Épisodes

  • Why Saying No Feels Like Danger: The Nervous System Truth

    Why Saying No Feels Like Danger: The Nervous System Truth
    Dec 12 2025
    What if the reason we can't say no isn't a willpower problem—but a nervous system problem? In Part 2 of this raw, unscripted conversation, Dr. Aimie Apigian and her friend Jalon Johnson go deeper into what actually happens inside our body when we try to set a boundary. This isn't theory—it's two people sharing what it felt like to rehearse conversations for days, to brace for rejection, and to genuinely believe the world might end if they said no to family. From the realization that we've been having hour-long arguments with people entirely in our heads, to the moment the sun still came up after saying "I'm not coming," this episode gets honest about why boundaries feel like pulling the pin on a grenade—and what changes when we finally let it go. In this episode you'll hear more about: The conversations we have that never actually happen: Dr. Aimie's revelation that she would spend hours—sometimes days—rehearsing both sides of a conversation with someone, anticipating their response, forming rebuttals, all before saying a single word out loud. The exhausting mental gymnastics of trying to manage someone else's reaction before it even exists.Why "no" feels like a threat to survival: Jalon's insight that if you've never been comfortable saying no, your nervous system treats it like danger. The activation, the bracing, the preparing for impact—it's not dramatic, it's protective. And it makes sense when we understand what we learned in childhood."No with a period is a complete sentence": The reframe Jalon's first therapist gave him that he's carried ever since—and why most of us still struggle to say no without attaching explanations, justifications, and apologies to soften the blow we're sure is coming.The world didn't end—and that changed everything: Dr. Aimie's experience of finally setting the boundary, bracing for disaster, and then... nothing. The sun came up. The family moved on. And she was able to show up as the person she actually wanted to be instead of the drained, resentful version running on empty.Self-care feels frightening when you've never done it: Why taking care of ourselves can feel more threatening than burning out, and how building tolerance to rest—just like building tolerance to anything new—takes practice, not perfection.Asking "why" until you get the real answer: The technique both Dr. Aimie and Jalon use to get beneath the surface reason—asking why five, six, seven times until the truth finally shows up. Dr. Aimie's application of this to her emotional eating patterns and what she discovered underneath the hunger. Setting a boundary isn't about having the perfect words or the right explanation. It's about recognizing that the discomfort we feel isn't proof we're doing something wrong—it's proof we're doing something new. Our nervous system learned that saying no was dangerous. It will take time to teach it otherwise. And in the meantime, we can hold both: the part that's terrified and the part that knows we need this. 🎧 This is Part 2 of Dr. Aimie's conversation with Jalon Johnson. If you missed Part 1, it's linked below—we talked about the exhausting reality of showing up to family gatherings after we've changed and they haven't. Part 3 goes deeper into the hustle: why we push ourselves to prove our worth and what happens when our body finally says "enough." 🎙️ Check out this week's main episode, Why Trauma Returns in Midlife: A Chinese Medicine Lens with Dr. Lorne Brown 💭 Where in our life are we still rehearsing conversations that haven't happened yet? What would it feel like to just say no—and let them have their reaction? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube—it takes two minutes and means more than you know. Thank you for being here.
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    13 min
  • Why Trauma Returns in Midlife: A Chinese Medicine Lens

