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This Spiritual Fix

This Spiritual Fix

Auteur(s): Kristina Wiltsee & Anna Stromquist
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À propos de cet audio

What meditation works for you? What is it like to do tantra? How do you best communicate with a loved one? Kristina Wiltsee & Anna Stromquist are two best friends on a quest to try all things spiritual in order to attain enlightenment -- or just stay sane while juggling a lot on their plates. Their internationally recognized podcast hits close to home for many people who are struggling for peace amidst the pain of trauma, emotional wounds, and neurodivergent brains. As we uncover deeper layers of ourselves, they teach, with humor, that there is nothing to fix - just more of us to love.

Season Themes:

Season 1: The Primal Wounds (Abandonment, Rejection, Betrayal, Injustice, & Humiliation)

Season 2: The Drama Triangle (The Inner & Outer Persecutor, Rescuer, and Victim)

Season 3: First Chakra (Relationships & Sexuality & The Mother Wound)

Season 4: Second Chakra (Integration of the Multidimensional Self & The Father Wound)

Season 5: Third Chakra (Growing Up and the Money Wound)

Season 6: Fourth Chakra (Primal Wounds Revisited, Villains & Karma Yoga)

www.thisspiritualfix.com

2023. All rights reserved. Développement personnel Hindouisme Hygiène et mode de vie sain Psychologie Psychologie et santé mentale Relations Réussite Sciences sociales Spiritualité Éducation des enfants
Épisodes
  • 7.16 Communicating with the Villain, Part One of Two

    7.16 Communicating with the Villain, Part One of Two
    Nov 18 2025
    This episode continues the practical series on the Inner Villain system by breaking down how to communicate with each villain type. Kristina and Anna pull from real life, therapy, and relationship work to translate a complex shadow-work system into clear tools you can use with partners, friends, coworkers, and family.Before the communication section, the episode also covers:• Purpose vs meaning• Why your purpose isn’t defined by you• How creation works when it’s not about control• A new metaphor for the 9 Villains as phases in the lifecycle of a flowering plant• Why people “get stuck” in certain villain phases• What it means to grow in order vs out of orderEPISODE BREAKDOWN00:00 — Opening & Check-InKristina and Anna reconnect after a break from recording.They talk somatic healing, practical implementation struggles, and the tension between “etheric narrative work” and real-life applicability.05:00 — Purpose vs MeaningAnna shares insights from her Kabbalah class:• Meaning is personal interpretation.• Purpose is assigned externally (source, God, universe).• You don’t get to define your purpose. Others and life events reveal it.Kristina connects this to Viktor Frankl, creation without attachment, and Buckminster Fuller’s idea that purpose arrives at a perpendicular angle to your intentions.13:00 — BREAKTHROUGH DREAM: The 9 Villains as the Life Cycle of a Flowering PlantKristina shares a liminal-space dream that reframed the entire Villain System through the natural growth stages of a plant.A concise map:Obedient Critic — Seed. Rules, inherited limitations, instruction set.Vengeful Martyr — Cotyledon (baby leaves). Self-generated energy. Doing