Épisodes

  • Intimacy, Breakups, and Dating in the Real World: A Conversation with Dr. Justin Garcia
    Jan 27 2026
    Dating and relationships have never been simple — but in today's world of apps, algorithms, and endless options, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. In this episode, I speak with Dr. Justin Garcia, Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and author of the upcoming book The Intimate Animal. We talk about what our biology can (and can't) tell us about love and desire, how technology is reshaping intimacy, and why breakups can hit so hard. We also get personal — sharing stories about grief, recovery, non-monogamy, and navigating love in the real world. Dr. Garcia brings a refreshingly nuanced perspective, blending science, lived experience, and a deep respect for the complexities of modern relationships. Topics Covered The biological basis of pair bonding and why love is a survival strategy How dating apps are changing the way we connect — and the pitfalls of infinite choice Non-monogamy, open relationships, and what science really says about them Breakups, heartbreak, and why they feel like addiction withdrawal Infidelity: what motivates it, and why it's often about secrecy more than sex Practical dating advice backed by years of research The neuroscience of attraction, and how foreplay, communication, and intention keep passion alive How personal experience shaped Dr. Garcia's latest work — including his own recent marriage and fatherhood Guest Bio Dr. Justin Garcia is an evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He's also the Chief Scientific Advisor for Match Group, guiding large-scale studies on modern relationships like the annual Singles in America survey. His research has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, TIME, and CNN, and his new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love will be released on January 27, 2026. Learn more: Kinsey Institute Bio – https://kinseyinstitute.org/about/staff/executive-director-justin-garcia.html Pre-order The Intimate Animal – https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/justin-r-garcia-phd/the-intimate-animal/9780316594035/ Resources Mentioned Singles in America study – https://www.singlesinamerica.com/ Kinsey Institute – https://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ Dr. Garcia's social media: Search "Dr. Justin Garcia" on major platforms or follow updates via the Kinsey Institute Key Takeaways Love and sex are biologically distinct but deeply intertwined. We're wired for long-term bonding, but novelty and desire often create tension within those bonds. Breakups are more than emotional — they're neurochemical. Love activates the brain's reward systems, and heartbreak can mimic drug withdrawal. Modern dating can feel overwhelming because our brains haven't evolved to handle endless digital choice. Intention and curiosity matter more than perfection. Non-monogamous relationships aren't inherently less loving or stable. They often demand high levels of communication and negotiation. Infidelity is less about desire and more about secrecy. Even in non-monogamous relationships, broken trust hurts. There's no perfect formula for love. Each connection is unique, and understanding yourself can help you show up better in relationships. Connect with Me Have a question, topic suggestion, or want to be a guest? Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://duffthepsych.com Contact form: https://duffthepsych.com/contact Please rate and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more people find the show!
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    1 h et 2 min
  • Compassionate and Effective Schizophrenia Care with Dr. Tracy Hicks
    Jan 20 2026

    In this episode, I'm honored to welcome Dr. Tracy Hicks, a dual-certified family and mental health nurse practitioner with over two decades of clinical experience—and a deeply personal connection to serious mental illness. Dr. Hicks is both the daughter of a parent and the mother of a child with schizophrenia spectrum disorders. Her perspective blends professional expertise with lived experience in a way that is both deeply compassionate and refreshingly practical.

    We talk about what schizophrenia really is (and isn't), the impact of stigma on individuals and families, and the importance of person-centered, empathetic care. Dr. Hicks shares her personal journey—raising a daughter with serious mental illness while navigating barriers in the healthcare system—and offers guidance for both providers and caregivers who want to better support those living with schizophrenia.

    This is a powerful and deeply human conversation for anyone touched by serious mental illness.