    Why Trauma Returns in Midlife: A Chinese Medicine Lens
    Dec 9 2025
    Chinese medicine may help explain why stored trauma causes old patterns to resurface when we least expect it. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Lorne Brown, a leader in integrative reproductive health and Chinese medicine who brings 25 years of clinical experience to the conversation. We explore the concept of qi stagnation and how it aligns with chronic functional freeze. Dr. Brown explains why the body stores overwhelming experiences in layers as a survival mechanism, and why that strategy begins to unravel around midlife when our resources shift. If you're in perimenopause or menopause and noticing old symptoms or emotions stirring again, this conversation offers a new lens for understanding what the body is trying to communicate. In this episode you'll learn: [00:02:00] The Body's Layered Storage System: How Chinese medicine understands stored trauma as a three-layer defense mechanism designed to protect our vital organs [00:05:30] Why Around Age 40, Everything Changes: The body stops using resources to suppress stored energy and begins asking us to finally process it [00:08:00] Perimenopause as a Tipping Point: Why hormone fluctuations shrink our window of tolerance and reveal what we've been holding [00:11:32] The Second Spring: Chinese medicine's perspective on menopause as a spiritual awakening where resources redirect to the heart center [00:13:24] Qi Stagnation & Functional Freeze: The connection between stuck energy and chronic patterns of protection in the nervous system [00:17:00] The Radio Metaphor: How emotions are meant to move through us like a song, and what happens when we hit repeat [00:21:14] When Healed Trauma Returns: Why perimenopause can bring back symptoms and emotions we thought we'd resolved [00:28:40] Safety as the Foundation: Why Chinese medicine agrees that creating safety is the essential first step for allowing stagnation to move [00:34:44] Sound, Laser & Frequency Medicine: Tools that bypass the mind and work directly with the cells and nervous system [00:43:07] Notice, Accept, Choose Again: Dr. Brown's NAC process for metabolizing uncomfortable feelings and restoring flow Main Takeaways Emotions are the number one cause of disease in Chinese medicine. The classic Stored trauma is intelligent, not broken. The body stores overwhelming experiences to protect us. This isn't a fault—it's a brilliant survival mechanism that keeps strong emotions from reaching vital organs where serious disease develops. Around age 40, the body changes its strategy. Resources that once kept difficult experiences suppressed get redirected toward longevity. The body essentially says: "You're not four anymore. It's time to deal with this." Perimenopause reveals capacity gaps. Hormone fluctuations create internal stress. If our window of tolerance is already narrow, perimenopause shrinks it further—and stored patterns surface as symptoms. Qi stagnation is functional freeze. When we resist, suppress, or fight what we feel, energy gets stuck in tissues. When we allow feelings to move through us, we restore flow and health. Safety creates the conditions for release. Without felt safety, the body contracts and stagnation deepens. Creating safety—through breath, movement, acupuncture, sound—allows the system to finally let go. The healing journey is ongoing. If something still triggers a somatic response, there's more work to do. This isn't failure—it's an opportunity to clean up the system and restore flow. Notable Quotes "It's not always the situation that causes the experience inside. It's how you perceive it." "When we're children, we don't have the capacity to process and metabolize these strong emotions. But as we get older, the body eventually says, you need to deal with this." "It's in the name—emotion. Energy in motion. So emotions are you feeling the flow of qi in your body." "You have to feel it to heal it. And if you resist it, it persists." "I don't care if you've worked it a million times. If it still has a somatic response, that's your message from your body that you get to work it one million and one times." Episode Takeaway This conversation gave me language for something I've felt in my own body for years. Dr. Brown's explanation of why the body stores overwhelming experiences in layers—and why it eventually stops spending resources to keep them hidden—makes so much sense when I think about what happens around midlife. For so long, I resisted my own freeze response. I hated it. I didn't want to accept it or feel it. And yet it was always there, waiting for me. What I've come to understand, and what Dr. Brown articulates so beautifully through the lens of Chinese medicine, is that resistance creates stagnation. Fighting what we feel amplifies it. The invitation here isn't to dig up the past or analyze every event. It's simpler than that: when something surfaces, can we notice it without taking it personally? Can we let it move through rather than ...
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    50 min
  • Frozen in Success: The Biology of Staying Stuck in Survival with Dr. Aimie Apigian