everything alone.Vain Controller — True leaves + root establishment. Channels, resources, trust.Eternal Child — Explosive growth, abundance, chaos.Evasive Expert — Balancing inputs. Regulating water/light.Divisive Immortal — Flowering. Death, risk, community, cross-pollination.Hungry Shapeshifter — Seed production. Creativity, potentiality.Righteous Bully — Seed release. Letting go. Not controlling outcomes.Invisible Destroyer — Desiccation / return to soil. Crone, surrender, dissolution.Use it to locate yourself. If you’re “stuck,” look at the developmental stage you skipped.41:53 — PRACTICAL SECTION: COMMUNICATING WITH EACH VILLAINThis is the part listeners asked for. Clear, real-world communication strategies, conflict prevention tools, and repair patterns for each villain.1. The Obedient Critic (OC)Rule-set oriented, easily offended, perfectionistic, rigid.Preventive strategies:• Exchange rule-sets explicitly. Ask: “What does X mean to you?”• Agree on shared relationship rules or a “contract.”• Avoid assuming your interpretation matches theirs.• Overshare context up front to avoid catastrophic misinterpretation.During conflict:• Use permissive, soft entry language: “Could we try…?” “Maybe we consider…?”• Validate their meaning first: “I see how in your world this means X.”• Never say “You’re wrong.” Reframe instead: “In my world, this means something different.”2. The Vengeful Martyr (VM)Energy-banker, does everything alone, keeps score, collapses into exhaustion.Preventive strategies:• Do not exploit their over-functioning.• Build real competence in the areas they normally shoulder alone.• Remove responsibility from them physically (take the kids out of the house, run point on meals, etc.).• Combine gratitude + competent action.During conflict / meltdown:• Open with: “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”• Listen. Don’t defend. Don’t reason.• Offer immediate relief from responsibility.• After they calm: reduce the systemic over-responsibility that created the blowup.3. The Vain Controller (VC)Status-driven, work-driven, image-driven, terrified of betrayal.Preventive strategies:• Avoid competition or one-upping.• Celebrate small vulnerability when they offer it.• Keep your promises. No exceptions.• Reward their hard work in tangible, visible ways.During conflict:• Acknowledge the breach directly: “I recognize I broke a promise here.”• Use “I will work harder” language.• Outline concrete steps you will take to restore trust.• Don’t joke about their insecurities. They will not take it well.4. The Eternal Child (EC)Dream-logic, confabulation, entitlement, dramatic swings.Preventive strategies:• Set clear expectations + consequences. Consistency matters more than anything.• Bring in practicality without shaming their dream-side:“I love your vision. Let’s anchor it with two practical steps.”• Give them structure, timelines, and follow-through.During conflict / tantrum:• Do not debate their story. It won’t land.• Provide grounding: “I’m here. I’m not abandoning you.”• Hold consistent consequences afterward.• If they escalate to destructive behavior: remove yourself and hold the ...
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    50 min
  • 7.15 Healing the Villains: Reflections on the Evasive Expert, Righteous Bully, & Obedient Critic

