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Collaborating with the Enemy

How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust

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Collaborating with the Enemy

Auteur(s): Adam Kahane
Narrateur(s): Jeff Hoyt
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À propos de cet audio

We're trying to get something done that really matters to us. To do this we need to work with others. But these others include people we don't agree with or like or trust, so working with them seems impossible - like collaborating with the enemy. What can we do?

International consultant Adam Kahane, whose work has been praised by Nobel Peace Prize winners Nelson Mandela and Juan Manuel Santos, has faced this challenge many times in working both on big issues, like economic restructuring, climate change, and civil war, and on ordinary issues within organizations and families. He has come to understand that everything we think we know about collaboration - that it requires a harmonious team that agrees on where it's going and how it's going to get there - is wrong. On the contrary, the only way to get things done with diverse others is to abandon harmony, agreement, and control and to learn to work with discord, experimentation, and genuine cocreation.

Kahane proposes a new approach to collaboration - stretch collaboration - that is built on this insight. He offers examples of how he's helped people apply it in all kinds of tough situations throughout the world. This approach requires stepping forward with openness and commitment, as in the words of poet Antonio Machado, "Walker, there is no path. The path is made by walking."

As our societies have become more polarized and globalized and our organizations have become less hierarchical, more of us need to collaborate across more heterogeneous groups than ever before. This means that increasingly often we face situations where conventional collaboration does not work. Kahane's book offers a proven and practical approach to getting things done in such complex and conflictual contexts. It could not be more timely.

©2017 Adam Kahane (P)2017 Adam Kahane
Communication et habilités sociales Développement personnel Gestion et leadership Réussite personnelle Entreprise Négocier Direction Carrière
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Adam Kahane articulates the difficulties with working with those you don't like and don't trust. His worldly experience and stories help to dramatize the concepts of the book, specifically breaking down decisions in to exiting, adapting, conventionally collaborating or stretch collaborating. Would recommend this book to business relations and friends that often find themselves in difficult decision making situations with colleagues, peers, bosses, or outside companies.

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Great concepts, clearly built on experience

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7/10

So I liked this one. As a Realtor, you're put into an adversarial position in most cases. You need to be able to discuss terms while taking into consideration each person's perspective.

Now, "adversarial" does not mean "enemy". People choose to make enemies of the person on the other side of whatever the discussion is. That's mostly not necessary and doesn't tend to be productive. Sometimes, we need to take time to listen to and understand what the other side needs in order to find a mutually agreeable outcome.

This book is dry and a little dated at times, but not terribly so that the points don't get made.

I think the narrator is a little dry, but what isn't necessarily their fault is that the editing is almost to make this non-stop. There's no two seconds of silence even between chapters or sub chapters. A little re-edit would go a long way.

Give it a listen for ideas on how to approach working with people you don't Agree With, Like or Trust.

A Good Book on Understanding Others' Perspectives

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Very disappointing with essentially one message repeated in several ways throughout text. Narrator was easy to listen to but feel this could have been conveyed in an essay/ podcast.

Lacking substance

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