What happens when harm comes from someone you expected to feel safest with? When your shared identity becomes the very weapon used against you? In this final Listener Letter, Jay shares the story of his short-lived “dream job” under a charismatic Black female founder known for championing diversity. Within seven weeks, the role left him emotionally broken, suicidal, and doubting his sense of masculinity and identity.

This episode explores what it means to experience narcissistic abuse from within your own community, and the devastating effects of progressive language being used as a smokescreen for harm. It also examines the psychological toll of trying to be the “good man” in environments that punish gentleness, humility or empathy.

Expert Insight

Clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani offers compassionate, trauma-informed insight into:

• Why people weaponise identity (race, gender, power) to protect their image while abusing others behind the scenes
• The masculinity myth: how society and workplaces distort what it means to be a "good man"
• How guilt can be used to silence victims within communities
• Why shared identity does not guarantee shared values or safety
• Practical recovery tools: journaling for validation, therapeutic support, and radical self-trust

Key themes

• Weaponised Identity: When race, gender, and progressiveness are used to shield toxic behaviour
• Progressive Abuse: The dissonance between public values and private actions
• Community Guilt: The fear of being disloyal by calling out harm from someone within your community
• Masculinity & Vulnerability: How “being a good man” can become a survival strategy and how it’s exploited
• Emotional Fallout: From humiliation and burnout to suicidal ideation and therapy
• Rebuilding Self-Worth: How to regain confidence after gaslighting, betrayal, and shame

Why this episode matters

This episode goes where many don’t: into the deeply taboo topic of harm within marginalised communities, and the confusion, grief, and guilt that comes with it. Jay’s story asks difficult questions about complicity, silence, and who deserves protection. It’s also a powerful exploration of how Black men, in particular, are pressured to soften themselves in professional settings, only to be punished, dismissed, or manipulated.

Bonus episodes

Listener Letters are real stories submitted by the Other Box community, sharing lived experiences of navigating toxic workplaces and narcissistic dynamics. Each letter is anonymised, read aloud, and followed by expert insight from clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani. Together, we unpack the behavioural patterns at play and share tools for clarity, support and recovery.

We hope these real-life accounts allow you to recognise the signs sooner and start focusing on how to reclaim your life.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources.

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our final episode, we explore what it actually means to build a healthy workplace, shifting our focus from toxic behaviours to constructive solutions. We welcome back clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani and our special guest, Raakhi, Other Box’s HR consultant.

So, what does psychological safety look like? How do we promote leadership that centres empathy, accountability, and emotional intelligence, and stop toxic traits from contaminating workplace culture? It’s not enough to just survive narcissistic environments; we want to help you build better ones.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “What would it actually look like to work somewhere safe, respectful, and human?”, this episode is for you.

What we cover:

• Distinguishing between what healthy leadership vs toxic leadership look like
• The difference between psychological safety and performative culture
• The risk of relying on one person to carry out cultural change
• Why DEI must be built into systems, not left to personalities
• The need for accountability processes — even when a narcissist has left
• Supporting teams through grief, exhaustion, and confusion after abuse
• How to rebuild trust from the bottom up

• The Power of Psychological Safety: Creating environments where people feel safe to speak up, fail, and grow
• Signs of False Belonging: When connection is rooted in fear, guilt, obligation, or overidentification with the mission
• Boundary Setting in Practice: Scripts, habits, and mental reframes to protect energy without shutting down
• 
  

• “Healing a workplace after narcissistic harm isn’t just about getting rid of one person, it’s about unlearning the culture that enabled them.” Raakhi Tanvi
• “Belonging isn’t something you perform, it’s something you practice, over time, in safe spaces.” Leyya Sattar
• “Accountability isn’t punishment. It’s the most loving thing a workplace can do for its people.” Dr. Daksha Hirani

Why it matters:

Whether you're still stuck in a toxic workplace, in recovery, or leading a team yourself, this episode offers a roadmap. You can rewrite the narrative. Culture is built moment by moment, and it begins with how we treat each other when no one is watching.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s Listener Letter, we meet Dani, who shares their experience of a working relationship that spanned eight years, one that began in mutual respect and creative fire, and slowly devolved into manipulation, emotional intimidation, and a cycle of abuse that nearly destroyed their marriage and mental health.

