Get a free audiobook

CDN$ 14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Publisher's Summary

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment - the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

  • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back  
  • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.  
  • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

*Includes a PDF of the attachment style questionnaire

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2010 Amir Levine (P)2019 Penguin Audio

What the critics say

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read, and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or - as in my case - even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse." (Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American)

"Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures - finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on 25 years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader." (Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research) 

What listeners say about Attached

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    296
  • 4 Stars
    59
  • 3 Stars
    13
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    3
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    226
  • 4 Stars
    42
  • 3 Stars
    13
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    2
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    225
  • 4 Stars
    45
  • 3 Stars
    11
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    1

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Overall informative but lacking in diversity

This book was very informative for me and I think will be very helpful in my life, I appreciated the concrete things one can do to work towards a secure attachment style. However, it was disappointing to see that a research based text could be so devoid of mentioning any sort of diversity of relationships or how culture intersects. It is annoyingly heteronormative and has a strictly monogamous view on relationships. It also doesn't take into account how other factors, such as mental health, may impact attachment styles (imo this can play a huge role).

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Single most important book about relationships!

This book is brilliant. It is the single most important book about relationships. Be sure to use the attached PDFS for the quizzes portions.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing insight - must read!

A must read for all individuals as a base of understanding and supporting healthy interpersonal relationships in romance (and possibly non work relationships & friendships as well).

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

no background on attachment styles

I think more background regarding as to why these attachment styles behave a certain way would have helped understand them better. Without such explanation avoidants come off as complete selfish jerks in this book. Overall, I like the examples, explanation, and all the research that is given.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing book

This is one of the most useful and informative books I’ve ever read, narrated impeccably.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

great book

loved it, some really helpful tips and knowledge within this book. would recommend to all.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Highly recommended

The most important book that you will ever read. I'm still trying to gather myself from the shock of the truths that were revealed.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

The concept it LIFE CHANGING

The overall story is not captivating by any means, its a small series of stories as examples. The over all concept was life changing. It helped me better understand my self and why i go for the men that i do and why others act the way they do.
highly recommend it.
if you are struggling with relationships and wondering why nobody will commit to you, they just date you for 5 years with no ability to give you a concrete future then read or listen to this book!
Ive let every one of my friends AND BF borrow it.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Eye opening

A must read for anyone who is either entering relationship or in one currently. All questions answered, as far as I'm concerned. It explained why my 13 years marriage failed despite our best efforts and deep love we had for each other at the beginning. I do hope the guiding principles will help me in the dating world, well... once I am ready to go there.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Life changing!

This book is amazing way to look at your needs and realize you’re not needy, they just aren’t capable of meeting your emotional needs. It’s not you, it’s not them... it’s just not meant to be.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Mark
  • 2020-02-01

Good book - just not a good one for Audible

There were just too many tests and checklists in this book for it to be a descent audio book. The information is good, but much better suited to a real book to get the most out of it.

34 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Jasmine
  • 2019-12-17

Very "self help" but overall good information

My main complaints about this book are that it's not very inclusive of folks who practice ethical non-monogamy or polyamory. And I disagree with some small parts of what they say. However, the main information in this book is incredibly helpful in all relationships, even if this is focused on romantic and sexual ones. Helped me realize some things about myself, and I will recommend it to others. Essential reading for anyone dating in the modern age.

19 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-11-23

No More Leaving It Up to “Chance”

I am of the rare category this book briefly touches on: An individual who simultaneously possesses both an anxious and an avoidant attachment style in relationships.

Between this book and B. van der Kolk’s, The Body Keeps the Score, I feel almost reborn. To be aware of the issues I have brought into relationships, even if they’re of a platonic nature, feels incredibly enlightening, powerful, and revealing.

This book in particular felt as though I was being liberated from “fate”, while at the same time, exposing me to the unhelpful thinking patterns that have been accomplice in keeping me from having the type of relationship I truly desire with a partner.

It helped me understand my accountability and the accountability of others in a relationship; it helped me reshape the way I viewed dependency; gave me incredibly relatable scenarios of areas where I know I need to improve (without making me feel awful); and gave me tips on how to spot behaviors that aren’t going to be helpful in myself, or with a potential/current partner if I want to be the most fulfilled I can be in a relationship.

To say I’m grateful is an understatement.

If you’re tired of leaving things to chance and sincerely want to understand the simple things of what you can do to be ready for and aware of the type of relationship you want, this book is the best place to start.

17 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Rachel
  • 2020-06-15

Wow

I have never written a book review before but this was easily one of the most important books I have ever read. Do not hesitate. Highly recommend!!!

13 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-06-30

For those Mourning a Breakup

This helped me so much to get over a relationship and recognize what I need in a partner.

10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Myles114
  • 2020-04-23

Decidedly Helpful but too Narrowly Focused

The theories presented are undoubtedly helpful in our understanding of relationships and how we “attach” to others. However I found the content slanted in favour of traditional monogamous pair bonds. In no way did it consider or even acknowledge how this information may be applied or interpreted in other viable emergent relationship arrangements.

9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-04-21

One sided, but informative

Overall the book is average, based on its one sided point of view. Often times the author sided with the Anxious attachment perspective. This view point could leave someone with the thought, no change is necessary on their end. I would reccomend this book to almost anyone, but don't take it for gospel. I believe this book allows you to understand your attachment style and recognize your protest cues, so I'll recommend based on that perspective.

8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-06-10

It’s good to know you are not alone

I always thought it’s just me (I have both anxious & avoidant behaviours) but after this book I know what my problems are, it’s good to view my issues in relationships from a third person.

I love how this book put a lot of examples/stories and also tell us how we should do instead. But I wish it could explain more and deeper on how to change the mindset and behaviour.

Recommend to everyone.

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Jonathan Wilson
  • 2020-12-01

Interesting science, poor interpretation

Basically it says, anxious people need to avoid dating about 90% of the available dating field. Then it gives you red flags to look for in who to avoid.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • tkA
  • 2021-03-26

Great read but...

This was a great read! Very eye-opening. It however could have been much better.Its faults include: it is very obviously biased towards those with the anxious/preoccupied attachment style; it gives the impression that those with secure attachment style are holly good fellas that just roll through life in a state of perpetual joy and satisfaction; it does not mention anything about the underlying cause of the attachment styles (which was utterly disappointing); and finally, it gives the impression that the attachment styles are fixed across all relationship types (including non romantic ones) and I dont feel this is true.

3 people found this helpful

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Client d'Amazon
  • 2020-09-08

Great book that everyone should listen to

Talks about 3 types of attachement styles. Learned a lot about my type and my partner type and What to do or how to communicante.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Ralfe
  • 2020-08-18

Great lessons

A skillful presentation of current research-based lessons for relationship success. i wish i had this book years ago!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • lemon pie
  • 2020-05-29

A game changer

A fascinating and potentially life changing book about relationship styles - I hung on to every word!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Laetitia
  • 2020-05-13

Génial

Un must have, bénéfique pour tout le monde en couple ou pas! A écouter et réécouter