When you meet someone difficult or moany at Christmas — like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls type — 45-minute monologue of misery…

Which one are you?

A) Do you smile politely and slowly lose the will to live? B) Do you try to fix their problem just to get out alive? C) Or do you suddenly remember you “need to check the oven”… even though you don’t have one?

Christmas is emotional, noisy, nostalgic… and full of people and personalities we don’t always choose.

But here’s the truth:

We can’t change difficult people. We can change how we meet them — internally. And that’s where the peace begins.

Most of us jump into their drama, take on their emotions, and end up irritated or drained.

Empathy is different. Empathy is steady. Empathy says: “I see you — but I’m not losing myself in your story.”

And the good news is you only need two steps to do this at Christmas.

THE TWO-STEP CHRISTMAS PEACE SOLUTION

STEP 1: Say something that starts with “I hear you…”

This helps the other person feel seen — without you taking on their feelings.

Use whichever feels most natural:

· “I hear you — that sounds tough.”

· “I hear you — I get why you’d feel that way.”

· “I hear you — and I hope things get easier for you.”

Short. Kind. Boundaried.Job done.

STEP 2: Say something silently in your own mind:

“Just like me…” This is the internal shift —the part they never hearbut you always feel.

Examples:

· “ just like me. They’re doing their best…”

· “ just like me.” They want to feel loved and safe…

· “ just like me.” They get overwhelmed sometimes…

This softens how you see them. It keeps you calm, grounded, and in control of your own state.

Together, these two steps mean you can be kind without being consumed.

If you want more peace and less emotional turbulence…

Don’t try to fix people. Don’t join their drama.

Just: Step 1: “I hear you…” Step 2: “Just like me…”

Two steps. Big difference.

That’s how you stay centred, compassionate, and still enjoy your Christmas dinner.

Peace isn’t a mood.

Peace is a decision.

It’s why it’s called the present — because peace only exists in this moment.

Three Key Teaching Points

1. Recreate the Feeling

Your happiest memories aren’t in the past — they’re in your nervous system. You can activate joy, gratitude, and calm any time.

2. Happiness Without Agenda

You can feel good without waiting for circumstances to be perfect. Choose peace now, before anything improves.

3. Choose Peace Over Pressure

This season, decide to respond from calm instead of chaos.

Faith over fear.

Love over control.

Presence over pressure.

Three Practical Steps for Listeners

Step 1 – Pause for ten seconds before reacting.

Peace lives in that gap.

Step 2 – Ask: “What would the peaceful version of me do right now?”

Instant clarity.

Step 3 – Be the reason someone believes the world is still good.

A small kindness changes everything.

The Reframe

When you choose peace again and again, happiness becomes your default state. Not because everything went right — but because you did. You showed up for yourself. You mastered your mind.

Christmas doesn’t create stress — our thoughts about Christmas create stress.
The busier life gets, the louder the inner chatter becomes.

At Christmas, people say things to themselves like:

• “I should be happier.”
• “I’m not doing enough.”
• “Everyone else has it sorted except me.”
• “This has to be perfect.”

This inner Grinch steals the joy of the season.
But we can flip it — quickly and powerfull!

The Christmas Mindset Shift

Tool 1: Become Your Own Christmas Coach

Instead of:

“I can’t cope — everything’s going wrong.”

Say:

“Deirdre, you’re doing your best. Christmas is about connection, not perfection.”

Example:
You burn the roasties?
stick on your favourite Christmas song, start again

Tool 2: The January Test

When you start spiralling, ask yourself:
“Will this matter in mid-January?”
99% of the time — no.

Example:
A relative makes a half-snide comment?
In January, you won’t even remember it.
Instant relief.

Tool 3: Shift Your State

Your environment affects your thoughts.
A quick physical or sensory shift snaps you out of overthinking.

Try:

• Step outside into the cold for 2 minutes
• Put on a song that changes your emotional temperature
• Light a candle

Example:
Kids shouting, dinner burning, phone buzzing — step outside, breathe, re-enter with new energy.

Tool 4: The Christmas Permission Slip

Give yourself permission to:

• Not be perfect
• Say no
• Simplify gifts
• Attend fewer events
• Protect your peace
• Do Christmas in your own way

Example:
“This year I’m choosing presence over pressure.”

Your 3-Step Christmas Solution

1. Catch the Inner Grinch
Notice when your thinking goes negative.

2. Coach Yourself Kindly
Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you adore.

3. Choose People Over Perfection
Ask: “What actually matters today?”
The answer is usually: the moment, the connection, the feeling — not the job list.

“Beat the Christmas rush — go from chaos to in charge in 3 steps.”

How to get ahead,

stay in control,

and actually enjoy

the next 6 weeks.

Question for Frank

“What Are You a YES For This Christmas?”

A) “Here we go — stress, pressure, and trying to please everyone.”

B) “Ach, I’ll leave it ’til the week before.”

C) “This year… I want it to feel different.”

D) “I love Christmas, but it exhausts me!”

But the people who enjoy it — the calm ones, the present ones, the grounded ones —

they decide ahead of time what Christmas is going to mean for them.

The 3 Bullet-Proof Christmas Mindset Decisions

1 — YES to Emotional Boundaries

Like Malachy, decide what you’re focusing on this year.

Examples:

- Say, “Let me get back to you on that,” instead of instant yes.

- Give yourself permission to leave gatherings early.

- Choose the people who fill your cup, not empty it.