It’s a painfully honest account of what it’s like to work side-by-side with a narcissist as your co-founder or collaborator. As the stakes got higher, the gaslighting became more brutal, and the writer found themselves slowly absorbing the narcissist’s traits, from bullying, controlling, and drinking alcohol to cope.

What happens when we lose ourselves in the name of loyalty, reputation, or protecting something we helped build? And how do we forgive ourselves when survival morphs us into someone we barely recognise?

Expert Insight

Clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani offers compassionate, trauma-informed insight into:

• The idealise–devalue–discard cycle common in narcissistic abuse
• How trauma bonding and avoidance behaviours (like drinking, people-pleasing, or becoming aggressive) become survival responses
• The difference between manipulation masked as admiration and genuine partnership
• Why grief, self-forgiveness and radical acceptance are essential to healing

Key themes

• Complicity and Enabling: Dani saw themselves as anti-toxic leadership, yet found themselves protecting abuse out of fear and loyalty
• Manipulation as Maintenance: Compliments, gifts, and praise were used after abuse to reset power dynamics
• Trauma Responses: Mirroring narcissistic traits (e.g., passive-aggression, control, drinking) as a form of survival
• Reputation over Reality: The fear of damaging the company’s image kept the abuse hidden and unchallenged
• Psychological Spillover at Home: Dani’s personal life suffered deeply from mental health crises, alcohol misuse, and family breakdown

Why this episode matters

This story will resonate with founders, creatives, managers, and anyone who has stayed in toxic dynamics longer than they should, especially when success, identity, or loyalty is on the line. Dani’s story shows how long-term exposure to narcissistic abuse erodes your values, your behaviour, and your sense of self. And it highlights the most painful part of all: realising you were complicit in harm while trying to survive it.

Bonus episodes

Listener Letters are real stories submitted by the Other Box community, sharing lived experiences of navigating toxic workplaces and narcissistic dynamics. Each letter is anonymised, read aloud, and followed by expert insight from clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani. Together, we unpack the behavioural patterns at play and share tools for clarity, support and recovery. We hope these real-life accounts allow you to recognise the signs sooner and start focusing on how to reclaim your life.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources.

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when trying to protect yourself at work gets twisted into “not being a team player”? Or when being firm gets labelled as “aggressive”?

In Episode 7 of Narcissism At Work, Leyya and Dr. Daksha Hirani unpack how to set boundaries in environments where narcissistic dynamics thrive. From subtle manipulation to outright sabotage, we explore the tactics that leave people feeling unsafe, hypervigilant, or scared to speak up, and what you can do about it.

Dr. Daksha outlines how to spot narcissistic behaviour at the peer level, how to deal with emotional baiting and boundary violations, and why guilt, self-doubt, and trauma bonding keep us stuck. We also discuss practical ways to protect your mental health when the people around you won’t respect your limits and how to get clear on what is, and isn’t, your responsibility.

Whether you’re being isolated, undermined, or constantly made to question yourself, this episode is for anyone who’s had their empathy exploited in a workplace built on power games.

Key Themes:

• Boundary Violations: Why narcissistic colleagues push limits and how to hold your ground.
• Guilt and Trauma Bonding: The emotional traps that keep you compliant, over-functioning, and quiet.
• Gaslighting and Undermining: How narcissists create confusion and destroy confidence.
• Protective Tools: How to document patterns, detach your identity from abuse, and set limits with clarity.
• The Body Knows: Listening to anxiety, dread, and physical cues as warning signals.

Quote Highlights

“The key here is knowing yourself. What do you need to look after yourself? Anything that comes in the way of this would require a boundary.” – Dr Daksha Hirani

“So many of us end up staying for years, clinging onto the hope that things will get better. We gaslight ourselves. We justify the chaos.” – Leyya Sattar

Why it matters:

Workplace abuse is often subtle, systemic, and dismissed as “just a clash of personalities.” But when manipulation, gaslighting, and boundary violations become the norm, the impact on our mental health, identity, and ability to trust again runs deep. This episode unpacks the insidious nature of narcissistic behaviour at work, how it operates, why it’s so hard to leave, and what recovery actually requires.

Whether you're feeling emotionally drained, questioning your reality, or stuck in a cycle of self-blame, this episode offers both clarity and compassion. With expert insight from clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani, we explore trauma bonding, DARVO, boundary setting, and the role of systems (like HR and legal) in upholding or dismantling abuse.

This isn’t just about identifying bad bosses, it’s about reclaiming your power, trusting your body’s signals, and learning how to heal without hardening. It’s for anyone who’s been silenced, second-guessed, or simply wants to build healthier, safer workplaces.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Please make sure to subscribe, rate and share too!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this bonus episode, Faisa writes in as a manager whose confidence was shattered by a direct report who consistently blurred the line between vulnerability and manipulation. From rejecting basic feedback and weaponising mental health language, to quietly shifting blame and undermining leadership through conflicting narratives, this experience explores what happens when managers, especially empathetic, conscientious ones, find themselves unable to do their job for fear of being seen as "cold," "mean," or "sabotaging."

This story is a must-listen for anyone navigating emotionally complex team dynamics, and a vital reminder that toxic dynamics aren’t exclusive to senior-level roles.

Expert Insight

Clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani offers compassionate, trauma-informed insight into:

• The concept of weaponised incompetence and how empathy can be used against you
• How to reclaim your voice, your confidence, and your authority as a manager
• When guilt is unjustified, and how to separate emotional manipulation from support needs
• Practical tips for documentation, boundary setting, and healing from leadership trauma

Key themes

• Weaponised Vulnerability: Using mental health language to deflect responsibility or silence accountability
• Gaslighting and Narrative Control: Contradicting stories to different people, making the manager seem unstable or unkind
• Guilt + Gendered Power Dynamics: The fear of being seen as "sabotaging" a junior woman's career, especially as a woman in a senior role
• Loss of Confidence in Leadership: Lingering anxiety, fear of managing again, and emotional burnout
• How to Reclaim Trust in Yourself: Practical tools to navigate manipulation while staying true to your values

Why this episode matters

Not all narcissistic dynamics look like shouting CEOs. Some are quiet, confusing, and disguised as wellness, vulnerability, or even friendship. Faisa’s story sheds light on the often invisible burnout that comes from managing someone who continually avoids accountability while presenting themselves as the victim. It’s a form of gaslighting that leaves empathetic leaders questioning their instincts, doubting their decisions, and, too often, abandoning leadership altogether.

Bonus episodes

Listener Letters are real stories submitted by the Other Box community, sharing lived experiences of navigating toxic workplaces and narcissistic dynamics. Each letter is anonymised, read aloud, and followed by expert insight from clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani. Together, we unpack the behavioural patterns at play and share tools for clarity, support and recovery. We hope these real-life accounts allow you to recognise the signs sooner and start focusing on how to reclaim your life.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources.

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever left a job feeling like a shell of yourself—anxious, exhausted, second-guessing everything, and unsure how it got so bad?

In this episode of Narcissism at Work, Leyya and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani explore the deep, often invisible toll that narcissistic abuse takes on the body and mind. From chronic stress and anxiety to adrenal fatigue and disconnection from self, this conversation unpacks the nuanced psychological and physical fallout of being in close proximity to narcissists.

You’ll hear why these symptoms often go unnoticed or are misdiagnosed, how survivors become stuck in fight, flight and freeze responses, and how trauma-informed tools like ACT therapy can help people reclaim their power and rebuild trust in their own bodies. The episode also offers practical first steps for anyone currently trapped in a toxic job or relationship dynamic

• WHO (World Health Organisation)
• Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges)
• ACT Therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• Internal Family Systems (IFS)
• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) for trauma release
• The “STUF” Framework from ACT(Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, Feelings)

“They will feed your fears and position themselves as the only person who can help you get what you need.” – Dr. Daksha Hirani

“I’ve always seen myself as a strong, brave, competent person. I couldn’t understand how I let it get so bad. But now I realise it’s not about weakness, it’s about how expertly these people play on our C.R.A.P. and target people for their strengths, NOT weaknesses.” – Leyya Sattar

Why it matters:

Far too many people endure chronic stress and trauma at work without naming it for what it truly is: abuse. When the harm is coming from someone charismatic, successful, or in a position of power, it often gets minimised or normalised leaving targets anxious, burned out, and disconnected from their sense of reality and self.

This episode breaks that silence. It gives language, context, and validation to what many have wrongly dismissed as “just work stress.” It reframes healing not as a return to who you were, but as a reclamation of agency…one that starts in the body, rewires the nervous system, and reconnects you to your core values.

