Send us a text

Happy Holidays everyone. See you in 2026 and thank you for all the support.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

Wendy returns for reunion episode. Per listener request Matt shares some of his own personal trauma and how it impacted his relationships before and after his resolution.

Below is the poem I wrote when I was 33. This is how raw the feelings were back then. Thankfully the pain has been healed.

I am a bastard, thanks to you.

I bet 33 years ago you never imagined,

your polluted seed would create

the man that stands here

I N V I S I B L E

Did you think your whimsical germination

would harbor feelings of resentment powerful enough

to create the persona I have built my existence on?

Or does my illegitimacy

deny me the right to claim

this hatred I have for you.

I can’t comprehend the void of feeling

Held within your perverse core

That would allow you to give me away

Forgotten and packed, out of your sight

Out of your mind, like a stuffed animal

Left on the side of the road

Battered

Lonely

Damaged…only

Somewhere out there is a child who mourns

Its loss, helplessly pleading with the parents to

save it, before the unthinkable happens.

Or did it already happen?

Lifeless cloth shell swollen with cotton

has more value, than I to you.

I can relate

I have fonder memories of my own toys.

Of course they were in my life more often

I protected them with every ounce of my soul

I hugged when they were sad

I kept them company when they were alone.

Unconditional love, whatever that is

And no one ever had to ask them why they didn’t have a father?

Or “Why doesn’t he love you?

Or what did you do to make him leave?

But I’m the bastard.

Packsaddle son swaddled in rags

and left out for the Monday night trash.

That’s what you did to me.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

Starvation isn’t a metaphor—it’s policy made real. Erika and I sit down on Halloween. A holiday that is ironically about asking for snacks from strangers. We map how a government shutdown can remove the barely sustainable payment rails for SNAP, why many families get far less than a livable food budget, and how the benefits cliff punishes a $1 raise with thousands lost in childcare, healthcare, and food support. The math doesn’t lie, and neither do checkout lines when EBT systems fail. We break down the myths about “living off the system,” explain refeeding syndrome as a medical reality, and show why feeding people is both humane and fiscally smart.

From corporate welfare to the war economy, we follow the money that protects weapons over breakfasts and how retailers profit twice: underpaying workers who need benefits, then capturing those benefits at the register. Farmers are squeezed, small producers risk losing land, and shelters brace for pet surrenders as families choose between kibble and groceries. Through it all, we keep the focus on what works now: food banks with bulk buying power, mutual aid fridges that cut red tape, recurring micro-donations, and practical ways to add pet food to your giving so people can keep the companions that support their mental health.

We also honor Dr. Muath, a veterinarian in Gaza who cared for companion animals and working donkeys amid bombardment. His story reveals the human thread that ties war, hunger, and courage together—and why empathy should guide policy, not just sentiment. If you’re ready to replace outrage with action, this conversation offers clarity, context, and a path forward: fund your local pantry, support mutual aid, challenge casual classism, and push leaders to treat nutrition like the public infrastructure it is. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review telling us how you’re supporting food access in your community.

Help Dr. Muath | Animal Healthcare Workers Against Genocide

Queer and trans immigrants allege forced labor and sexual assault in Ice facility: ‘I was treated worse than an animal’ | US immigration | The Guardian

Arizona politicians respond to possible lapse in SNAP benefits | 12news.com

findhelp.org by findhelp - Search and Connect to Social Care

Arizona refugees to lose SNAP eligibility in November - AZPM

Governor Hobbs Announces Funding for Food Banks and New Food Bucks Now Program to Support Families in Need of Food Assistance | Office of the Arizona Governor

Tempe sued for targeting residents who feed homeless

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

We share Lila’s frontline account from Gaza and the mutual aid network she helps lead for children and orphans, weaving her poetry with hard facts about blockade, targeted healthcare, and the human cost of deliberate deprivation. We explain how to get funds and attention to people on the ground and how to build people power where you live.

