Why isn't setting sexual intentions a thing?

You set goals for your career, health, finances, relationships. But your sex life? That's supposed to just... happen naturally?

That's bullshit. Everything that matters requires intention. That includes your sex life.

In this episode, Stacey walks you through how to set sexual intentions that actually mean something —not vague wishes, but real, specific intentions you can act on.

In this episode:

• Why setting sexual intentions is a great idea

• Questions you should ask yourself

• Knowing what you control vs. what needs partner buy-in

• Pitfalls and ways you could f*ck it up

Download the worksheet.

Willing to share? Pop over to Substack. And share one of your intentions. Because when you say it out loud, even to strangers on the internet, it becomes more real.

💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind
https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/

This is the final episode in our 6-part series on erectile dysfunction.

Over the past five weeks, we've talked about the weight, the mechanics, the conversations, what partners experience, and sex beyond erections. But we haven't talked about… wanting.

One casualty of ED is desire. You stop letting yourself want. No fantasizing or anticipation. No imagining or longing. You disconnect from this part of yourself because wanting something you don't think you can have feels too painful.

But when you disconnect from desire to protect yourself from disappointment, you don't just lose sex. You lose something essential —aliveness.

In this episode, Stacey explores how to let yourself want again.

In this episode:

• How shutting down sexual desire bleeds all over your life

• The difference between arousal and desire

• Gifting yourself permission to want

• Desire in its most valid form is to "own the wanting."

You don't need a body that works like it used to. You just need to let yourself feel again.

💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind
https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/

Most of us learned that sex = penetration. Everything else? Foreplay. Warmup. Extra. But that model is outdated, limiting, and honestly? It's been sidelining everyone's pleasure for way too long.

But you should know that a soft penis is a functional penis. Soft penises can give pleasure and receive pleasure. And when you decentralize erections, a world of pleasure opens up.

In this episode, Stacey gets explicit about what sex can look like when penetration isn't on the menu—not as a consolation prize, but as genuinely satisfying, delicious sex.

In this episode:

• Why de-centering erections improves pleasure for all

• Shifting from goal-oriented to pleasure-oriented sex

• Delicious examples of what sex can look like with or without an erection

This isn't settling. It's expansion.

Next week: Part 6, the last episode in this series. Reclaiming desire and starting anew.

💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/

📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook

📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind
https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/