Listen free for 30 days

Audible Membership

$14.95 a month

1 credit a month, good for any title to download and keep.
The Plus Catalogue—listen all you want to thousands of Audible Originals, podcasts, and audiobooks.
$14.95 a month plus applicable taxes after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
Buy Now for $25.00

Buy Now for $25.00

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Tax where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. 

Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range - from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions - will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before - and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve. 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2018 John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams (P)2019 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Eight Dates

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    52
  • 4 Stars
    8
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    34
  • 4 Stars
    7
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    33
  • 4 Stars
    7
  • 3 Stars
    3
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Interesting but not life-changing

The book offers a number of interesting ideas and insights. We followed the dates, and found that having conversations was very useful. Of course the 8 dates did not change our lives or dramatically improved our marriage, but I found some utility in them. Nothing replaces counselling, but this book gives a number of handy tools for self-care and self-maintenance. I would recommend it, with a caveat not to expect magic transformations.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Informational

This book was delivered straight to the point with multiple examples that can fit into any real life couple scenarios. I especially enjoyed the text about the studied couples and what they got out of the eight dates experiences with each other.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

everyone should read this book

I have listened to it twice. I absolutely love this book. so much to learn.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Lr
  • 2020-11-04

Narrator leaves something to be desired

I was not enjoying the female narrator. i hope all quiz content is available online

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Chad
  • 2020-02-16

Decent date ideas

This is apparently the product of some smart, hard-working researchers who have spent an amazing amount of time studying relationships and romantic interactions in minute detail. They swear they can tell which relationships will last and which won't. The scientific formula? It depends on whether you usually speak positively or negatively about your partner. It's not hard to imagine that someone who constantly criticizes their partner is unlikely to have a happy, healthy long relationship with them. That hardly seemed to need the intense scientific scrutiny.

But surely there's more to it, more to the book than that, right?

The book itself consists of eight date ideas, each with a suggested conversation. The date ideas are fine. They'll be fun for some people, but not a good idea for others. Ok, great. That could easily be a short listicle somewhere. As for the conversations, they are each important subjects, to be sure. Do they really benefit from being matched with the date ideas? Have the authors run experiments to determine that these eight dates each lead to more successful relationships, have they run scientifically controlled experiments with different permutations to figure out the exact ingredients that make these eight dates magically work? Maybe I missed it, but I heard no such thing. It sounded rather more like the authors discussed what they felt were the most important topics for relationship partners to discuss, then made up random ideas for dates in which to discuss each of those topics.

It isn't BAD mind you. Anyone who can go on regular, physical dates with their partner and is open to new experiences and getting to know their partner better should definitely consider giving this a try. I just expected more substance and scientific backing. Again, it's listicle material. But it's still not bad, so if you like, go ahead and do it. Just be aware that you'll only truly get value out of this book if you actually have those eight conversations (or possibly, the eight full dates) with a partner, it's not just a book you can read and set aside.

29 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Johanna Piepel
  • 2020-12-10

Robot computer voice!!

I couldn’t even listen to this book because of the robot/computer sounding voice! Very disappointing.

24 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-01-21

What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!

This is complete bs. The reader is a robot?!?! Am super dissappointed. Change it now.

53 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Elizabeth R. Ferrer
  • 2021-02-23

Worksheets

It would be great to have access to ALL worksheets. By going to the website mentioned in the book/audio you can get some of the pdf’s, but not all.

12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Brian Sachetta
  • 2020-07-08

Straightforward and informative

What I liked most about this book was the idea the authors put forth that a great love story is a never-ending conversation. This notion runs counter to the prevailing notions in our media — ones that say love is an easy, happily-ever-after tale. In reality, keeping our relationships fresh takes hard work and openness, again and again.

This book helps readers analyze all aspects of their relationships, then ask the right questions in regard to each subject. As the authors state, as long as we are willing to do the work, willing to commit and be forever curious about our partners, we will keep our love alive.

But that love cannot last if we don’t keep the conversation open. This book helps bring that message to light. It’s a quick, straightforward, and to-the-point read. I’d recommend checking it out.

-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head”

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Simon
  • 2020-05-01

What a stupid book full of basic universal express

This is the book equivalent of a fake copy. Someone made a cheap and nasty version of what could barely pass as a book.
Also : The reader is a bot. Seriously?

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Daniel Kaufman
  • 2019-12-21

Loved it

So insightful. I look forward to going on these dates and asking and answering these questions!

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Kellie
  • 2021-05-23

Great insight

I really enjoyed this book. It was recommended to me by my therapist. Have me perspective and tools on how to communicate my important values in a partnership and learn to ask more questions about my
Partners important values. It allows good open ended questions and insights in my partner. Never assume what your partner is thinking and conflict is healthy.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Jami Vlachos
  • 2021-01-12

A must for every couple

If you can get past the droning monotone of the narrators who seem to be hyper focused on over enunciating, you will have found a lifeline. I studied the Gottman’s work in college and was intrigued and wanted to work with them then and now I get to through not just listening and learning but through the activities and purposeful date nights!! With 40 years of relationship research they are true experts in the field. Do yourself a favor and get this title!!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Qewew22
  • 2020-10-21

Great Information

I believe it could our relationship if he had the time to talk. We don't live together so to ask him to do this when he works 7 days a week right with little sleep feels like too much pressure on him. I hope we can implement this information in our relationship if we survive his work schedule the next few months.

1 person found this helpful