Love is often portrayed as something that should sweep us off our feet. It is the fairy tale of intensity, devotion, and grand gestures, all embedded in the belief that love conquers everything.

But what happens when those same dynamics become harmful?

In this episode, we explore what it looks like when love turns toxic. We unpack narcissism, gaslighting, emotional abuse, and the ways our culture sometimes glorifies traits and behaviors that are deeply harmful in relationships.

From the classic rom-com trope to society’s obsession with notorious criminals, we examine the cultural narratives that blur the line between passion and manipulation. We also explore why so many people believe they can change someone through love and why leaving harmful relationships is far more complex than people often assume.

This conversation goes beyond simply identifying red flags. We also explore practical tools for recognizing unhealthy dynamics, building self-awareness, and reconnecting with your inner clarity and strength.

Episode Primary Topics:

• What narcissism looks like in relationships

• How gaslighting and emotional abuse distort reality

• Society’s fascination with narcissistic personalities and infamous criminals

• The myth that love can heal or change someone who does not want to change

• Cultural narratives around romance, Valentine’s Day, and “cuffing season”

• The pressure to be in a relationship and the stigma around being single

• Love bombing and the normalization of extreme romantic gestures

• Media portrayals of stalking and obsession as romance

• Understanding love addiction and sex addiction

Episode Practical Healing Tools:

• Taking off the “rose colored glasses” and seeing relationships clearly

• Practicing equanimity and learning to see reality as it is

• Building self-accountability without falling into self-blame

• Recognizing emotional abuse and expanding the definition of domestic violence

• The role of isolation in keeping people stuck

• The importance of a supportive, non-judgmental community

• Healing abandonment and attachment wounds

• Building self-confidence and nervous system capacity

Understanding toxic dynamics is not about blaming survivors; it is about helping people see reality clearly and reclaim their power.

So, join us each month for a new theme in our unhinged exploration of trauma, power, and what it really means to heal.

And remember, you are not the problem…unless you are.

Ways to Connect & Support:

• If you love the show, the best way to support it for free is by listening daily, leaving a review, and subscribing or following in your favorite podcast app

• Sign up for Doris’ upcoming workshops

• • Twice a month Healing Huddle March 12th and 26th

  • Get Beyond Burnout Workshop March 18th

• Join Camille and Isabella at our Spring Equinox Online Mini-Retreat

• • March 21st 12-3pm PST

• Email us your thoughts, questions, feedback, and more at: nottheproblempod@gmail.com

Learn More About Your Podcast Hosts:

Camille A. Saunders: https://www.camilleasaunders.com/

Doris Taylor: https://www.moonshinewellnesspnw.com/
Isabella Koepf: https://risebeyondtrauma.org/

In our very first episode, we unpack the meaning behind the creation of this podcast, the title “You Are Not the Problem”, and why this idea sits at the heart of everything we do.

People are often harmed by others or by the systems they live and work in, yet walk away believing the harm is their fault. This episode is about naming that pattern, understanding how it happens, and beginning to loosen the grip of shame and self-blame.

We also share our personal stories and professional experiences that brought us here, from decades in healthcare and mental health, to domestic violence work, burnout, and moments that made it impossible to keep pretending the system was working.

This podcast touches on the realization that naming that you are not the problem is not about bypassing responsibility. It is about compassionate accountability, reclaiming inner authority, and remembering that your core self is not broken.

Episode Primary Topics:

• Why we chose the name You Are Not the Problem

• What our combined 30+ years in healthcare taught us about burnout, disillusionment, gaslighting, and these broken systems

• Doris’s story of what inspired her to create this podcast and her experiences as a nurse with burnout due to the demands of the healthcare industry

• Isabella’s experiences in domestic violence work and how these systems retraumatize survivors through shame and self-blame

• Camille’s internship story and how mental health workers themselves are often unsupported, leading to a broken system

• How our identity can become entangled with our careers, which keeps people trapped in cycles of burnout

• What brought the three of us together, and why these conversations are so essential

Episode Practical Healing Tools:

• How to work with shame and self-blame through psychoeducation and self-compassion

• Using inner child work and reconnecting with the part of you that was never broken to facilitate internal healing

• How to advocate for yourself within systems while staying connected to your own wisdom

• The grounding power of tangible practices like gardening, mindfulness, community support, and finding validating spaces

• Harnessing self-trust and remembering that you know yourself best, and honoring that truth

At the core, this episode sets the foundation for our ongoing podcast series. We are not just naming the problem; we are beginning the work of reclaiming healing and placing it back into the hands of individuals and communities.

So, join us each month for a new theme in our unhinged exploration of trauma, power, and what it really means to heal.

And remember, you are not the problem…unless you are.

Ways to Connect & Support:

• If you love the show, the best way to support it for free is by listening daily, leaving a review, and subscribing or following in your favorite podcast app

• Sign up for Doris’ upcoming workshops:

• • Getting Beyond Burnout Workshop January 24th at 0900 PST

  • Better Sleep Webinar February 7th at 0900 PST

• Join Camille and Isabella at our Spring Equinox Online Mini-Retreat!

  March 21st 12-3pm PST

• • Email us your thoughts, questions, feedback, and more at: nottheproblempod@gmail.com

  
  

  • Learn More About Your Podcast Hosts:

    Camille A. Saunders: https://www.camilleasaunders.com/

    Doris Taylor: https://www.moonshinewellnesspnw.com/

    Isabella Koepf: https://risebeyondtrauma.org/