(1994 - 2024) Tannen Baum, heir to the Baum Swamp Water Dynasty from Prussia, died last night in front of a Prussian militia while wearing his beautiful purple ermine robe. Baum, known for his Vermont morality and for resurrecting his family's semi-defunct swamp water company, left no stone unturned in his pursuit of spreading Prussian nationalism. Despite turning the National and State Park Ranger System into a breeding ground for his new swamp water empire, he will be remembered fondly by Park Ranger Michaels, Park Ranger Michaels' son, and the greater community of Danville VT. Tannen Baum's funeral will be livestreamed during the 6:30pm national TV slot of Nightly News with Prussian Holt and Prussian Williams. New episode Thursday!

(2006 - 2024) Miami Wednesday, one of the last high schoolers from Schenoodle, Ohio, passed away last night far from home. Famed for being the only teenager in Schenoodle, Ohio to smoke pot, Miami was born destined to be in Boston, struggling for the whole of her short life to get to the East Coast. Despite her fascination with hair and makeup, Miami was trapped by both the pastoral confines of rural Ohio, and the shadow of her wig-smelling brother Kevin. She will be remembered for her persistence, her love of leprechauns, and her abrasive curse words. You can read her funeral via Stenographer's transcript sometime later this week. New episode Thursday!

a sneak peak of our new patreon episode!! this episode is an original demo we recorded while developing the podcast in 2020...with the role of God and Devil flipped and a hilarious performance by former guest Sam Myers. you can catch Sam's new play THE VICKY ARCHIVES at The Tank from April 18th - May 18th!