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Eight Dates

Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
4.6 out of 5 stars (22 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. 

Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range - from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions - will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before - and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve. 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2018 John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams (P)2019 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Eight Dates

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    4 out of 5 stars

Interesting but not life-changing

The book offers a number of interesting ideas and insights. We followed the dates, and found that having conversations was very useful. Of course the 8 dates did not change our lives or dramatically improved our marriage, but I found some utility in them. Nothing replaces counselling, but this book gives a number of handy tools for self-care and self-maintenance. I would recommend it, with a caveat not to expect magic transformations.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-01-21

What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!

This is complete bs. The reader is a robot?!?! Am super dissappointed. Change it now.

30 people found this helpful

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  • Chad
  • 2020-02-16

Decent date ideas

This is apparently the product of some smart, hard-working researchers who have spent an amazing amount of time studying relationships and romantic interactions in minute detail. They swear they can tell which relationships will last and which won't. The scientific formula? It depends on whether you usually speak positively or negatively about your partner. It's not hard to imagine that someone who constantly criticizes their partner is unlikely to have a happy, healthy long relationship with them. That hardly seemed to need the intense scientific scrutiny. But surely there's more to it, more to the book than that, right? The book itself consists of eight date ideas, each with a suggested conversation. The date ideas are fine. They'll be fun for some people, but not a good idea for others. Ok, great. That could easily be a short listicle somewhere. As for the conversations, they are each important subjects, to be sure. Do they really benefit from being matched with the date ideas? Have the authors run experiments to determine that these eight dates each lead to more successful relationships, have they run scientifically controlled experiments with different permutations to figure out the exact ingredients that make these eight dates magically work? Maybe I missed it, but I heard no such thing. It sounded rather more like the authors discussed what they felt were the most important topics for relationship partners to discuss, then made up random ideas for dates in which to discuss each of those topics. It isn't BAD mind you. Anyone who can go on regular, physical dates with their partner and is open to new experiences and getting to know their partner better should definitely consider giving this a try. I just expected more substance and scientific backing. Again, it's listicle material. But it's still not bad, so if you like, go ahead and do it. Just be aware that you'll only truly get value out of this book if you actually have those eight conversations (or possibly, the eight full dates) with a partner, it's not just a book you can read and set aside.

9 people found this helpful

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  • A. F mutsvangwa
  • 2020-04-13

Great advice that I will cherish

When you gi on you tube for dating advice, they tell you that great men dont pay too much attention to their woman and be needy. This book is saying the opposite but encouraging me to work at my relationship and cherish my wife . This is more superior advice and I will take heed. Thank you for this great book

1 person found this helpful

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  • Daniel Kaufman
  • 2019-12-21

Loved it

So insightful. I look forward to going on these dates and asking and answering these questions!

5 people found this helpful

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  • Marjorie McLennon
  • 2019-12-20

Fantastic

Practical information for any couple on the journey towards a triumphant marriage! Can't wait to implement what I have learned! Well done!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Casey
  • 2020-10-22

Love the Gottmans

I’ve read multiple books of theirs and I’m always very impressed and grateful for their knowledge and insight. My favorite books by far.

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  • Qewew22
  • 2020-10-21

Great Information

I believe it could our relationship if he had the time to talk. We don't live together so to ask him to do this when he works 7 days a week right with little sleep feels like too much pressure on him. I hope we can implement this information in our relationship if we survive his work schedule the next few months.

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  • Kasper Madsen
  • 2020-10-21

Great advice

I recommend to get smarter on your relationship. It pays dividends to invest in your marriage

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  • Ross Flynn
  • 2020-08-18

Exceptional

This has been an exceptional book. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I experience this book as one of the most practical and insightful I’ve ever read. A must read for all who yearn for a fun and delightful long term relationship.

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  • Roselie
  • 2020-07-31

insightful

The only words I used to describe this book is awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome.