This week on Need Not Apply, we flip the script.
We’re usually telling these stories from behind the counter... but this time, we’re stepping into our other role: the customers. Same chaos, same entitlement… just viewed from the opposite side of the register.

We kick things off with Groundhog Day logic, global listeners (shoutout Japan 🇯🇵), dash cam supremacy after Gina’s car takes a direct hit from flying ice, and a brief campaign to abolish Mondays entirely. From there, we wade straight into customer-land where logic goes to die.

🧾 This Week’s Stories (Linked Below)

🍧 A man confidently declares that “vegan means artificial” while interrogating a gelato employee who deserves a raise and a medal
🍽️ A full-grown man throws a holiday tantrum after being asked to move tables — and somehow decides it’s discrimination
🥪 A Walmart sandwich maker completely loses it, hands out BOGO subs like a man possessed, then corners Gina for her number while her boyfriend hides several aisles away
🥐 A hotel clerk attempts to gaslight a couple out of a paid breakfast, turning $10 into a full-blown customer service endurance test

And because that wasn’t enough, we break things up with some truly unhinged news:

This week’s news & distractions include:

🌍 The Wallace Line — the invisible boundary that keeps Asian and Australian wildlife mysteriously separated
🧪 Romans using human feces as medicine (yes, really — and they added herbs to help with the smell)

🎵 Neil Young pulling his music from Amazon and giving his entire catalog to Greenland for free☕ Vietnamese police seizing tons of fake coffee made from soybeans instead of actual coffee
🕷️ Pelican spiders — ancient assassin spiders that hunt other spiders with horrifying patience | IG Reel
🎮 Google’s new AI world generator that has game developers and investors quietly panicking

As always, we spiral, we laugh, we question humanity, and we try to make sense of why being a customer somehow turns people feral.

📩 Have a work story, customer horror, or public meltdown we need to hear?
Send it to neednotapplypod@gmail.com

📲 Follow us on Instagram & TikTok: @NeedNotApplyPod
▶️ YouTube: Need Not Apply Podcast

Don’t forget to punch out — we’ll see you at the water cooler. 💧

Some weeks call for a theme. Others call for survival. This week is both.
Gina’s dealing with a brutal lower-back/nerve flare-up (so if you hear the pain-politeness fighting for dominance… that’s why), Gary’s running on late-Sunday-night fumes, and Juniper is living her best life in the background like nothing is wrong.

So instead of forcing one neat topic, we went full “Reddit’s Greatest Hits”: a little workplace chaos, a little office entitlement, a little hospitality horror, and one job interview moment so aggressively unhinged it feels like a deleted scene from a comedy movie. Basically: the perfect episode to keep you company while you’re doom-scrolling, meal-prepping, or trying not to spiral over the week ahead.

🧠 This Week’s Stories (Reddit’s Greatest Hits)

• A coworker who can’t stop commenting on someone’s outfits — so OP starts replying to every “compliment” with a sad, traumatic story until the comments mysteriously stop 👗😬

• A post-holiday lunch where OP forgets a dentist appointment… and a coworker decides that taking an Uber by choice means OP should reimburse him (and then starts a petty campaign at work) 🚗💸

• A hotel guest who insists he has a “right to be naked,” stalks housekeeping in the hallway, threatens staff, and somehow turns a routine shift into a full-on “call the cops” saga 🏨🚨

• A job candidate who tries to stand out in an interview by chugging an entire bottle of hot sauce… and promptly discovers that “handling the heat” is not a marketable skill 🌶️🤢

📰 News & Pop Culture Break

Why people blink less when they’re actually listening 👀
Do redheads feel pain differently? (Science says: maybe, kind of, it’s complicated) 🧬
England moves to ban boiling lobsters alive 🦞
A potential nasal-drop treatment for aggressive brain cancer 🧠
Pistachio’s quiet takeover of desserts, coffee, and culture (Big Pistachio strikes again) 🌰
Google’s Gemini AI enters the shopping chat — and why that makes us uneasy 🤖🛒

If you like your workplace stories messy, your management decisions questionable, and your interviews unforgettable for all the wrong reasons — this episode is for you.

🧾 New episodes every Wednesday at 5 AM
📩 Send us your stories: NeedNotApplyPod@gmail.com
📲 Follow us on Instagram and TikTok: @neednotapplypod

✅Follow us on YouTube: @NeedNotApplyPodcast

See you at the water cooler… and please, for the love of God, keep your clothes on in public spaces. 🧊👔🏃‍➡️

Welcome back to Need Not Apply! This week’s episode is brought to you by snowstorms, broken internet, audio-only chaos, and a single stink bug named Charlie who simply refuses to die. We kick things off with holiday burnout in full swing: shoveling six inches of snow, ISP conspiracy theories, streaming disasters, and recording without cameras for the first time in 50+ episodes. Add in surprise holiday shifts, accidentally showing up to work when the office is closed, and the forced cheer of the season — and suddenly it’s beginning to look a lot like please send help.

Then we lean fully into the holiday theme, because nothing says festive like retail trauma, unhinged customers, and office parties that absolutely should not have included alcohol. From Black Friday insanity to Christmas parties that end with police involvement, this episode is proof that holiday spirit is real… it’s just usually weaponized.

🧾 Story Time

• The 50-Cent Candle Warmer Meltdown — a customer goes feral over pocket change… until a random angel shopper hits her with the most iconic “here’s 75 cents, rethink your life” mic drop.

• The Holiday Party That Summoned the Cops — BYO beer turns into “underage drinking suspected,” the cops get called, Secret Santa gets cancelled, and everyone leaves with their wrapped gifts like it’s evidence.

• AITA: Inappropriate Question at the Work Holiday Party — one manager, one younger coworker, and a situation that goes from “friendly” to HR-coded real fast.

• • Loss Prevention Tug-of-War: Retail Edition — alarms blaring, a duffel bag of product, and a full-on wrestling match (hands-free theft prevention, allegedly) with over $1,300 on the line.

  
  

  🗞️ The News Desk That Shouldn’t Be Allowed Near A Microphone

  
  

  • NYC Food Influencer Arrested for Dine-and-Dashing
  A New York City food influencer allegedly films upscale restaurant meals, posts the content, and then tries to leave without paying — reigniting the long-standing tension between restaurants and influencers who expect “exposure” to cover the check.

  • Your Best Ideas Might Happen Right Before You Fall Asleep
  A discussion around the hypnagogic state — the half-dream, half-awake zone where creativity spikes and your brain briefly does its best work before passing out.

  • Metformin’s Effects on the Brain
  After more than 60 years, researchers are finally mapping how metformin works, discovering its effects may be rooted in the brain, not just the body — raising ethical and scientific questions about testing and long-term use.

  • Jamie Dimon Says These Skills Are “AI-Proof” (For Now)
  The JP Morgan CEO claims emotional intelligence, leadership, and judgment will remain valuable over the next five years — after that, all bets are off.