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Eight Dates

Written by: John Gottman PhD,Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD,Doug Abrams,Rachel Carlton Abrams
Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin,Julie McKay
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Publisher's Summary

Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. 

Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range - from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions - will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before - and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve. 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2018 John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams (P)2019 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Eight Dates

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Interesting but not life-changing

The book offers a number of interesting ideas and insights. We followed the dates, and found that having conversations was very useful. Of course the 8 dates did not change our lives or dramatically improved our marriage, but I found some utility in them. Nothing replaces counselling, but this book gives a number of handy tools for self-care and self-maintenance. I would recommend it, with a caveat not to expect magic transformations.

3 people found this helpful

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  • E
  • 2021-12-16

Painful to listen too

I’d buy the paper copy! This is painful to listen too!!!! Both the male and female voice are so robotic..

1 person found this helpful

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Informational

This book was delivered straight to the point with multiple examples that can fit into any real life couple scenarios. I especially enjoyed the text about the studied couples and what they got out of the eight dates experiences with each other.

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everyone should read this book

I have listened to it twice. I absolutely love this book. so much to learn.

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Simple and easy to follow

I realized that there is a longer version of the book but nonetheless it is a great starting point for established couples.

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Practical

This book was very informative and practical. Loved the examples and I think these are lifelong suggestions that can be applied to any stage of a relationship. Being honest, understanding of where people are and being respectful of the decisions of others we key takeaways.

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Thought provoking!

Such a great book if you’re building something new with someone or if you’ve been with someone for a long time. The discussion questions are thought provoking and interesting and it helps develop more of an understanding and connection to your partner if both of you are open and honest. I would highly recommend!

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Makes more sense as a hard copy

I liked this book but it’s filled with questions to ask your partner so it makes little sense as an audiobook, what am I going to transcribe the questions so I can bring them with me on the date?? 😂 also, this book is not a light read, it’s brings up so many questions that I often had to take a step back and completely rethink things. Which was good, but it felt heavy at times. Again, I think it would have been better for me to take it piece by piece in hard copy form. It’s almost like a workbook.

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grateful for this recommendation

From JJ, I'm looking forward to our eighty thousand and one dates & nights together ❤

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  • Lr
  • 2020-11-04

Narrator leaves something to be desired

I was not enjoying the female narrator. i hope all quiz content is available online

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-01-21

What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!

This is complete bs. The reader is a robot?!?! Am super dissappointed. Change it now.

71 people found this helpful

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  • Johanna Piepel
  • 2020-12-10

Robot computer voice!!

I couldn’t even listen to this book because of the robot/computer sounding voice! Very disappointing.

43 people found this helpful

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  • Chad
  • 2020-02-16

Decent date ideas

This is apparently the product of some smart, hard-working researchers who have spent an amazing amount of time studying relationships and romantic interactions in minute detail. They swear they can tell which relationships will last and which won't. The scientific formula? It depends on whether you usually speak positively or negatively about your partner. It's not hard to imagine that someone who constantly criticizes their partner is unlikely to have a happy, healthy long relationship with them. That hardly seemed to need the intense scientific scrutiny.

But surely there's more to it, more to the book than that, right?

The book itself consists of eight date ideas, each with a suggested conversation. The date ideas are fine. They'll be fun for some people, but not a good idea for others. Ok, great. That could easily be a short listicle somewhere. As for the conversations, they are each important subjects, to be sure. Do they really benefit from being matched with the date ideas? Have the authors run experiments to determine that these eight dates each lead to more successful relationships, have they run scientifically controlled experiments with different permutations to figure out the exact ingredients that make these eight dates magically work? Maybe I missed it, but I heard no such thing. It sounded rather more like the authors discussed what they felt were the most important topics for relationship partners to discuss, then made up random ideas for dates in which to discuss each of those topics.

It isn't BAD mind you. Anyone who can go on regular, physical dates with their partner and is open to new experiences and getting to know their partner better should definitely consider giving this a try. I just expected more substance and scientific backing. Again, it's listicle material. But it's still not bad, so if you like, go ahead and do it. Just be aware that you'll only truly get value out of this book if you actually have those eight conversations (or possibly, the eight full dates) with a partner, it's not just a book you can read and set aside.

40 people found this helpful

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  • Elizabeth R. Ferrer
  • 2021-02-23

Worksheets

It would be great to have access to ALL worksheets. By going to the website mentioned in the book/audio you can get some of the pdf’s, but not all.

22 people found this helpful

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  • CJ H. in AZ
  • 2021-06-16

Great message, terrible narration

I have read or watched several of Gottman’s works. I find him to be an insightful and entertaining researcher and presenter. This book is chock full of great information to help a variety of couples. The narration is terrible. The male narrator is really more suited for fiction as the tone and cadence of his voice takes on a tension that is unnecessary here. The female narrator has an urgency to her voice that does not fit the content.
Overall, it’s an insightful and enjoyable relationship book. I will likely purchase a hard copy because the narration was not worth sitting through again.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Daniel Kaufman
  • 2019-12-21

Loved it

So insightful. I look forward to going on these dates and asking and answering these questions!

7 people found this helpful

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  • Brian Sachetta
  • 2020-07-08

Straightforward and informative

What I liked most about this book was the idea the authors put forth that a great love story is a never-ending conversation. This notion runs counter to the prevailing notions in our media — ones that say love is an easy, happily-ever-after tale. In reality, keeping our relationships fresh takes hard work and openness, again and again.

This book helps readers analyze all aspects of their relationships, then ask the right questions in regard to each subject. As the authors state, as long as we are willing to do the work, willing to commit and be forever curious about our partners, we will keep our love alive.

But that love cannot last if we don’t keep the conversation open. This book helps bring that message to light. It’s a quick, straightforward, and to-the-point read. I’d recommend checking it out.

-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head”

5 people found this helpful

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  • SD
  • 2022-12-10

Wish I had read this before or during my last relationship

After my boyfriend of two years broke up with me out of the blue I wondered how I didn’t see it coming. I quickly realized for all the long conversations we had, we never really dug deep into each others desires, fears, concerns or dreams, and we did have a thread to pull on as things started to change and get hard, which led me to this book. I wish I could go back to that relationship armed with these questions and try again, but alas I will have to settle for the lesson learned and know that I’m now more prepared for the next one

3 people found this helpful

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  • Chris Kristiansen
  • 2021-06-26

Not great as an audiobook.

It includes a lot of exercises and questions to answer as a couple, so I think it's not really suitable for an audiobook.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Marjorie McLennon
  • 2019-12-20

Fantastic

Practical information for any couple on the journey towards a triumphant marriage! Can't wait to implement what I have learned! Well done!

3 people found this helpful