    Topics We Cover
    • What schizophrenia is and how it's commonly misunderstood

    • Growing up with a parent who has schizophrenia

    • Early warning signs and delays in diagnosis for her daughter

    • How stigma and systemic bias impact treatment access and quality

    • Long-acting injectable medications: what they are and why they matter

    • Creating space for curiosity and shared decision-making in care

    • How to support loved ones without losing yourself

    • Advice for providers on building trust and improving outcomes

    • The power of grace, boundaries, and self-care for caregivers

    Timestamps

    00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Tracy Hicks and her personal/professional background
    03:00 – From nursing to psychiatry: building a whole-person care model
    07:00 – Childhood memories of a parent with schizophrenia
    11:00 – Explaining what schizophrenia is and is not
    14:00 – Challenging stereotypes: what schizophrenia actually looks like
    18:00 – Early signs in Dr. Hicks' daughter and missed opportunities for intervention
    22:00 – Racism, bias, and provider assumptions
    24:00 – Treatment begins with the story, not the symptoms
    26:00 – Why empathy and curiosity matter more than credentials
    28:00 – The question that opens everything: "What's your goal for today?"
    32:00 – Including family and support systems in the care plan
    36:00 – Communication shifts that changed lives
    41:00 – What long-acting injectables are and how to present them as an option
    47:00 – Combating clinical inertia and provider bias
    51:00 – What Dr. Hicks would do differently as a parent
    54:00 – Creating your own space when the system doesn't serve you
    58:00 – Boundaries, burnout, and filling your own cup as a caregiver
    1:02:00 – Final thoughts on stigma, advocacy, and asking for what you need
    1:03:30 – Where to follow Dr. Hicks and access her work

    Guest Links
    • Website: https://www.cfcmentalhealthoutreach.org

    • Instagram: https://instagram.com/drhicksnp

    Stay Connected
    • Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

    • Send a message or question: https://www.duffthepsych.com/contact

    • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

    • Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

    If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could benefit. Conversations like this one can make a world of difference for people who feel alone in their experience.

    Until next time, take care of yourself.

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    1 h et 4 min
  • I Am Determined.
    Jan 12 2026

    In this episode, I share the absolute honest truth about my life at the moment. I also talk about my focus for this year, the phrases I can't get out of my head, and the things I'm grateful for from the last year.

    Let's do this.

    Got a question for the show? Email duffthepsych@gmail.com or head over the http://duffthepsych.com/contact.

    Watch the video at http://youtube.com/duffthepsych

    Follow me on Instagram at http://instagram.com/duffthepsych and Facebook at http://facebook.com/duffthepsych

    More writings and additional podcast content over at https://robertduff.substack.com/

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    17 min
  • A New Approach to OCD: Internal Family Systems w/ Melissa Mose
    Nov 10 2025
    In this deeply informative episode, I'm joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Mose, LMFT, who brings 30 years of clinical experience to the table and a unique approach to treating OCD by integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) with traditional methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Melissa shares how a personal experience—her daughter's sudden-onset OCD—propelled her into the world of OCD treatment and changed the direction of her career. We talk through how OCD manifests, why traditional ERP can be both life-changing and difficult for people, and how IFS can offer a more compassionate, effective way to approach healing by helping clients access their internal "Self." We also discuss Melissa's new book for clinicians, her training work, and the upcoming OCD SoCal Conference happening online on November 15–16, 2025. 🧠 What We Discuss in This Episode: Melissa's unexpected path from literature and mythology to psychotherapy The sudden-onset OCD experience with her daughter that changed everything What OCD really is – beyond stereotypes – and why it's often misunderstood Core concepts of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) How Internal Family Systems (IFS) works and its 8 C's of Self-energy Why combining IFS and ERP may provide better outcomes for some people "Self-led ERP" – Melissa's integrative model for treating OCD Real-life examples of recovery using this compassionate framework The importance of identifying OCD early, especially in kids Training efforts to help clinicians recognize and effectively treat OCD Hope for those who feel "too far gone" ⏱️ Episode Chapters & Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Melissa Mose and IFS for OCD 03:00 – Melissa's background and shift from English literature to psychology 08:00 – Early career in teen and family systems therapy 11:00 – Her daughter's sudden-onset OCD and the diagnosis of PANDAS 14:30 – Navigating confusion, misdiagnosis, and treatment discovery 18:00 – What OCD actually is: the obsession-compulsion cycle 22:00 – How compulsions generalize and worsen OCD 24:30 – Introduction to ERP and how it works 29:00 – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? 34:00 – Comparing IFS to ACT and other models 42:00 – Mapping OCD symptoms to internal "parts" using IFS 48:00 – A self-led approach to ERP: empowering the Self 50:30 – Client success stories and examples 55:00 – The rise of IFS in the OCD world 58:00 – Is IFS evidence-based for OCD? 01:00:00 – Melissa's "Self-led ERP" model explained 01:02:00 – Workbook and practical tools coming soon 01:04:00 – How to get started with IFS 01:08:00 – Inside Out, visualization, and self-awareness 01:10:00 – Making IFS for OCD more accessible worldwide 01:12:00 – Final thoughts: hope and next steps for those struggling 📚 Resources & Links from the Episode 🔹 Melissa Mose's Website https://www.melissamosemft.com/ 🔹 IFS for OCD Resources and Courses https://www.ifsforocd.com/blog 🔹 Melissa's Book: Internal Family Systems Therapy for OCD: A Clinician's Guide 📘 On Amazon: Buy here 📘 On Routledge: https://www.routledge.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-for-OCD-A-Clinicians-Guide/Mose/p/book/9781032583730 🔹 OCD SoCal 2025 Online Conference (November 15–16, 2025) 🌐 Full Program Info: https://ocdsocal.org/conference/ 🎟️ Register Here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2025-online-ocd-conference-a-global-event-tickets-1531193865069?aff=oddtdtcreator 🎧 Stay Connected with Me 💌 Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com 🌐 Website: https://duffthepsych.com 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
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    1 h et 17 min
  • Celeb Chef Chris Valdes on Mental Health in Kitchens
    Nov 3 2025