    7.15 Healing the Villains: Reflections on the Evasive Expert, Righteous Bully, & Obedient Critic
    Nov 4 2025
    Kristina and Anna unpack how the Inner Villain system shows up in everyday life: time blindness, rule-set clashes, obsessive “fixing,” and the loneliness of divide-and-conquer living. Kristina shares how mold, town history, and nervous-system patterns mirrored the Evasive Expert arc—and the practical “FUNNY” framework she and Luke use to slow down, reconnect, and shift out of overthinking. Anna explores the Righteous Bully, Obedient Critic, Nothing (Invisible Destroyer), and Eternal Child dynamics in relationships, with concrete tools for timing difficult conversations. Together they sketch common pairings between villains, why some arcs magnetize each other, and how to convert shadow patterns into serviceable strengths.Chapter Markers00:00 Checking in: ego death, gratitude as daily practice02:23 Why the Villain work feels more useful than “primal wounds” alone04:58 Anti-heroes and arcs: we’re rarely pinnacle villains for long05:58 What is time blindness and how it strains relationships08:49 Calendar blindness vs time blindness09:58 Time for mortals: insights from Four Thousand Weeks (Oliver Burkeman)11:58 Estimation traps, executive function, and project-management “laws”13:58 Tools: timers, delayed conversations, and tech to protect relationships15:00 The Evasive Expert must slow down: decompression blocks and focus holds16:48 Safety, protection, and the urge to “fix it now”18:00 Cities, homes, couples as arcs; mapping a house as Evasive Expert21:45 Diagnostic combos: how 7-8-9 become “advanced” villains24:50 Obedient Critic rabbit holes and living by rule sets27:15 Laws of nature over personal rules; the Law of Procession31:40 Case study: two Obedient Critics and the family rule set clash33:50 Couples and houses as Villain ecosystems39:00 The FUNNY framework to invert the Evasive Expert44:10 Golden Hour: shared effort to reduce isolation50:10 Righteous Bully with the Nothing: common pairing patterns54:15 Other frequent pairings and why they happen58:40 Meme break: naming the villains with humor1:03:10 Working with parts: IFS, deconditioning, and flipping subtypes1:06:15 Homework and next episode: communicating with each villainKey Concepts & ToolsTime Blindness vs Calendar BlindnessTime blindness: difficulty perceiving passing minutes and sequencing tasks.Calendar blindness: difficulty tracking dates, planning horizons, and overlaps.Villain Arcs (selected)Obedient Critic (OC): lives by rigid rule sets; seeks correction and order. Legend: Equalizer.Vengeful Martyr (VM): over-gives to earn belonging; nourishes, then resents.Eternal Child (EC): entitled to care; toggles anxious/avoidant; covert romantic.Righteous Bully (RB): fusion of VM + OC; imposes “right” for safety and control.Evasive Expert (EE): over-intellectualizes, compartmentalizes; feelings drive from underground.Invisible Destroyer / The Nothing (ID): EE + Divisive Immortal; withdrawal, disappearance.Hungry Shapeshifter (HS): attention-seeking blend of Vain Controller + Eternal Child.Common Pairings (why they attract)RB + ID (Nothing): control/pursuit meets withdrawal; each amplifies the other.VM + EC: Wendy and Peter; nourishment meets eternal dependency.EE + Divisive Immortal: logic and safety bind; loyalty sustains low intimacy.HS + ID/EE: performance pairs with a quieter partner who recedes.Practical ToolsTimers & Alarms: outsource time perception to protect relationships.Deferred Conflict Scheduling: drop a calendar note to discuss when regulated.Decompression Blocks: 15-minute buffers after sessions to downshift.Golden Hour: whole-family or couple co-work on one project to restore “together energy.”Framework: FUNNY (to invert the Evasive Expert)F — Free: create time and space to slow down.U — United: do unpleasant tasks together; reduce divide-and-conquer loneliness.N — Nuanced: reject all-or-nothing; find middle paths.N — Natural: return to body signals and instinct, not just cognition.Y — You: keep it personal and present; ask, “Is this funny?” as a shorthand check.Quotes“You don’t save your kid from pain. You help them become the leader of their own system.”“The Evasive Expert can’t think its way out. It has to slow down.”“Repetition isn’t punishment. It’s practice.”“Have a honey-driven life. Purpose arrives at 90 degrees.”References & MentionsOliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for MortalsInternal Family Systems (IFS) for working with partsLaw of Procession (purpose arrives indirectly)Loki (Marvel), Vision, Agatha as archetypal studies of time and shadowMarshall Thurber TedxTalk MelbourneTakeawaysIdentify whether your issue is time blindness, calendar blindness, or both. Choose tools accordingly.When you feel the urge to correct, schedule the talk instead. Protect the bond first.Map your home, town, or relationship as an arc. Ask what gift already emerged from the “problem.”Use FUNNY to invert overthinking into connection.Diagnose pair...
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    1 h et 9 min
  • 7.14 Awareness of the Inner Villain - Reflections on the Vain Controller, Eternal Child, and Righteous Bully

