Listening helps make sense of a chaotic dating world

Modern dating is chock full of contradictions. Sometimes it feels like a sprint, as you make split-second decisions with the swipe of a thumb. Other times it feels like a marathon, as you search tirelessly for that special someone.

When you click with someone over a shared interest – an interest you thought no one else in the world shared – modern dating can feel intimate and personal. When you share basic platitudes over a dating app chat, however, it can feel frustratingly impersonal.

Navigating the strange, shifting, contradictory world of modern dating can be challenging. But listening is here to help. When you want the motivation to keep putting yourself out there, pick up a motivational dating title. When you’re looking for guidance through a rough patch in a relationship, listen to the experts in an audiobook or podcast. When you lack the inspiration to advocate for your needs in a relationship, get inspired with one of our personal development audiobooks.

And, if things get complicated, we’ve got you covered there as well with entertaining and immersive titles that transport you away from the modern dating world, if only for a little while.

Get Motivated to Get Out There

We’ve all felt this way at some time or another: “I’ve tried and tried, and I don’t know if I can summon the energy to try again.” What you might need is some you time – time spent relaxing with your own thoughts or snuggling up with a fantastic audiobook. Listen to yourself and determine what’s best for your mental health and wellbeing.

When you know it’s time to get back out there, to dust yourself off and try again, Audible has titles to help. Listening and motivation go hand in hand because listening’s an intimate experience. With an audiobook or podcast, you aren’t just getting disembodied advice – there’s a real person speaking directly to you. A real person in your ear, inspiring you to keep striving. In some cases, it’s the authors themselves talking to you.

Take, for instance, Shannon Boodram’s The Game of Desire. Written and narrated by Boodram herself, The Game of Desire is a funny, impactful how-to guide for modern dating from one of the world’s most inspiring relationship experts.

The Game of Desire

As a certified sexologist and intimacy coach, Boodram understands the modern dating struggle. She understands how competitive and confusing dating apps can be. And she knows that the rules of love and attraction are fluid. In The Game of Desire, she eschews the old dating book formula that tells you why you aren’t getting dates. Instead, she empowers you with knowledge and confidence so that you can learn how to find – and retain – relationships.

Using a mix of conversational case studies and psychological insights, Boodram offers a balanced, light and humorous take on getting out there. And although it’s geared towards women, its central message about love and self-discovery applies to all daters.

If you prefer your motivation backed by science, try Amir Levine and Rachel Heller’s ground-breaking audiobook, Attached. The premise is simple: we already rely on science to guide our eating, sleeping and exercising habits. Why not look to science as a dating guide too?


Levine and Heller show how an understanding of adult attachment can help you find and sustain love. By learning how you relate to relationships (and how your prospective partner may relate to them), you can build a stronger foundation. Science isn’t often considered “motivational”, but Attached manages to pull it off thanks to actionable tips.

Maintain Your Relationships with Expert Guidance

You’ve journeyed through the chaos of the modern dating world and found “The One.” You’ve dated. Maybe you’ve gone on vacation together. Maybe you share a home. Maybe you share a toothbrush holder. Maybe you’ve even shared vows.

Does that mean you can kind of just … coast?

No. Relationships require you to constantly renew your mutual dedication and support.

Sometimes, choosing each other, day-after-day, takes work. To help maintain your relationships, turn to the experts. Check out our audiobooks focused on relationships, including titles to help you communicate better and foster intimacy.

For an empowering, step-by-step guide to communication and intimacy, check out Eight Dates, from authors John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, the Gottmans invite you on eight, fun, deeply rewarding dates.

Eight Dates

Each date focuses on a common, thorny issue in relationships: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. Through interactive activities and prompts, you'll learn how to better communicate with your partner, discovering – or rediscovering – what you love about them.

A couple shares headphones enjoying audible content together on a tablet

If you prefer to tackle the thorny side of relationships in a more humorous setting, we suggest diving into Stephen Marche’s incisive, hilarious and refreshingly direct How Not to F** *ck Up Your Marriage Too Bad.

In each of the 10 podcast episodes, Marche tackles a different problem that everyone in a long-term relationship – himself included – faces at some point. Episode titles include: “Should We Even Get Married?” “Should We Schedule Sex?” and “How Do We Stop Fighting?” These problems aren’t exclusive to modern dating and relationships, but Marche and his guests approach them with a modern lens and sensibility.

How Not to F*ck Up Your Marriage Too Bad

Explore Inspiring Titles that Promote Self-Love and Self-Advocacy

Whether you’re in the honeymoon phase of a new fling, the routine of a years-long relationship or the heartache of a recent breakup, one thing remains true: you need to love yourself.

It’s easy to get lost in the excitement and pace of dating apps. It’s easy to disappear into a relationship. And it’s easy to lose sight of what makes you amazing when you go through a breakup. Set aside time to centre yourself with an audiobook. Listen on your walk to work, as you shop for groceries, or while you lie in bed next to your partner.

In Love Is Not Enough, best-selling creator Mark Manson joins real people to work through their romantic (and unromantic) predicaments. He talks with a serial Tinder-dater, a twice-divorced intimacy-phobe and a woman having an affair at work.

Love Is Not Enough

Throughout these discussions, Manson hammers home his point in sincere (and sometimes swear-world-loaded) fashion: “A loving relationship is supposed to supplement our individual identity, not damage it or replace it.” It’s important to value yourself – your self-respect, self-worth, dignity, and ability to trust.

Looking for an audiobook about self-love that’s also about creating a fair, equitable and compassionate world for everyone? Check out The Body Is Not an Apology, by world-renowned activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor. In this powerful title, Taylor exposes the violent systems of oppression that hurt our relationships with bodies – our own bodies and the bodies of others.

The Body Is Not an Apology

Taylor invites us to reconnect with the radical origins of our minds and bodies and celebrate our collective, enduring strength. Out with indoctrinated body shame. In with the transformative opportunity for radical self-love. Beautifully written and narrated by Taylor herself, this audiobook is a must-listen.

Modern dating isn’t easy. Then again, judging by some of the classic Jane Austen audiobooks, dating was probably never easy. Relationships have always required personal courage, interpersonal communication and self-love. To help motivate, guide and inspire you through the complexities of modern relationships, take time to listen to love and romance titles at Audible. Is there an Audible title that’s helped you in your love life? Let us know on our Facebook page!

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