In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format.

The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment.

The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection.

As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark or uncertain times.

• The complexities of publishing a memoir about trauma and abuse

• Understanding the impact of complex PTSD and generational trauma

• Navigating family threats and estrangement with personal boundaries

• Grieving the loss of an idealized future after divorce

• Why happiness doesn’t have to look how you thought it would

• Tips for finding support and resilience as a single parent

• The value of community, therapy, and chosen family

00:00 – Intro and personal update
03:00 – Content warning for the first question
04:05 – Listener story: Surviving severe childhood abuse and family rejection
07:00 – Dr. Duff reflects on complex PTSD and trauma recovery
08:30 – The power of isolation in abusive systems
10:00 – Complicated dynamics with the listener’s mother
11:30 – Should I publish my book about my trauma?
13:00 – Weighing the risks and benefits of publishing under a pseudonym
14:30 – Standing in your truth despite family pushback
15:00 – Listener story: Facing loneliness and doubt after divorce
16:30 – Grieving the version of life you hoped for
18:00 – Family disappointment and changing dynamics
19:30 – The importance of time and realistic expectations
21:00 – Children often remember things differently than we expect
22:00 – Challenging fatalistic thoughts about the future
23:30 – Modeling resilience and authenticity for your kids
24:30 – Final thoughts and encouragement

• Episode 130: Complex PTSD – What It Is and How to Recover

• YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• More mental health content at: https://www.duffthepsych.com

Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Reach out any time:

📧 Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com
🌐 Website: duffthepsych.com
📷 Instagram: instagram.com/duffthepsych
📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@duffthepsych

If you’ve gotten something out of the podcast and haven’t left a review yet, now’s a perfect time—especially if you’re an Apple Podcasts listener. We're close to hitting 1,000 reviews, and every one helps others find the show and supports the mission of accessible mental health content.

Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!

Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/

In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder.

Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience.

Timestamps:

• [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon!

• [02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations.

• [03:00] – Full reading of the book’s introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I.

• [18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode.

• [24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder.

• [37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases.

Key Takeaways:

• Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice.

• Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown.

• Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference.

• The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them.

Connect with Dr. Robert Duff:

• Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.

Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking steps toward healing and self-acceptance.

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Understanding why trauma responses persist and how they impact daily life

• The role of avoidance in PTSD and how to begin addressing it

• Practical strategies for tackling overwhelming life changes

• How to communicate with a therapist about deeply buried trauma

• The importance of seeking trauma-informed therapy and possible medication options

• Exposure techniques for gradually confronting PTSD triggers

• Journaling as a tool for processing trauma at your own pace

• Overcoming embarrassment when experiencing emotional reactions in public

• Using gratitude as a way to shift focus from shame to connection

• Coping strategies to regulate emotions and build resilience

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction & request for listener questions
02:00 – Listener question: Living in a house that triggers PTSD
05:00 – Why trauma responses persist and the role of avoidance
10:00 – Communicating openly with a therapist about severe trauma
12:00 – Seeking trauma-informed therapy and medication considerations
16:00 – Making an actionable plan to move forward and sell the house
21:00 – Practical steps to start addressing home repairs and tasks
22:00 – Listener question: Managing PTSD emotional reactions in public
24:00 – Using gratitude to counter feelings of shame and embarrassment
27:00 – Grounding techniques and exposure exercises to build resilience
30:00 – The importance of seeking support from others
32:00 – Closing thoughts & listener engagement request

Connect with Me:

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace.

• Terri’s journey from talent agent to psychotherapist

• Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself

• How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency

• The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns

• Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies

• The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no

• How to conduct a resentment inventory and why it’s helpful

• Addressing difficult family dynamics around social and political issues

• How Terri’s book, Too Much, can help you break free from codependency

00:00 – Introduction to Terri Cole and her background
01:00 – How Terri transitioned from talent agent to psychotherapist
16:00 – Recognizing high-functioning codependency
25:00 – Childhood & societal influences on codependency
30:00 – The importance of self-awareness and therapy
39:00 – Practical tools for overcoming codependency
42:00 – Navigating difficult family dynamics
49:00 – Setting boundaries and learning to say no
52:00 – Conducting a resentment inventory
58:00 – How Too Much can help you break free

• Too Much by Terri Cole: https://www.terricole.com

• High-Functioning Codependency Toolkit: https://www.terricole.com/HFC

• Mastermind program (Flourish): https://www.terricole.com/flourish

• Terri’s membership community: https://www.terricole.com/TCM

• The Terri Cole Show Podcast: https://www.terricole.com/podcast

• Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

Episode 431: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Coaching & Persistent Depression

Welcome to another episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Dr. Robert Duff! In this Q&A episode, Dr. Duff tackles two insightful listener questions on very different but equally important mental health topics.

A listener working as an individual sports coach seeks advice on how to best support a talented but highly resistant student who displays signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Dr. Duff dives into:

• What PDA is and how it manifests in individuals, particularly in relation to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions.

• The importance of reframing PDA as a high drive for autonomy rather than defiance.

• Practical coaching strategies to work around demand avoidance, including collaborative goal setting, offering choices, and making training sessions more engaging and playful.

• The significance of open-ended questions and genuine curiosity in understanding the root of a student’s resistance.

A listener describes their struggle with long-term, low-grade depression despite attempts with medication and therapy. Dr. Duff provides insights into:

• Understanding Persistent Depressive Disorder (formerly known as dysthymia) and how it differs from episodic major depression.

• Behavioral activation as a treatment approach, including strategies for identifying and engaging in potentially enjoyable activities despite a lack of motivation or pleasure.

• The five-minute rule to help overcome resistance to activities.

• Medication considerations, including alternatives like Wellbutrin (bupropion) and the combination drug Auvelity, which may have fewer side effects.

• Non-medication treatments such as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and ketamine therapy.

• The importance of evaluating life circumstances to identify external contributors to chronic depression, such as hidden identity struggles or unsatisfying relationships.

[00:00] Intro and updates on Dr. Duff’s upcoming bipolar book
[03:00] Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in coaching
[12:00] Strategies for engaging students with PDA
[14:00] Question 2: Chronic low-grade depression and treatment options
[19:00] Behavioral activation and the five-minute rule
[23:00] Medication alternatives and non-pharmacological treatments
[27:00] Life circumstances and their role in persistent depression
[28:00] Outro and listener support requests

• Dr. Duff’s website: http://duffthepsych.com

• Email your questions: duffthepsych@gmail.com

• Follow Dr. Duff on Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

• Dr. Duff’s book “Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression”: https://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Depression/dp/B01J4H5A40

• Previous episodes on TMS and ketamine treatments: http://duffthepsych.com/podcast

• More on ketamine treatments: https://duffthepsych.com/ect-and-ketamine/

Thank you for tuning in! If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with a friend or leaving a review. Your support helps the podcast grow and reach more people who need it. See you next time!