    Frozen in Success: The Biology of Staying Stuck in Survival with Dr. Aimie Apigian
    Dec 2 2025
    Many high-achieving people look successful on the outside while part of them remains frozen in childhood survival patterns. Through the Biology of Trauma® lens, I share how trauma disrupts the natural flow and movement of life—and the healing roadmap that takes us from stuck to truly alive. If we've ever wondered why we can reach every external goal and still feel disconnected from our own life, this episode explains why. I share Elena's story, a 45-year-old Chief Operating Officer whose autoimmune diagnosis revealed what her body had been holding for decades. When her thirteen-year-old daughter had thoughts of suicide—and felt she couldn't talk to her mom—Elena finally understood: a part of her had been frozen since before she could walk. We'll explore how nervous system dysregulation shows up as professional success masking emotional unavailability. We'll see how trauma stops our natural movement through life—and discover the six-step roadmap from survival to authenticity, belonging, and flow. In this episode you'll learn: [00:00] Why successful people can still be frozen in survival patterns from childhood [02:15] How Elena's birth trauma created a freeze response before she could walk [06:40] The moment her daughter's crisis revealed decades of emotional unavailability [09:10] Trauma defined: the biggest disruptor of movement in our life [12:45] Why everything inside us is movement—and what happens when trauma stops it [16:05] The healing destination: authenticity, belonging, and flow as what it means to be alive [19:50] Why state shifts matter more than neuroplasticity on your healing journey [24:05] How neuroplasticity wires in whatever state you're in—including overwhelm [26:30] The six-step roadmap: from "I am alive" to connection with others [28:15] How Elena broke the generational cycle with her daughters Main Takeaways: Trauma Is the Biggest Disruptor of Movement: Trauma isn't just an event—it's the shock that stops us. It disrupts movement at every level: physical, emotional, relational, and through our life stages. Successful and Frozen Can Coexist: High achievement doesn't mean our nervous system is regulated. Elena built an impressive career while part of her remained that terrified little girl, hiding and staying still to survive. State Shifts Come Before Neuroplasticity: Whatever state we're in is what neuroplasticity wires in. If we're frequently in stress and overwhelm, our brain builds pathways that make that pattern automatic. We must shift our state first. The Destination Is Authenticity, Belonging, and Flow: These three elements define what it means to be truly alive—free to be ourselves, grounded in connection, and moving with ease through life. You Can't Skip the Sequence: The roadmap follows a specific order: recognizing we're alive, choosing to live, shifting our state, being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and finally connecting with others. Each step prepares us for the next. Healing Breaks Generational Patterns: When Elena addressed her frozen patterns, her daughters noticed changes they never expected. The "resting bitch face" disappeared. Presence replaced absence. Notable Quotes: "Trauma becomes the biggest disruptor of movement in our life." "I can still see myself as a little girl, hiding with my dolls, quiet, still and absolutely terrified." "Whatever state we are in is what neuroplasticity wires in." "Being in calm alive can actually become a habit. Imagine that." "Your body's decision to freeze wasn't a failure—it was survival. But you don't have to stay frozen." "My 12-year-old girl didn't realize that I had grown up and that I am alive—which means that she did it. She made it. We're alive." Episode Takeaway: Frozen doesn't mean broken. Elena's story reveals what happens when trauma stops our natural movement through life—not just physical movement, but emotional presence, relational connection, and our ability to truly arrive in the life we've built. Her freeze response began at birth, reinforced through childhood, and showed up decades later as professional success masking emotional unavailability. Her daughters felt it. Her body felt it. Her autoimmune diagnosis confirmed it. The healing roadmap offers a way forward. First, we help that frozen part recognize we're alive—that survival happened. Then we consciously choose to live, rather than simply existing because we had no choice. We learn to shift our state into calm and aliveness, practicing until it becomes our new default. And finally, we move through the deeper work: being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and opening to genuine connection with others. Neuroplasticity works for or against us depending on our state. If overwhelm has become our habit, our brain has built pathways that take us there automatically. But when we build the habit of calm aliveness first, neuroplasticity starts working in our favor. The destination isn't ...
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    43 min
  • Family Boundaries and Dysfunction: How to Stay True to Yourself Around Family with Jalon Johnson

    Family Boundaries and Dysfunction: How to Stay True to Yourself Around Family with Jalon Johnson
    Dec 1 2025

    What if the hardest part of our healing journey isn't the inner work—but showing up to family gatherings after we've changed and our family hasn't?