    7.14 Awareness of the Inner Villain - Reflections on the Vain Controller, Eternal Child, and Righteous Bully
    Nov 3 2025
    Kristina and Anna explore three Inner Villains in practice—how they show up in real life, what their “medicine” looks like, and what integration can unlock. Stories include a cross-country “house tour” of legends, a vulnerable experiment with the Vain Controller, and a candid breakdown of Righteous Bully dynamics at home.Timestamps00:00 — Catch-up: Niagara River energy, moving into an RV, new podcast soft-launch, hosting 30 for Thanksgiving06:00 — Why this work hits differently when you start applying it07:00 — “Reversing the spin” and why we take gifts from each villain09:30 — The filter metaphor: turning life’s burn into clearer water10:30 — Vain Controller in the wild: image, status, resources, and vulnerability practice17:45 — Scarcity vs strategic generosity; non-transactional networking21:00 — The “villain houses” road trip: Inventor, Equalizer, Traveller, Nothing, Healer, Hungry Shapeshifter33:45 — Eternal Child patterns, enabling, and compassionate honesty39:20 — Righteous Bully 101, medicine, legend, and a domestic case study55:00 — When “surrendered” gets stuck, and stepping back into leadership57:00 — Take the Villain Quiz and next stepsVillain deep divesVain Controller (VC)Core patternSeeks safety through appearance, performance, and perceived success.Manages for resources and status; swings between vanity and vulnerable insecurity, and between scarcity control and trusting abundance.Legend: The InventorUses resources creatively, shares generously, and builds networks that multiply value.MedicineVulnerability and confession.Strategic generosity over transactional control.Practising trust that resources and relationships are renewable.Practices you can tryMicro-confession: when you feel the urge to posture or criticize, name the fear underneath to a safe person.Non-transactional gift: offer one connection, resource, or introduction this week with no ask attached.Audit your “appearance routines”: keep what is self-respecting, release what is fear-managing.Moments to listen forThe “snark, then confess” experiment, and what it revealed about fear of failure and being unlovable.The networking story that models non-transactional giving.Eternal Child (EC)Core patternEntitled to care, victim-armoring, denial, and story-bending to avoid responsibility.Draws disproportionate resources in the “drama triangle.”Legend: The TravellerExpands perspective through literal or metaphorical travel, meets life directly, and participates in fair exchange.MedicineCompassionate honesty and natural consequences.Replace enabling with clear agreements and accountability.Perspective-expansion experiences.Practices you can tryOne honest sentence: state the concrete impact of a behavior without softening the facts.Consequence alignment: stop padding timelines, covering, or reframing the truth.Perspective field-trip: choose an experience that expands empathy and scale.Moments to listen forThe “villain houses” tour and how a welcoming, playful home embodied the Traveller.How enabling keeps everyone living inside someone else’s “fake world,” and what shifted when honesty landed.Righteous Bully (RB)Core patternOpinion hardens into gospel, dissent becomes threat, and “correction” tips into character assassination.Gift hidden inside: raw leadership energy.Legend: The ChannelerHolds a strong point of view, listens deeply, integrates the wisdom of the group, and leads fairly.MedicineThe Surrendered: curiosity, humility, and shared problem-solving.Distinguish data, opinion, and impact.Repair through ownership rather than domination.Practices you can tryThree breaths, three questions: What am I assuming, what else could be true, what would repair look like.Tone check in the kitchen: correct the action, not the person.Leadership rep: where do I need to stop over-surrendering and actually lead.Moments to listen forThe vestibular case study: fury when sound advice wasn’t followed.The “jumpy house” story: how fear of a blow-up created the perfect storm, and what repair requires.Kristina’s flip-side: when over-surrendering blocked necessary leadership on IP and contracts.Key ideas and languageReversing the spin: Integration is not skipping villainy, it is harvesting its gifts and re-orienting them.The filter metaphor: Life’s burn leaves ash, charcoal, and heat; arranged well, they clarify the water of love.Non-transactional generosity: Strategic resourcing without ledgers grows real networks.Pull quotes“We’re not meant to be just heroes and legends. You take a gift back from being a villain.”“Compassion without honesty is enabling. Honesty without compassion is punishment.”“Leadership isn’t losing your opinion, it’s holding it while you listen.”Resources mentionedInner Villain Quiz — link in show notesArticles and videos on Vain Controller, Eternal Child, Righteous Bully — link in show notesThe Executive & The Mystic podcast — link...
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    1 h
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