    In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he's faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself.

    Whether you're in food service, struggling with burnout, or just love a good story with heart and spice, this one's for you.

    Timestamps / Chapters:

    [00:00:00] Intro & Chris's background
    [00:03:00] Earliest food memory: the flan and whipped cream incident
    [00:06:45] Growing up in a family restaurant
    [00:08:30] Father's imprisonment and family disruption
    [00:13:00] Early entrepreneurial spirit (orange hustling!)
    [00:17:00] High school struggles & turning point with Le Cordon Bleu
    [00:23:00] Launching his catering company at 19
    [00:26:00] First experience with depression & thoughts of ending it
    [00:29:00] Hitting a wall after a breakup & GMA meltdown
    [00:33:00] Psychedelic healing ceremony in Malibu
    [00:38:00] Rediscovering self through solitude, therapy, and boundaries
    [00:43:00] Toxic kitchen culture and normalizing mental health discussions
    [00:47:00] Holiday catering chaos and internal pressure
    [00:52:00] Advice on rest, recovery, and choosing yourself
    [00:56:00] What's next: books, new management, and the slow lane
    [00:57:00] Signature nostalgic dish
    [00:59:00] Go-to Latin spices (cumin, garlic, cilantro)
    [01:01:00] What young Chris would say to 2025 Chris
    [01:02:30] Where to follow and final thoughts

    Links -
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chefchrisvaldes

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chefchrisvaldes

    His cookbook - One With the Kitchen: https://www.amazon.com/One-Kitchen-Recipes-stories-inspired/dp/0578886456

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    1 h et 3 min
  • Dr. Andrea Martinez Talks Gangs, Loss, Depression, and Learning Discernment.
    Oct 10 2025

    Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim.

    Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences with depression and suicidality, and her decision to build armor around her heart this year before diving back into the heart of academia and book-writing. I really hope you enjoy this one.

    In this conversation, Dr. Martinez mentions this book: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624

    Stay connected:

    Weekly newsletter: https://robertduff.substack.com – free tips, Q&A, and community updates.

    My website: https://duffthepsych.com – articles, resources, and ways to work with me.

    - Books & guides: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00NDY4THK?ccs_id=5c5cac88-b920-4fc3-809c-f592ad3b55d3 – practical mental-health guides and workbooks.

    - Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych – daily insights, behind-the-scenes, and community chats.

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    1 h et 15 min
  • The Podcast is Coming Back.
    Oct 1 2025
    Episode Summary:

    In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what's been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it's headed in.