    In this raw, unscripted conversation, Dr. Aimie Apigian sits down with her friend Jalon Johnson to talk about something most healing resources won't touch: the exhausting reality of being around family when we're no longer willing to play the role they expect. This isn't a polished teaching episode—it's two people figuring out in real time how to navigate people-pleasing, unspoken guilt, and the mental gymnastics of anticipating everyone's reactions while trying to stay true to who we've become.

    From recognizing the coping mechanisms we didn't know were coping mechanisms, to the practical strategy of getting our own hotel room, this episode gets honest about what it really takes to walk the "healthy lonely road" when our family is still stuck in old patterns.

    In this episode you'll hear more about:

    • The tradition trap and choosing ourselves: Why challenging family traditions makes us the "bad guy" even when those traditions are unhealthy, and how stepping outside the role we're "supposed to play" makes us a threat to people who haven't chosen us—they've just chosen the role
    • The coping mechanisms we didn't recognize: Dr. Aimie's realization that she would start craving numbing foods a full week before family events, recognizing now that overeating specific foods was her way of avoiding the uncomfortable feelings of misalignment and unspoken expectations
    • Titrating our presence—the hotel room strategy: Dr. Aimie's practical approach to family—not disappearing completely, but also not showing up in ways that leave us angry, resentful, and needing weeks to recover. Finding "what is enough" by getting her own hotel to reset her energy and maintain who she is without sabotaging the healing she's done
    • "I'm not going, and I don't owe an explanation": Jalon's boundary of simply not attending when his body tells him rest is needed, recognizing it only has to make sense to him—and the powerful reframe: "I don't want the next gathering of the family to be everybody at my funeral"
    • Boundaries expose, they don't create: Understanding that healthy boundaries will expose the conflict that was already underlying—the dysfunction was always there, we're just no longer pretending it isn't

    Our healing will change our relationships. That's not a warning, it's a guarantee. The question isn't whether our family will be uncomfortable with the new us—they will be. The question is: what boundaries will we set so we can stay true to ourselves without completely disconnecting from the people we love? This episode doesn't give us easy answers because there aren't any. But it gives us permission to get our own hotel room, to say "I'm not coming," and to recognize that choosing ourselves isn't selfish when the alternative is betraying everything we've worked so hard to heal.

    🎧 This is Part 1 of Dr. Aimie's conversation with Jalon Johnson. Part 2 will tackle why saying no feels like pulling the pin out of a grenade and what might actually happen when we set that boundary. Subscribe so you don't miss it.

    🎙️ Check out this week's main episode, Episode 149: Mind-Body Trauma Research: The Truth with Dr. Gabor Maté

    💭 What's the boundary we've been afraid to set because we're worried about what others will say? Sit with that question this week. And if you need the reminder: it only has to make sense to us.

    Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube—it takes two minutes and means more than you know. Thank you for being here.
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    15 min
  • Mind-Body Trauma Research: The Truth with Dr. Gabor Maté