Reframe:

You’re not being difficult — you’re being deliberate

2 — YES to a Calm Financial Plan

Christmas panic spending is a mindset problem, not a money problem.

Examples:

- One present per adult.

- A simple spending limit.

- Buy meaning, not madness.

3- One grounding ritual every day: a candle, a cup of tea, a breath.

Movember started in 2003 in Australia — a few men grew moustaches to raise awareness for men’s health.

Now a global movement focusing on:

1. Prostate cancer

2. Testicular cancer

3. Men’s mental health and suicide prevention

3 Steps to Strengthen Your Mindset

Step 1 – Check In, Don’t Check Out. When stress hits, most men distract or push it down.

Instead, take a moment and ask:

“What’s really going on for me right now?” A small pause can stop a mental spiral before it starts.

Step 2 – Challenge the Voice in Your Head. If that inner critic says, “You should handle this on your own,” — question it. Would you speak that way to your best mate? Then don’t say it to yourself.

Step 3 – Connect to Release. Find one safe outlet — a mate, a mentor, a moment alone. Speaking your truth, or even writing it down, releases pressure and brings clarity. Connection is the cure for isolation.

We believe stress is something that happens to us, but many of us are actually addicted to the feeling of being on edge.

Your brain and body can get hooked on that surge of adrenaline — the very chemical that’s meant to help in emergencies.

When life gets calm, you crave the chaos again, because calm feels foreign.

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Practical examples:
- The man who finally gets a weekend off work… and ends up fixing the shed, cutting the grass, and reorganising the garage because he “can’t sit still.”
- The mum who says she wants peace and quiet — but when the house finally goes silent, she feels uneasy and starts tidying.
- The taxi driver who keeps the radio blaring, the phone pinging, and the conversation going — because silence feels uncomfortable.
- The manager who checks emails at 10 PM “just in case,” unable to switch off, thinking that being always available equals being valuable.

We say, “I work better under pressure” — but what we really mean is: I’m more familiar with panic than peace.

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3-Step Solution :

1️⃣ Notice your baseline.
Ask yourself: What does peace feel like in my body?
If you can’t remember the last time you felt truly relaxed — without needing to check your phone or plan your next move — that’s your sign.

Example:
You’re watching TV but half your brain is thinking about tomorrow’s to-do list.
That’s not relaxation — that’s low-grade stress.
Try this instead: lie on the sofa, breathe deeply, and stay present for two minutes.

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2️⃣ Pause before reacting.
When you feel that surge to do something now, take one deep breath.
Say to yourself: “This is just my old wiring — I’m safe even when I’m still.”

Example:
The email pings — instead of jumping to reply instantly, pause.
When someone says something triggering — instead of snapping, breathe first.
That pause is your power. It breaks the addiction cycle.

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3️⃣ Replace the rush.
Find a new kind of “high.” Replace the stress buzz with movement, laughter, or gratitude.

Examples:
- Take a brisk walk before work instead of doom scrolling.
- Turn your car drive into quiet time — no radio, just breathing.
- Swap scrolling for stretching.
- Call a friend to share good news instead of venting about stress.

When it comes to winning in life, whether it’s football or personal goals:
Do you think it’s all about

A) skill and strategy?
B) luck and timing?
C) Or is it about belief — that invisible energy every winning team carries before they even step on the pitch?

The Sequence – Living from the Inside Out

Northern Ireland have kicked off the World Cup in style — and the buzz across the country is electric!
But here’s what’s interesting… success in football and success in life follow the same sequence.

So this is my team talk before the big match:

I call it the Freedom Frequency — the inner game that creates the outer scoreline.
1️⃣ Activate the Burning Desire –

The Goal Before the Goal

Before any player touches the ball, they’ve already seen it — in their mind. That burning desire to win is the emotional ignition that fuels everything else.great teams feel victory before they live it.
2️⃣ Compound the Energy Every Training, Every Thought
The energy builds — through repetition, belief, teamwork. Just like a player repeating the same move until it becomes instinct, we build our thought patterns until they become habits.

3️⃣ Add L-O-V-E – Levels of Vibrational Energy
Love

for the game,

love for the fans,

love for the jersey — that’s what lifts the energy. It’s why the fans matter so much — they’re not just watching; they’re co-creating the frequency.

4️⃣ Move It into Form – Take the Shot
The thought becomes action — it’s not enough to visualise the goal, you’ve got to take the shot. Every inspired action you take is your version of putting the ball in the back of the net.

5️⃣ Feel the Amplitude Rise – The Stadium Effect
You know that roar when Northern Ireland scores? That’s energy amplified. Your life responds the same way — when you celebrate small wins, your vibration rises, and momentum builds.

6️⃣ Give Out a Different Energy – The Ripple Effect
When the team wins, the whole country feels it. When you raise your inner frequency, everything around you starts to align — opportunities, people, and results.

That’s the Freedom Frequency — the inner game that creates the outer scoreline.

3-Step Team Talk for Listeners

1. Visualise the win – See your goal as if it’s already happened.
2. Feel the team energy – Surround yourself with people who cheer you on.
3. Take your shot – Every small action builds confidence and compounds success.

The Freedom Frequency

The inner game that creates the outer scoreline.

1️⃣ Activate the Burning Desire

2️⃣ Compound the Energy

3️⃣ Add L-O-V-E

4️⃣ Move It into Form

5️⃣ Raise the Amplitude

6️⃣ Give Out the Energy