Out of the Fog
Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
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Narrateur(s):
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Dana Morningstar
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Auteur(s):
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Dana Morningstar
À propos de cet audio
The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.
However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.
The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated, they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazy-making, people-pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice - especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support-group members, or a therapist.
Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?", "No one is perfect", "You need to forgive them", "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know", and "Commitment is forever".
This audiobook dives into these and other commonly confused topics such as:
- "Who are you to judge" vs. being discerning
- "You need to forgive them" vs. keeping yourself safe
- A parent vs. a predator
- Commitment vs. codependency
- Self-love vs. selfishness
- A person acting the part vs. a person actually changing
- Gut instincts vs. hypervigilance
- A friend vs. someone being friendly
- Caring vs. caretaking
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Ce que les auditeurs disent de Out of the Fog
Moyenne des évaluations de clientsÉvaluations – Cliquez sur les onglets pour changer la source des évaluations.
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Au global5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Histoire5 out of 5 stars
- Eleanor Eliza Cowan
- 2022-12-15
Outstanding !
This is bibliotherapy at its best, ideas, knowledge, understanding, support and reassuring of the target of a narcissist.
Thank you, Dana Morningstar for recycling your trauma to the highest good for all!
Eleanor Cowan, Canadian author
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Au global5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Histoire5 out of 5 stars
- Khairat
- 2023-11-17
Much needed clarity
Two things I learnt from this book: crazy making behaviour and reactive abuse. It helped me understand why I felt guilty for standing up to my abuser. An amazing read, I recommend for anyone who just left an abusive relationship.
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Au global4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Histoire4 out of 5 stars
- Geoff
- 2022-06-22
A Good Introduction to Narcissism
A doctor suggested I read this book to help better understand a Narcissist I am dealing with. The individual in question is affecting me through someone close to me and I will admit it has provided some trying times. Not knowing much about Narcissism, having never encountered it in this sort of situation, I felt this would be a good start to understand what I am dealing with. Unfortunately I do not have enough time to physically read this book so I purchased it as an Audible.
This book is good if you are someone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist in that it provides examples of how they work, what they can do and how they go about doing it. It also provides decent advice on how you might handle the personal trauma you might experience after having realized what it was you were with. In my case it helped a bit, much of the information I was already aware of and, by the end of the book, I was left with a feeling that there could be a little bit more in depth information provided. Overall, though I would give it a 4.25 rating.
As an Audible book, it was read by the author and she has a wonderful voice and read the content excellently and kept you engaged.
If you need a good primer in to how a Narcissist can and will impact you directly I recommend this work. If, like me, you need something more informative on how to deal with someone who is impacting you through someone else this book is still good as a base but you will need to look elsewhere.
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