    Mind-Body Trauma Research: The Truth with Dr. Gabor Maté
    Nov 25 2025
    Why does groundbreaking research on mind-body medicine disappear without a trace? How do emotional factors create conditions for chronic illness and autoimmune disease decades later? What happens when a Harvard study shows severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk—and the medical system simply ignores it? Dr. Gabor Maté joins me to discuss the writing process behind The Myth of Normal, his 19-week New York Times bestseller bringing together decades of research on trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and how emotional factors drive physical disease. We explore why mind-body unity—understood since Socrates 2,600 years ago—remains controversial in mainstream medicine despite overwhelming scientific evidence. Gabor addresses the most damaging misconception about his work: that he blames parents and patients. Whether we're trauma-informed practitioners, healing from chronic illness, or parents navigating guilt and shame, we'll understand why this conversation about mind-body medicine is finally reaching people—even when the medical system isn't ready. In this episode you'll learn: [01:59] The Myth of Normal Journey: How 10 years of research and 20,000 articles became a 500-page synthesis of trauma biology [04:00] Writing for Critics Made Me Sick: Why trying to convince skeptics creates the very trauma biology we're studying [06:00] Harvard's 1939 Buried Truth: Soma Weiss's lecture on emotional factors equaling physical factors—and why it's still ignored [07:42] PTSD Doubles Ovarian Cancer Risk: Harvard study the average gynecologist never read—and what it means for trauma healing [09:40] People Are Ready, Systems Aren't: Why this trauma revolution is happening at the grassroots level first [13:53] New York Times Bestseller Doesn't Equal Happiness: The personal lesson about achievement and inner state [16:00] The Biggest Misconception: Addressing the damaging claim that Gabor blames parents and patients for illness [18:00] ADHD, Genes, and Environment: Why genetic sensitivity plus stressed parents creates attention dysregulation—without blame Main Takeaways: Mind-Body Unity Isn't New Science: Socrates recognized 2,600 years ago that separating mind from body was medicine's fundamental error, and Harvard professor Soma Weiss lectured in 1939 that emotional factors equal physical factors in disease causation and healing. This isn't cutting-edge discovery—it's forgotten wisdom the medical system repeatedly buries. Scientific Evidence Disappears in the Bermuda Triangle: Hundreds of peer-reviewed studies demonstrate trauma's biological impact on chronic illness, autoimmune disease, and cancer risk, yet research doesn't change medicine when ideology creates blind spots. A Harvard study showed severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk, but the average gynecologist never reads it. Empowerment, Not Blame, Changes Lives: Understanding that stress affects multiple sclerosis relapse risk or that the environment acts on ADHD genes doesn't blame patients or parents—it empowers them. Knowledge of how trauma creates conditions for illness provides agency to address root causes rather than remaining passive recipients of symptomatic care. Mitochondrial Dysfunction Extends the Mind-Body Framework: While The Myth of Normal covers mind-body unity comprehensively, Biology of Trauma® goes deeper to subcellular levels—showing how trauma affects mitochondria, cellular energy production, and the biology underneath symptoms. Notable Quotes: "Socrates said 2,600 years ago in ancient Greece that the problem with the doctors today is they separate the mind from the body." "Emotional factors are at least as important in the causation of disease as physiological factors, and must be at least as important in the healing." (From the 1939 Harvard lecture) "You can have the same genes and have ADHD or not have ADHD. What makes the difference is how the environment acts on those genes." "Trauma is so ubiquitous in this culture and it's so poorly understood and addressed in the healing profession." "The change will happen at the level of people, not at the system. The people will demand the system change." Episode Takeaway: What struck me most in this conversation with Gabor is how the desperate need to convince skeptical colleagues stems from our earliest attachment patterns where authority figures' opinions determined our safety. This is why writing to prove ourselves to critics creates the very nervous system dysregulation our trauma work addresses. Mind-body unity isn't revolutionary new science—it's 2,600 years of wisdom that mainstream medicine repeatedly buries. When Harvard published research in 1939 showing emotional factors equal physical factors in disease, and recent studies demonstrate severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk, the medical system's silence isn't about lack of evidence but about ideological blind spots. The revolution happening now shows people are ready for this ...
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    24 min
  • Why You Crave Sugar When Overwhelmed: The Biology of Freeze & Avoidance