    What You'll Hear In This Episode:
    • Why the podcast went quiet for a while

    • A behind-the-scenes look at the attempted acquisition of the show

    • The emotional and logistical toll of being let down by a potential deal

    • Reflections on past professional disappointments outside of clinical work

    • What's next: rebranding, new episode formats, and a stronger emphasis on interviews

    • Why connection and personal stories will be the heart of the podcast moving forward

    • Dr. Duff's renewed commitment to amplifying diverse voices and lived experiences

    • Updates on the "Bipolar Answers" audiobook and Substack content

    • Thoughts on staying consistent while prioritizing quality over quantity

    Timestamps:
    • 00:00 – 00:52 — Welcome back! What this episode is about

    • 00:52 – 02:00 — The podcast was almost sold—here's how it started

    • 02:00 – 03:26 — Meeting the company, expectations, and initial excitement

    • 03:26 – 06:04 — Multiple meetings and flying out to pitch in person

    • 06:04 – 08:00 — In-person meetings and positive vibes, but no details yet

    • 08:00 – 10:24 — Delays, excuses, and finally: the deal falls through

    • 10:24 – 12:25 — Processing the disappointment and reflecting on past letdowns

    • 12:25 – 13:21 — Token compensation offered, but trust was broken

    • 13:21 – 14:00 — What's next: staying open to future partnerships

    • 14:00 – 15:22 — New focus: interviews over general Q&A

    • 15:22 – 16:48 — The unique value of human connection in storytelling

    • 16:48 – 17:15 — Rebranding plans and more diverse guest features

    • 17:15 – 18:17 — Finishing the audiobook, editing, and prepping new interviews

    • 18:17 – 19:05 — Where to find Dr. Duff in the meantime and the new YouTube direction

    Links & Resources:
    • Website: https://duffthepsych.com

    • Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

    • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

    • Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

    • Substack: https://robertduff.substack.com

    Want to Help Relaunch the Show?

    If you're excited about the return of the podcast, be sure to subscribe, share the new episodes with your community, and leave a review wherever you listen. Every bit of support helps relaunch this phoenix from the ashes.

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    19 min
  • 437: Multicultural Identity, Somatic Healing, and Embodied Code Switching w/ Marcia Bonato Warren
    Apr 18 2025
    In this insightful interview, I'm joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body. Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book. This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world. Key Discussion Points: Marcia's multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture What it means to experience culture somatically when language isn't accessible The definition and practice of embodied code switching How somatic therapy works and how the body holds trauma, history, and healing Cultural embodiment and the importance of body-based awareness across social, emotional, and environmental realms The internal work of bridging identities that may feel in conflict Intergenerational trauma and healing as a form of cultural resilience Marcia's new book as a form of protest and empowerment amid sociopolitical turmoil The value of curiosity and reclaiming our sense of wonder Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Marcia and her multicultural upbringing 04:30 – Advocating through names and early sense of identity 09:00 – Growing up between cultures and learning through somatic experience 14:00 – Noticing what it feels like to "not belong" in any cultural space 17:00 – The physical experience of fitting in (or not) 20:00 – What is somatic counseling and body-based psychotherapy? 24:00 – Holding multiple identities and forming relationships between them 28:00 – Embodied code switching: definitions and origins 35:00 – Identity, trauma, and resilience in the nervous system 40:00 – Diversity, empathy, and learning across differences 43:30 – Somatics, symbolism, and healing in therapy 47:00 – Marcia's career in advocacy and transition to therapy 52:00 – Her new book as resistance and hope in a polarized world 58:30 – Book structure, audience, and why it matters now 1:06:00 – Final reflections on curiosity, awareness, and personal power Guest Links: Website: https://www.embodiedculture.com Book Info & Resources: https://www.embodiedcodeswitching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marciabonatowarren Buy the Book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Movement-Identity-Multiculturalism-Awareness-Code-Switching/dp/1839978376 Contact Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or tagging me on social to let me know your thoughts. And if Marcia's story resonated with you, I'd love to hear how this conversation landed.
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    1 h et 10 min