Listen free for 30 days

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo + applicable taxes after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
Small Portions Cafe cover art

Small Portions Cafe

Written by: Douglas Fergus
Narrated by: Douglas Fergus
Try for $0.00

$14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $18.74

Buy Now for $18.74

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Tax where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Douglas Fergus wants you to be happy. And laugh. Or at least feel good knowing you’re not the only person who thinks weird is cool.

He is compelled to share his quirky/humorous/satirical outlook on life in an effort to spread joy to as many people as possible. “Every day since I was about 18, at least two funny ideas have appeared in my head. That’s 30,660 funny ideas. It’s about darn time I wrote a book!”

Small Portions Café doesn’t just push the boundaries of normalcy, it delights in doing so.

These highlights give you a taste of what to expect in these wonderfully absurd short stories.

  • The complicated world of light bulbs was too much for him.
  • He ruined his new love interest with mint-flavored coffee pods.
  • Young, dumb, broke, and hooked on credit. Will his new job as an underwear model save him?
  • Koo Koo Birdy Meadow-Johnson showed him how to gently swirl his water counterclockwise and bless it before sipping.
  • Did he really loan his only copy of a handwritten manuscript to a Radio Shack clerk?
  • Does his mother really wear combat boots?
  • Why did she let him take the lawnmower on a Miami Beach vacation?

Doug Fergus is a writer, songwriter, vocalist, bassist, and recording artist, but his passionate hobby is heating and air conditioning. His love of writing began when he took a creative writing class in high school. Doug writes and records quirky, fun, clever, humorous indie rock songs under the artist name Lucky Doug Fergus. His music can be found on all digital platforms.

©2021 Douglas Bruce Fergus (P)2021 Douglas Bruce Fergus

What the critics say

"Douglas Fergus' entertaining stories will take you to another world filled with absurd and wacky characters, situations and outrageous moments. I laughed out loud!" (Judith Kohin, executive director of Ah Haa School for the Arts)

What listeners say about Small Portions Cafe

Average Customer Ratings

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.