    Why You Crave Sugar When Overwhelmed: The Biology of Freeze & Avoidance
    Nov 22 2025
    What if your sugar cravings, need to clean, urge to call a friend, or desire to put on a movie while working aren't just procrastination—but your nervous system desperately trying to help you avoid drowning in emotions that feel too intense to face? In this mini episode, Dr. Aimie gets vulnerable about discovering a new level of chronic functional freeze in herself—sharing the exact moment she found herself staring at chocolate muffins on a grocery app, salivating, recognizing her body was scrambling to decrease the intensity of overwhelm. This episode reveals something critical about stored trauma: what looks like busyness or distraction is actually your biology's attempt to create distance when stress feels bigger than your capacity. And recognizing these patterns is the first step to having choice instead of falling into them unconsciously. In this episode you'll hear more about: The capacity equation: Why overwhelm and freeze kick in when the stress you're experiencing feels so much bigger than your current capacity—it's not a choice, it's your body going into protection mode to keep you from drowning The chocolate muffin moment: Dr. Aimie's raw account of craving chocolate muffins while on a carnivore diet, recognizing her nervous system was reaching for sugar to numb panic—and the biology of why sugar and gluten bind opiate receptors just like Vicodin to decrease emotional pain The pattern of disconnection: How chronic functional freeze shows up as avoidance of emotions through creating distance—sugar cravings first, then calling friends to focus on them instead of you, then cleaning and organizing anything to avoid sitting still with the stress Why high performers miss their freeze: How being productive and getting stuff done can mask storage trauma in your body—you look fine to everyone else while struggling internally with focus, efficiency, and feeling stuck trying to push through The distraction cascade: What happens when your nervous system can't get the chocolate muffins—it moves through the list: call a friend (focus on their needs), clean something (create busy work), put on a movie (split your attention), go to bed early (escape it all) The biology of avoidance behaviors: Understanding that reaching for distractions isn't weakness or poor discipline—it's your nervous system literally scrambling for anything that will decrease intensity so you don't feel like you're drowning in your inner emotions Why it looks healthy but isn't: How going to bed early, cleaning, and helping friends can appear like self-care and productivity when they're actually signs of freeze response—trying to run away and create distance from what feels too big From no choice to real choice: How recognizing these patterns as messages from your body creates space for different decisions—before awareness, you were falling into chocolate muffins and distractions; after awareness, you can see what your body really needs (to know you're going to be okay) The growth edge opportunity: Why being at your edge in overwhelm isn't doom and gloom—it's actually your opportunity to expand capacity so you can hold more stress without going into freeze, transforming your relationship with the freeze response entirely The patterns of pain and protection: Where to find the full framework in Chapter 9 of The Biology of Trauma, including disconnection, perfectionism, push-through philosophy, chronic fatigue, and autoimmunity as predictable patterns of stored trauma Your busyness isn't always about being busy. Sometimes it's your nervous system trying to save you from drowning. But here's the truth: when you can recognize the chocolate muffin craving, the urge to clean, the need to focus on someone else, or the desire to split your attention with a movie as messages from your body—not failures or weaknesses—you gain choice. You can ask, "What do I really need right now? What is my body trying to tell me?" That recognition is powerful. That's what transforms freeze from something that controls you into something you move through, knowing you'll be okay and that this edge is actually your growth edge. 🎧 Want the full context? This mini episode expands on concepts from Episode #148: Why You Can't Sit Still: The Hidden Biology of Busyness. Go back and listen to that full episode for the complete framework on recognizing and working with freeze responses in your body. 📖 Want to go deeper? The Biology of Trauma book, Chapter 9 (page 116) provides the complete patterns of pain and protection framework for recognizing chronic functional freeze in yourself and others. Get your copy at biologyoftrauma.com/book 🔬 Ready to recognize your patterns? Explore more Biology of Trauma episodes on understanding your nervous system's protection patterns and expanding your capacity at biologyoftrauma.com
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    14 min
  • Why You Can't Sit Still: The Hidden Biology of Busyness

