to tell us.

One of my favourite parts of our chat is when Filly describes how true recovery often comes from the simplest things - rest, grounding, sunlight and reconnecting with nature. She shares a beautiful practice: taking off your shoes, sitting on the grass, placing your hand on your heart and asking your body what it needs.

Filly’s story is a powerful reminder that burnout isn’t a badge of honour - it’s a message. A message to slow down, listen, and rebuild from the inside out.

Key takeaways and actions:
If you’re feeling tired, irritable or unmotivated, don’t dismiss it as “just midlife” or “too many responsibilities”. It might be your body’s way of asking for help. Start by slowing down, even for five minutes a day. Step outside, breathe fresh air and tune into what your body is saying. Look beyond surface fixes - better sleep, nutrition and supplements are important, but the deeper work lies in changing the beliefs that drive your busyness and stress. Healing begins when you decide you are worthy of rest, health and ease.

Send us a text

In this episode of Midlife Sparkle, I chat with my friend and powerhouse fitness professional, Nikki Ellis, about strength, health, and living alcohol-free in midlife. Nikki has spent more than 30 years in the fitness industry as a personal trainer, sessional academic at Victoria University, and founder of Cinch, a multi-award-winning boutique training studio in Melbourne’s northeast. She’s passionate about helping women discover their power through resistance training, movement, and mindful choices - including rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Nikki shares her refreshingly honest journey from “mummy wine culture” to living a mostly alcohol-free life. After a moment that made her realise how alcohol was holding her back, she stopped drinking completely in 2023. What followed was a deeper sense of clarity, confidence, and connection to herself.

We talk about how alcohol affects women physically and mentally, especially in midlife. Nikki explains how alcohol impacts muscle recovery, hormone balance, sleep, and fat metabolism - all critical factors for women navigating menopause and beyond. Even small amounts of alcohol can reduce muscle protein synthesis by up to 37%, disrupt hormones like cortisol and growth hormone, and make it harder to lose fat and build muscle. It’s confronting but empowering knowledge that helps women make informed choices about their health.

Our conversation also dives into the emotional and social aspects of drinking. Nikki opens up about the rituals tied to alcohol - pouring that glass of wine while cooking dinner or celebrating a big milestone - and how she found joy in replacing those moments with alcohol-free alternatives that still felt special. We discuss the growing movement toward non-alcoholic drinks, the need for more inclusive hospitality options, and how the cultural shift away from alcohol is beginning to mirror what happened with smoking decades ago.

What I love most about Nikki’s story is her self-awareness and honesty. She admits moderation doesn’t work for her and that she feels better without it. Her story is about empowerment, not perfection - a reminder that small, intentional choices can create huge shifts in our wellbeing and mindset.

Key Takeaways and Actions:
If you’re rethinking your relationship with alcohol, start by paying attention to your habits and triggers. Notice when and why you reach for a drink, and experiment with swapping it for something alcohol-free. Keep your rituals - make them special - but remove the alcohol.

If you train regularly or want to feel stronger, remember that alcohol affects muscle recovery, hormone balance, and sleep. Prioritise your energy, clarity, and strength instead. Finally, be patient and kind to yourself. Changing your relationship with alcohol is not about restriction - it’s about creating a life that feels good every day.

Send us a text

In this episode of Midlife Sparkle, I sit down with my friend and straight-talking powerhouse, Shelly Horton - one of Australia’s most trusted voices in media, wellness, and women’s health. Shelly’s career as a journalist, presenter, MC, and founder of ShellShocked Media has made her a familiar face on Channel Nine and across countless stages. But today, she’s here to talk about a topic that’s been swept under the rug for far too long - perimenopause.

Shelly’s new book, I’m Your Peri(God)mother, is Australia’s first comprehensive guide to perimenopause that blends memoir, science, and humour. She opens up about her own experience with the hormonal chaos that hit her in her forties - from brain fog and mood swings to sleepless nights and anxiety - and how she clawed her way back with evidence-based information, medical support, and a big dose of sass.

We talk about what happens when your hormones stage a mutiny and why so many women, like Shelly, had no idea what was happening to their bodies. Shelly shares how she was initially dismissed by a GP, blamed herself, and spent months feeling broken - until one supportive conversation with her husband led her to a doctor who finally diagnosed perimenopause and prescribed the treatment she needed. Her honesty about navigating HRT, antidepressants, and trial and error offers comfort and clarity to anyone currently in the thick of it.