• bonus context for Lila’s interview and work
• mutual aid logistics under bombardment and blackout
• how funds reach Gaza through trusted routes
• starvation as state policy and targeted healthcare
• One Health impacts of war on soil, animals, and people
• culture, propaganda, and language that normalize harm
• policing tactics abroad reflected in domestic policy
• Lila’s poetry as testimony and memory
• practical ways to donate, follow, and organize

Donate to direct action mutual aid campaigns. You can donate directly to Lila; follow Humans to Be and Lila’s handles in the show notes. Support Gaza Soup Kitchen, medical missions like Doctors Without Borders, and AWAG. Most importantly: do everything you can to hold our governance and our leaders accountable. Build people power. Use your voice because your voice matters.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

We unpack reactions to the assassination of Charlie Kirk, the messy truths of trauma responses, and why some grief gets megaphones while other suffering stays invisible. Trauma reactions come in many forms. But what is it that makes such a tidal wave of reactions when the targets are high profile white men, but a resounding silence when it is from other groups.

• setting intentions, limits, and non‑violence
• why man‑made violence destabilizes more than disasters
• viral footage, repetition, and normal trauma responses
• witnessing harm and preventing entrenched PTSD
• media bias, scapegoating, and selective outrage
• interpersonal versus systemic violence
• sympathy, empathy, and compassion defined
• mixed feelings about public figures and moral nuance
• global grief hierarchies and who gets to be human
• systems “working as designed” and dehumanizing language
• moving from feeling to practice with concrete actions

Task yourself with one compassionate act this week that eases someone’s load—one person or one community. Share what you chose and why.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

Amy returns to United States of PTSD to complete her powerful story of surviving clergy sexual abuse and the long, winding path to healing through religious deconstruction.

Following her abuse at age 15, Amy faced institutional gaslighting from the Catholic Church. Officials questioned what she "did to seduce" the priest and sent her parents a deliberately vague letter with double negatives that absolved them of responsibility. When they finally agreed to pay for therapy, they insisted on church-approved therapists—a dangerous conflict of interest that led to confidentiality breaches and further trauma.

The psychological damage of religious trauma compounded Amy's suffering for years. Growing up in purity culture, where virginity determined a woman's worth but consent was never discussed, left her feeling irreparably damaged after the assault. "If you're not a virgin when you get married, you're worthless," she explains. This toxic message, combined with being labeled as "trouble" by church authorities, fueled years of self-destruction and self-hatred.

Amy's deconstruction began slowly with questioning the institution rather than God. Watching "Spotlight," the film about clergy abuse in Boston, proved pivotal when she unexpectedly saw her abuser's name on screen. This public validation helped her redirect internalized shame toward its rightful target—the church that enabled her abuse. Years later, a confrontation with Cardinal Sean O'Malley, who showed no emotion as she sobbed about her trauma, cemented her disillusionment.

For those navigating similar journeys, Amy offers compassionate guidance: connect with others who've deconstructed, recognize the parallels between religious control tactics and cult behaviors, and honor your own timeline. "A big part of it is regaining your autonomy," she emphasizes, "allowing yourself to ask questions but also to take it as slow as you need to."

Have you experienced religious trauma or questioning your faith? We'd love to hear your story. Reach out to share your journey or find resources for healing.

Spotlight (2015) - IMDb

The Keepers Documentary: What Happened in Cathy Cesnik Murder Case? - Netflix Tudum (we do not support Netflix)

BITE Model of Authoritarian Control - Freedom of Mind Resource Center

Leaving the Fold – A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion – Journey Free

(188) Cults to Consciousness - YouTube

Home - BishopAccountability.org

Dying in ‘Hell’: The fate of Palestinian medics jailed by Israel | Israel-Palestine conflict News | Al Jazeera

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

Every survivor has a story that deserves to be heard. In this powerful conversation, we're joined by Amy, a social work student and survivor of religious trauma who shares her journey through high-control Catholicism and the devastating abuse she experienced, at the hands of a trusted priest.

Amy takes us through her childhood immersed in religious fear – developing religious OCD as she performed rituals, before bed, to ward off demons she was taught would possess her if she failed to pray correctly. This environment of spiritual terror created perfect conditions for exploitation when a parish priest, meant to counsel her through religious anxiety, instead sexually abused her at just 12 years old. Most chilling was how he weaponized her faith against her, describing his abuse as a divinely authorized "prayer."