    Why You Can't Sit Still: The Hidden Biology of Busyness
    Nov 18 2025
    Discover how trauma lives in the body—and how the vagus nerve, nervous system shutdown, and somatic healing explain why stillness can feel unsafe. Through the Biology of Trauma® lens, Dr. Aimie shares the trauma response sequence and the Essential Sequence needed to heal stored trauma without overwhelm. If we've ever felt like we can't stop moving—like sitting still feels unsafe—this episode helps us understand why. I share Jess's story, a 45-year-old marketing director whose chronic busyness protected her from an 8-year-old's stored terror. When her 17-year-old daughter said, "Mom, we never really got to be together," Jess knew something had to change. We'll explore how nervous system dysregulation shows up as high-functioning exhaustion, emotional disconnection, and perfectionism. We'll see how trauma becomes biology—and why our body holds on until it feels safe enough to let go. In this episode you'll learn: [00:00] Why a "good childhood" doesn't guarantee a nervous system free of trauma [02:15] How Jess's busyness, weight gain, and exhaustion were signs of stored trauma [06:40] Why stillness feels unsafe when the body equates pausing with overwhelm [09:10] Thinking vs feeling: how living in your head blocks somatic trauma healing [12:45] The real definition of trauma: overwhelm inside the body, not just events [16:05] Startle → stress → freeze → shutdown: the trauma response sequence in the nervous system [18:40] How the vagus nerve turns overwhelm into a whole-body shutdown response [21:20] Overwhelm as biology: fatigue, gut issues, emotional eating, and chronic anxiety [24:05] Why somatic work can retraumatize you if you don't feel safe first [26:30] The essential safety sequence: safety → support → growth into calm aliveness [28:15] How Jess used the Foundational Journey to break the cycle with her daughter Main Takeaways: Trauma Happens Inside the Body: Trauma isn't defined by events—it's what happens inside of us when overwhelm outpaces our capacity to cope. Overwhelm Is Trauma Biology: When the size of the problems we face feels bigger than our resources, our nervous system shifts from stress into trauma—leading to freeze, shutdown, and hopelessness. Chronic Busyness and Perfectionism Can Be Functional Freeze: What looks like overachieving may actually be a protective response. Our body may be using busyness to avoid stored pain. The Vagus Nerve Makes Trauma Physical: It carries the signal of shutdown throughout our system—leading to fatigue, gut issues, disconnection, and a loss of aliveness. We Must Follow the Same Path Out That We Took In: Skipping straight to calm never works. True healing follows this path: Safety → Support → Expansion. Healing Breaks Generational Patterns: Jess's journey shows what becomes possible when we regulate our nervous system and choose presence over protection. Notable Quotes: "Trauma isn't what happened to us—it's what happened inside of us". "Busyness kept me safe. It kept me from drowning in emotions I couldn't process". "We have to follow the same path that our body took." "Our body holds its truth. Our mind tells us what it wants us to hear." "Safety first, then Support, then Expansion. You cannot skip the sequence." "Our body needs safety to come out of shutdown. Until we create that, it will stay closed." Episode Takeaway: Trauma isn't about what happened—it's about what overwhelmed our nervous system and pushed it into survival mode. Chronic busyness, perfectionism, and emotional disconnection are often signs our body is still trying to protect us. But when we follow the Essential Sequence—Safety, then Support, then Expansion—we can safely access and resolve what our body has been holding. Healing becomes possible when our body finally knows it's safe to feel, to rest, and to be present. Resources/Guides: Take the Attachment Pain Quiz: Discover your attachment patterns and how they show up in your nervous system Attachment Trauma Healing Roadmap: Get your personalized roadmap for healing attachment wounds Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional. Related Episodes: Episode 36: How to Integrate Somatic and Parts Work Part 1: Mind-Body Dialogue Questions with Dr. Aimie Apigian Episode 37: How to Integrate Somatic and Parts Work Part 2: Mind-Body Dialogue Questions with Dr. Aimie Apigian Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences ...
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    41 min
  • Health Avoidance and Oxidative Stress: The Dangerous Feedback Loop