Shelly and I also discuss the lack of menopause education for doctors, how systemic misogyny has impacted women’s health, and why self-advocacy matters more than ever. She shares practical advice for managing symptoms, from brain fog and hot flushes to shifting moods, and the importance of finding a GP who treats you as a teammate, not a problem to be dismissed.

Her signature humour shines through as she talks about “craft” (can’t remember a thing), the joy of lists, the infamous We Do Not Care Club, and how laughter can make even the sweatiest of moments bearable.

Key Takeaways and Actions:
If there’s one message in this episode, it’s that knowledge is power. Educate yourself about perimenopause early, even before symptoms appear, so you can make informed decisions about your health. Don’t accept dismissal from healthcare providers — find one who listens, learns, and supports you. Be kind to yourself during the hormonal rollercoaster, and use humour to lighten the load. And if you find yourself walking into a room and forgetting why you’re there, remember — you’re not alone, and there’s probably a funny story in it somewhere.

Send us a text

In this episode of Sober Sparkle, I sit down with the powerhouse that is Kim Payne - professional speaker, business mentor and podcast host. Kim has spent over 30 years in business, finance and personal growth helping entrepreneurs and professionals turn “what if” into “why not.” Known for her high-energy, straight-talking style, Kim delivers the kind of friendly wake-up calls that inspire women to make courageous choices.

Kim shares her remarkable story of walking away from a dream job in the United States at the height of her corporate career, despite having built her life around that goal. That one decision became the catalyst for everything that followed - meeting her husband, creating a new business on her own terms and redefining success. We also dive into the realities of perimenopause, perfectionism, fear, and changing your relationship with alcohol.

Together, we talk about the myth of “having it all,” the pressure of perfection, and the power of courage in creating a life you truly want. Kim reveals how she moved from working 35 weeks of the year to building a coaching practice that supports women to make bold choices, step into their power and manage their inner critic.

We also discuss how her drinking habits changed over time - from daily wine to discovering that even small amounts were leaving her with hangovers. Kim shares how she cut back, the benefits she’s experienced and the challenges of socialising differently when alcohol has been such a default.

This conversation is full of practical insights, honest reflections and inspiring ideas for any woman who’s standing on the edge of a big decision and wondering how to move forward.

Key takeaways and actions:

• Redefine success on your terms. Kim’s story shows that even your biggest goals can change - and that’s okay. Ask yourself what really matters to you right now.
• Fear is normal. Every woman Kim interviewed about success admitted to feeling fear and self-doubt. The difference is they took action anyway.
• Celebrate your wins. Kim uses her “kick-ass list” to remind herself of past achievements whenever her inner critic gets loud. Make your own and revisit it often.
• Break up with perfectionism. Massive imperfect action will move you further than waiting until everything’s “just right.”
• Be mindful about alcohol. Notice how it actually makes you feel rather than following old habits. Give yourself permission to step back or try alcohol-free options, especially if you’re experiencing hormonal changes.

Send us a text

In this episode of Sober Sparkle I sit down with award-winning patient advocate and podcast host Luan Lawrenson-Woods. After her diagnosis with invasive lobular breast cancer, Luan discovered just how overwhelming the health system can feel - the jargon, the choices, the pressure - and turned that experience into a mission to help women advocate for themselves with calm, clarity and confidence.

We talk about why self-advocacy matters, what informed consent really means in practice, and how to prepare for appointments so I’m not walking out thinking, “I wish I’d asked that.” Luan shares her practical Six Steps of Self-Advocacy (her “SAS”) and shows how small changes - a written question list, a supportive “wing person”, and better filters for online information - can transform decision-making and reduce regret. https://www.luanlawriewoods.com.au/self-advocacy-resources

Luan also explains her shift from private patient to public advocate, why community and lived experience are so powerful, and how respectful, values-led communication can sit comfortably alongside medical expertise. This conversation is a reminder that my healthcare is about me, and my voice belongs in the room.