For anyone stuck in a toxic workplace, questioning their gut, or simply feeling “off,” this episode offers both clarity and direction. It’s a map back to yourself.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources.

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Please make sure to subscribe, rate and share too!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Listener Letter, we hear from Hannah, a former employee who found herself working under the same narcissistic CEO twice, a decade apart.

At first, she returned believing things would be different. But what followed was an extreme environment of control, gaslighting, public humiliation, and 24/7 surveillance dressed up as “remote flexibility.”

From forced video calls all day long, to aggressive outbursts, retaliation for speaking up, and weaponising therapy-speak to silence disagreement, this story is a chilling reminder of how narcissistic leadership infects a company’s entire culture.

Expert Insight

Clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani offers deep, trauma-informed insight into:

• How narcissistic leaders use image management, fear and false morality to maintain power
• Why they target high performers, and punish anyone who exposes the truth
• The nervous system toll of long-term psychological abuse at work
• How to manage anxiety and emotional safety when you can’t just leave
• What to do when you’re dealing with someone who will never be accountable

Key themes

• Performative values and moral grandstanding by toxic leaders
• Psychological manipulation disguised as professional development
• Surveillance, control, and digital coercion in remote work
• Blame-shifting, retaliation, and long-term trauma

Why this episode matters

Hannah’s experience reveals that sometimes, it’s not just the outbursts or gaslighting that do the most damage; it’s the slow erosion of trust in yourself. The fear. The second-guessing. The quiet shrinking.

For anyone who’s ever frozen when a Slack message popped up, stayed silent in meetings to avoid punishment, or delayed updating LinkedIn out of fear, this episode offers solidarity, clarity, and a path forward.

Bonus episodes

Listener Letters are real stories submitted by the Other Box community, sharing lived experiences of navigating toxic workplaces and narcissistic dynamics. Each letter is anonymised, read aloud, and followed by expert insight from clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani. Together, we unpack the behavioural patterns at play and share tools for clarity, support and recovery.

We hope these real-life accounts allow you to recognise the signs sooner and start focusing on how to reclaim your life.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources.

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever dealt with an HR team that protects toxic leaders and silences the people they hurt? In this episode of Narcissism at Work, we explore how narcissism can show up not just in individuals but in entire systems. From performative DEI to HR structures that enable abuse, we unpack how power and progressive language can be used as tools of control. While many HR teams do great work, we’re focusing on what happens when that’s not the case.

This week, I’m joined by Dr. Daksha Hirani and special guest Raakhi, Other Box’s HR consultant, to explore what happens when toxicity becomes institutionalised and what needs to change.

What we cover:

• Why harmful behaviours often go unchallenged, especially when "golden" employees bring in revenue or hold a high status.
• The myth of HR neutrality and how internalised fear can prevent necessary action.
• The role of NDAs and settlement agreements in silencing victims.
• How narcissists exploit race, gender, neurodivergence, and other identities for performative allyship.
• How to spot red flags in leaders and avoid becoming a “flying monkey.”
• The importance of documentation, pattern recognition, and building peer support.
• Tools like S.T.U.F. (Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, Feelings) to reconnect with your truth.

References and Frameworks Mentioned

• CRAP: (Criticism, Rejection, Abandonment, Punishment) core fears exploited in narcissistic abuse.
• FOG: (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) tactics used by narcissists to manipulate.
• S.T.U.F: (Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, Feelings) a self-awareness tool to ground yourself in reality.
• "Flying Monkeys": Narcissistic abuse term for bystanders who unknowingly enable the abuser.

Quote Highlights

• “Your workplace culture is your reputation.” Raakhi Tanvi
• “You are not making this S.T.U.F up. You know what you know.” Dr. Daksha Hirani
• “Even if you can’t name names, you can still speak your truth.” Leyya Sattar

Why it matters:

HR is often positioned as the safeguard of workplace wellbeing, yet too often, it becomes the buffer that protects toxic leaders and colleagues instead of the people they harm. When toxicity infiltrates HR, the very systems meant to ensure fairness, safety, and accountability can end up enabling abuse and silencing staff. By exploring this tension, we wanted to show how systemic narcissism hides in plain sight and what needs to shift to rebuild trust, integrity, and actual inclusion at work.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.