Why don't you talk about your struggle with depression?

You may have lots of reasons, or excuses, or justifications. But I found out by reading the responses on (what I'm honored to say) is a viral TEDx talk, "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression", that so many of us need to know that this struggle is common - and doesn't have to be hidden.

Some of those reasons are: "It came on so gradually, I didn't notice," or, "I don't trust doctors," or "I"m afraid what will happen if I talk about a mental health struggle."

Today I answer the question of why you don't talk about your depression, and give you solid reasons why most of those justifications are just that... justifications. Not rational reasons. It' s not easy.... but there are so many benefits to seeking understanding and help.

HealthLine article on common hurdles to revealing depression

Andrew Solomon’s TED talk

Ten traits of perfectly hidden depression

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Do you feel guilty for not doing enough? Many people do... the problem is known as productivity guilt. But as always, there's something you can do about it.

Today on SelfWork Dr. Margaret offers nine helpful reminders that can guide you away from this guilt, so that you can stay on task and realize your goals.

Here they are:

One: Attaining goals isn't immediate. It takes time. Two: You can't avoid risk. Three: Your belief in yourself will wax and wane. Four: Life is a process not a product. Five: Ask for help if you're struggling. Six: Be aware of the impact of those around you. Seven: If you're in an overly controlling or abusive relationship, realize it. Eight: Have a growth mindset and know you can learn. Nine: Realize if your goal aligns with your values.

The listener email for today focuses on when trust is lost and what it takes to regain it.

Dr. Mark Traverse's article in Psychology Today on productivity guilt

Trauma Bond Episode on SelfWork

My TEDx : How to Recognize Perfectly Hidden Depression

Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Manifestation has been widely dismissed as self-involved, materialistic phooey. Now, James R. Doty, MD—a Stanford neurosurgeon, New York Times bestselling author, and Dalai Lama collaborator—reveals that manifestation is rooted in science.

Throughout his latest book, Mind Magic. Dr. Doty unveils his six-part plan for harnessing your mind’s power to change your brain structure and reclaim your agency. He grounds you in practices for neurological transformation by strategically targeting your attention, desires, obstacles, intention, passion, and expectations, so you can consciously create the life you want.

In addition to his medical expertise, Dr. Doty has the lived experience of using manifestation to revamp his reality. After he went from rags to riches back to rags, Dr. Doty overhauled his thinking to focus on being spiritually and morally centered. In turn, the riches stayed for the long haul.

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

We'll talk today about the interweaving of depression and knowing you matter (or mattering). In my FB group, someone asked the question, "Do you ever wish you were more important to someone than you are? Like, I know I’m important to some people but there are others where I feel like they are more important to me than the other way around and I feel bad about it. Thats sooooo stupid right?

The main answer was, “No that’s not stupid.”

How have learned you matter or didn’t matter? How is mattering different from self-esteem? Or is it? And as always, what you can do about it – meaning what you can do about it if you feel you don’t matter.

Our Speakpipe message this week is from a mom who’s very worried about her son’s drinking and alleged abuse of his wife. There’s a grandchild involved as well… I’ll have a couple of ideas for her… and for you if you’re in this situation. It’s a really really tough one.

Scientific American article on mattering

SelfWork episode on self-esteem and self-acceptance

SelfWork episode on trauma bonding

Mayo Clinic article on interventions with people who struggle with alcohol

Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Suicide is discussed in this episode. Here is the link to the suicide prevention text hotline.

"My bipolar disorder almost killed me." These are the words of Gabe Howard as he talked about his life with bipolar disorder. He's also an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after speaker. And he's someone that so many admire for his openness and knowledge around mental health issues - including me. In this episode, he talks about the ins and outs of being bipolar and passes on vital information about how to have a great life with bipolar!

In 2003, he was diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital. It took him four years to begin to understand and cope effectively with his illness. But he's gone on to act as a huge advocate for mental health treatment.

Gabe hosts the weekly Inside Mental Health podcast for Healthline Media and is the author of Mental Illness is an Asshole and Other Observations.

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

The Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has stated that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States and the World Health Organization has declared it as a pressing global health threat, with a mortality effect equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In this episode, we’ll talk about loneliness, how simple acts of empathy can be vital to healing loneliness, and "the power of eight minutes" - a way of communicating about needing help, as suggested by thought leader Simon Sinek.

In our email segment,I’m going to read a response one of my blogposts received a few months ago – from a partner who watches his wife dealing with enmeshment with her mom – and what kinds of problems that has caused.

Scripps News article: Why Are Americans Spending More Time Alone

New York Times Article on happiness phone call challenge

Simon Sinek post on the power of the eight minute phone call

SelfWork podcast on enmeshment

Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

This week we're focusing on all of you who might see yourself or someone you love as being a HSP - or highly sensitive person. Given that 15 to 20% of the population is thought to “have” it – and I say that in quotes because it’s not something you have, it's something you are - it’s not an illness or a problem. It’s a personality trait. It characterizes you. It’s what people might say about you when they’re trying to describe you. Like he’s stubborn or she’s persistent. They might say, “She gets things before many people do.”

I’ll read the messages and questions that several people had in contacting me, and will do my best to answer. We'll cover the gifts of being highly sensitive, but also some of the struggles inherent within it. But also this episode will have lots of great information for you – one link is a self-test for HSP researched and designed by the psychologist who coined the term HSP, Dr. Elaine Aron.

Dr. Elaine Aron's website where you can find the free self-tests!

Dr. Judith Orloff's website and her books on empathy

Dr. Caroline Leaf's interview with Dr. Aron and tips and techniques to cope with it

Recent study comparing those who are HSP and those signaling they "have" HSP

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

What do you do when your child is an addict? My guest on SelfWork this week is Ken Guidroz, author of Letters To My Son In Prison. He's a husband, father of three sons, a grandfather, and an ex-pastor. All three sons had struggles with drugs. But his middle son? For years, Lucas was a heroin addict. And he accidentally killed a man while driving high. And he ran from the scene.

Ken takes the reader through the years his son served in prison and what they both learned; not all the letters they wrote are published. But you can see and hear the complexity of the emotions both experienced.

I sat down to read and four hours later got up. It was riveting.

Get your SelfWork merch here on Zazzle!

Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!