    Health Avoidance and Oxidative Stress: The Dangerous Feedback Loop
    Nov 13 2025
    What if the reason you keep saying "I'm fine" isn't about denial or stubbornness—but about your nervous system being programmed to avoid looking at problems because looking feels too dangerous? In this mini episode, Dr. Aimie Apigian explores the powerful story Dr. Tom O'Bryan shared about Ray—a beloved janitor who said "I'm fine" for three years until the day he finally agreed to testing, pulled over on his way home, and died. This tragic story reveals something critical about trauma: avoidance isn't just psychological, it's a biological survival response. And it's creating a dangerous feedback loop where the very act of avoiding health problems generates more cellular damage through oxidative stress. This episode unpacks why trauma makes us afraid to look at our health, how this avoidance creates the exact biology that makes our problems worse, and most importantly—how to break free from the "I'm fine syndrome" through baby steps and biology repair. In this episode you'll hear more about: The "I'm fine syndrome": How Ray's story illustrates the deadly cost of health avoidance, and why so many people refuse testing even when symptoms are clear—it's not about money or time, it's about fear The first step of trauma: Understanding that avoidance is actually Step 1 of the body's instinctual trauma response (the startle), where blocking our threat assessment tells our body danger is real and escalates the survival response The oxidative damage cascade: Dr. Tom's powerful mousetrap analogy—976,000 mousetraps on a football field, one ping pong ball creating a cascade reaction of "pop, pop, pop"—exactly what's happening inside your cells when you avoid addressing health problems The avoidance-damage feedback loop: How saying "I'm fine" while avoiding health assessments creates more oxidative stress, which damages cells and DNA, which creates more danger signals, which makes you want to avoid even more—a vicious cycle driving disease development Why glyphosate matters for your future family: The shocking research showing 74% of men at fertility centers have glyphosate in their blood, with 300% higher levels in their semen, causing oxidative damage to sperm DNA that leads to 40% increased miscarriage rates and contributes to the autism epidemic (1 in 12 boys in California) The trauma-toxin connection: How stored trauma and toxic chemicals create the same biology—both generate oxidative stress that damages your mitochondria, immune system, and DNA, which is why trauma and toxins always go together as "sisters" or "best friends" Base hits win the ball game: Dr. Tom's strategy for men (and everyone) who feel overwhelmed—allocate one hour per week to learn about ONE health topic, make ONE change, and watch how baby steps transform your health in six months without trying to hit home runs The essential supplements for oxidative stress: What Dr. Tom takes when flying (GS packs with 22 nutrients) and what Dr. Aimie uses (vitamin C, NAC, and injectable NAD) to combat radiation exposure and cellular damage from travel and daily life The Total Tox Burden and Oxidative Stress Profile: The two tests everyone should know about to assess their cellular damage and toxic load before trying to start a family—and why being proactive prevents a lifetime of grief Why "I'm fine" is actually "I'm frozen": Understanding that health avoidance is your nervous system's way of protecting you from feeling powerless, but recognizing this pattern is the first step to building the courage to look and take action The three phases of safe detoxification: Why you must resource your body first, open drainage pathways second, and only then use active binders—jumping straight to celery juice or fasting can actually retraumatize your system The antioxidant repair toolkit: Starting with the fundamentals (vitamin C at 1,000mg, selenium at 200mcg, NAC at 2,000mg daily) plus lifestyle tools like red-light therapy, outdoor morning walks, colorful fruits and vegetables, and optimizing sleep in complete darkness The energy to leave toxic relationships: Why people can't leave toxic environments until they have the biological energy to do so—supporting the body's detoxification and energy production creates the capacity to clear out emotional toxins too 77% and 1 in 12: The devastating statistics that should wake us up—77% of military-age Americans are ineligible to serve due to obesity or cognitive decline, and 1 in 12 boys in California are diagnosed on the autism spectrum by age four, both driven by our toxic environment and the biology of trauma Your body isn't broken—it's trying to protect you from the pain of looking at what feels dangerous. But here's the truth: every moment you avoid looking at your health while saying "I'm fine," you're accumulating more oxidative damage. You're literally rusting from the inside. The good news? You don't have to take the whole mountain in one step. Baby steps—or as Dr. Tom says, ...
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    28 min