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Why Won't You Apologize?

Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

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Why Won't You Apologize?

Auteur(s): Harriet Lerner PhD
Narrateur(s): Cassandra Campbell
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“If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won’t You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer.” —Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong

“Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see ‘the apology’ in quite the same way.” —Esther Perel, MA, LMFT, author of Mating in Captivity


Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the power of a sincere apology—those two essential words, “I’m sorry”—and how apologizing can repair relationships, resolve conflict, and restore trust. In this insightful guide to emotional healing and relationship repair, Dr. Harriet Lerner offers a clear and compassionate perspective on why apologies are so difficult to give and why they matter so deeply.

Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people refuse to apologize—for more than two decades. Through compelling stories and grounded psychological insight, she shows how meaningful apologies can rebuild trust, repair damaged relationships, and promote genuine healing. Readers learn how to craft a heartfelt “I’m sorry,” recognize ineffective or manipulative apologies, and avoid the kinds of apologies that deepen hurt instead of resolving it.

Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the needs of the injured party—the person hurt by someone who will not apologize, tell the truth, or show remorse. Lerner explores what drives both the chronic non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, and why the people who cause the greatest harm are often least able to take responsibility. She helps readers resist pressure to forgive too quickly and challenges the popular belief that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With trademark humor, warmth, and psychological wisdom, Lerner offers a practical and empowering guide to repairing relationships, setting healthy boundaries, and making things right.
Gestion des conflits Marriage Psychologie Psychologie et santé mentale Relations Sciences sociales Sociologie Spirituel Science Communication
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I’m grateful for the knowledge. I’m encouraged by Dr. Lerner’s courage to show her own vulnerabilities and acknowledgment that she also makes mistakes. But it’s never too late to recognize our failings and give a heartfelt apology for the part we have played in a ruptured relationship. Thank you always for your help.

Another beautiful book to help us heal

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While most of this novel's contents may not be groundbreaking, they are excellent reminders of how important relationship ruptures and repairs are. Excellent read for anyone looking to become a better person.

Probably a good read for everyone

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I chose this book on a whim. The idea of a whole book talking about the complexities of apologies and what they mean intrigued me. This book has helped me immensely with interpersonal conflict, and understanding why people do things a certain way. It made me face some things that I was doing when I apologized that unhelpful and not really an apology. This has been such an impactful book for me, so I will definitely be reading other books written by this author.

EVERYONE needs to read this book.

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I first listened to Harriet Lerner and Brené Brown’s podcast: Why Won’t You Apologize. It was the most helpful piece of self-care/relationship literature I had read so far about the importance of a good apology.

Everyone should read this!

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This book should be taught to children in schools and if it were the world would be a better place.

A Life Skill

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