When Amy finally disclosed what happened, the institutional response reveals a pattern familiar to many survivors – the church launched an investigation focused not on protecting her but on discrediting her testimony. A nun asked her, "What did you do to seduce him?" – a question that encapsulates the victim-blaming that enables abuse to flourish. Meanwhile, the perpetrator was quietly transferred to a military base, a common tactic employed to shield abusers from consequences.

The conversation expands beyond Amy's personal experience to examine how high-control religious environments systematically dismantle critical thinking and intuition, creating vulnerability by teaching followers to ignore internal warning signals. This conditioning extends beyond religion into other authoritarian systems, showing how these control mechanisms operate across different contexts.

Whether you're a survivor of religious trauma, working in mental health, or simply seeking to understand these complex dynamics, Amy's courageous testimony offers profound insights into both the damage inflicted by institutional betrayal and the possibility of healing through truth-telling. Subscribe now to hear the second part of Amy's story, where she'll share her journey of deconstruction and recovery.

Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests

Rhode Island Priest Abuse | Accused Priest List & Settlements

Palestinian American ambushed on family land and killed by Israeli settlers, cousin says | PBS News

The Goddess Diana and Her Association with Lucifer: Myths and Mysticism

Hela: Ruler of the Realm of the Dead - Mythical Encyclopedia

The Psychology of the Madonna Whore Complex - Modern Intimacy

Goddess Lost by Rachel McCoppin

The Myth of the Goddess by Jules Cashford and Anne Baring

https://www.tiktok.com/@ari_reacts?_t=ZT-8zXSz9ICn2N&_r=1

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com

Send us a text

Please welcome guest speaker Julie Botom-Richny Chhay. Julie shares her family's experience during the Cambodian genocide, drawing parallels to current genocide in Gaza and how generational trauma continues to impact survivors and their descendants.

• Cambodia's genocide under Pol Pot's regime killed nearly 2 million people between 1975-1979
• The Khmer Rouge specifically targeted educated people - teachers, doctors, artists, and even those who wore glasses
• Julie's mother survived being attacked and left to die in the woods at just 8 years old
• Refugee experiences at the Thai border included further violence against those seeking asylum similar to North Korea
• Children were deliberately separated from families and indoctrinated to view the regime as their true family with parallels of immigrants in the US.
• Cultural erasure included banning traditional music, dance, and other art forms central to Cambodian identity
• Intergenerational trauma manifests in complex family relationships and continues decades after the violence ends
• The targeting of education, suppression of information, and divisive politics follow similar patterns across different genocides
• Modern censorship includes selective blocking of information about ongoing genocides on major platforms like Google
• Survival stories remind us that behind statistics are real human lives forever changed by political violence

https://youtu.be/mNDolWiY440?si=oErM1k0Exy2mTqkX

Opinion | ‘Do Not Forget Gaza’: The Last Words of a Martyred Journalist | Common Dreams

Israel’s “final decision” for conquest and occupation of Gaza - World Socialist Web Site

S-21, Tuol Sleng - United States Holocaust Memorial Museum

U.S. Involvement in the Cambodian War and Genocide

walrus_cambodiabombing_oct06.pdf

Cambodia’s ‘Killing Fields’ artist dies | Features | Al Jazeera

Cambodian Genocide: S21 Prison Tuol Sleng Museum and Killing Fields Phnom Penh - FeetDoTravel

FACT SHEET: Genocide in Gaza — the Biden Administration’s Role and Legacy - Institute for Policy Studies

We urge you to reflect on these historical patterns as they emerge in current conflicts, and to recognize that peace requires us to confront uncomfortable truths about both past and present atrocities.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/hartzmann/no-time-to-die
License code: S4CEQWLNQXVZUMU4

Artwork and logo design by Misty Rae.


Special thanks to Joanna Roux for editing help.
Special thanks to the listeners and all the wonderful people who helped listen to and provide feedback on the episode's prerelease.


Please feel free to email Matt topics or suggestions, questions or feedback.
Matt@unitedstatesofPTSD.com