Key takeaways and actions

• I have the right to ask questions and participate fully in my care. That isn’t being difficult - it’s being informed.
• Preparation helps under pressure. I’ll write my questions, bring a support person to take notes, and ask for plain-English explanations.
• I’ll “cut the CRAP” when I’m online: watch for conspiracy, requests for money, anecdotes in place of evidence, and check who published it.
• Self-advocacy can be respectful and values-based. If something doesn’t sit right, I’ll seek clarification or a second opinion. Here's the free resource. https://www.luanlawriewoods.com.au/self-advocacy-resources
• After appointments, I’ll check in with myself: did I feel heard, do I understand my options, and what do I need next?
• The Six Self-Advocacy Steps is SSAS (not SAS). Listeners can find it here: https://www.luanlawriewoods.com.au/self-advocacy-resources

Send us a text

In this mid-season solo episode of Sober Sparkle, I answer the questions I’m asked most often - on email, in DMs and in conversation with clients. From whether alcohol caused my breast cancer, to how much I actually drank, whether my partner still drinks, how I handled socialising in early sobriety, if I’ll ever drink again, and the exact steps I took to change - nothing is off limits. I’m an open book because I want you to know you’re not alone, and there’s more than one way to change your relationship with alcohol.

I start with the big one: did drinking cause my breast cancer? My specialists didn’t think so at the time (2014), given my family history and the research available then. What I wasn’t asked - by any specialist - was whether I drank, and I wasn’t educated on the alcohol–cancer link. That’s changed. In early 2024, the US Surgeon General highlighted clear links between alcohol and several cancers, including breast cancer. My message is simple: please book your mammogram. In Australia, call 13 20 50. My mammogram was the reason my cancer was found early.

I share, honestly, how much I drank. Near the end it was a bottle of wine a night, often more. I justified it with “rules” and “low-alcohol” wine, but when you add up standard drinks it was well above health guidelines. I also answer the partner question. Yes, my husband still drank when I stopped, and I didn’t expect him to change for me. What actually happened was a ripple effect - without pressure - he naturally cut down and now drinks very occasionally.

Socialising in the early months? I bunkered down and focused on me: reading, podcasts, journalling, movement and rest. When I did go out, alcohol-free options in a proper glass made a huge difference. I had a plan for well-meaning pressure (“just one”), and I learned to leave when I’d had enough. Lunches, breakfasts and walks were easier than boozy nights. Triggers popped up (Father’s Day was one), but preparation helped.

Will I drink again? I don’t know - and I’m comfortable with that. I planned six months off, felt so much better and kept going. I don’t apply pressure or labels. In my coaching, you don’t have to quit forever to work with me - cutting back, experimenting and taking breaks are all valid paths.

Finally, I lay out exactly what I did to change. I removed alcohol from the house, immersed myself in quit-lit and podcasts, worked with a coach and a group for accountability, replaced the 5–7 pm window with movement, food, calls, showers or a bath, kept my hands busy (stress ball, manicure, knitting, cooking), and used alcohol-free drinks as a stepping stone. Most importantly, I swapped self-berating for self-compassion. That shift kept me going when nothing else did.

Key Takeaways and Actions (woven through the episode):
If you’re sober-curious, start by getting curious - not judgemental. Add up your honest standard drinks and notice the “rules” you use to justify them. Build a social plan: bring your own alcohol-free options, decide your exit time, and have a one-line response ready for “just one”. Replace the 5–7 pm window with something that occupies your hands and head. Consider accountability - a coach, a program or a trusted friend. And please, book your mammogram (13 20 50). Above all, be kind to yourself; compassion changes behaviour, shame doesn’t.

Send us a text

In this solo episode of Sober-ish Sparkle, I open up about my drinking story in the hope that it resonates with you and reminds you that you’re not alone. I take you through the different stages of my drinking - from my divorce and single parenting years, through dating again, marriage, postnatal depression, breast cancer, turning 50, and the COVID lockdowns.

For me, drinking began as a way to cope with loneliness, sadness, and stress. Over the years it became my constant companion: a bottle of wine most nights, sometimes more, justified by rules and rituals I created to keep it feeling “normal.” Whether it was dating nerves, celebrating milestones, or managing daily overwhelm, alcohol became the thread I thought held me together.

But underneath it all, I knew I was stuck in a cycle. Even when I convinced myself I was “functioning” or “not that bad,” the truth was I was drinking more than I wanted and it was dulling my spark. I share the moment when things shifted - waking up with shakes and vertigo one morning after Christmas - and how that became my turning point to seek help, work with a coach, and step into sober curiosity.

The key message I want to leave you with is this: berating yourself never works. I spent years calling myself hopeless, useless, a drunk. If shame and self-criticism could fix drinking, I would have been sober decades ago. What finally worked was learning to treat myself with kindness, compassion and nurture - even when I slipped up. That was the difference that helped me change for good.