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Attached

The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love
Written by: Amir Levine, Rachel Heller
Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
4.8 out of 5 stars (189 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment - the most advanced relationship science in existence today - can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

  • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back  
  • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.  
  • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

*Includes a PDF of the attachment style questionnaire

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2010 Amir Levine (P)2019 Penguin Audio

What the critics say

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." (John Gray, PhD., best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read, and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or - as in my case - even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse." (Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American)

"Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures - finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on 25 years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader." (Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research) 

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What listeners say about Attached

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  • Overall
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    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing insight - must read!

A must read for all individuals as a base of understanding and supporting healthy interpersonal relationships in romance (and possibly non work relationships & friendships as well).

1 person found this helpful

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Great book

Real life situations easy to relate to. If your struggling with any conflict in a relationship this book could in fact shed light on why your partner responds in a particular manner.

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if you are a human, you need to listen to this

Great purchase! have recommended to all my friends - lol anyone really. Anytime we can easily learn about ourselves and others and how to improve communication is a great thing

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Can it be? Is a logical perspective possible? Yep

In being told about this book by my lash lady in a rare occurrence of open up about herself.. She told me how much of an insight she received from this book.. After physically reading it. And she was right! No wonder she had the drive to finish it! I have listened to it twice already and gained more perspective on things that used to eat at me and my insecurities, but now I understand and have a new focus on my current relationship. Knowing that I can and actually have a secure relationship.. It is not impossible. Ps. Love the PDF!

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It was transforming to my relationships

It helped me see all my relationships with more clarity and understanding, giving me more grace to deal with others with a different attachment style! My new boyfriend also has enjoyed the benefits of the teachings of this book through more of an awareness bringing us closer

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love this book

I wish I could send it for free to everyone I know. Next goal is to find a similar book on parenting.

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Interesting material that’s easy to follow

I didn’t have many expectations from this book and was pleasantly impressed! First of all, the content is very interesting, the narrator does a great job at explaining the material, it’s based on many research studies and I find it very useful in understanding myself and my previous partners.

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Great Book

Very informative book. I should have read that book 20 years ago that you have helped me not redo the same mistakes.

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  • NBR
  • 2020-05-26

beneficial

I've had issues with infidelity and turned to this book to help me strengthen my relationship and what I'm looking for. i found this a great help and some direct connections to my life. My gf and i sat and did that exercises together along with listening to some relevant sections that we both listened to.

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  • Bee
  • 2020-05-25

Eye opening!

Well read and Taught me so much about myself! I knew little of the attachment styles but after this I have identified what I am and why I am the way I am. A must read for anyone like myself that's had relationship problems.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Mark
  • 2020-02-01

Good book - just not a good one for Audible

There were just too many tests and checklists in this book for it to be a descent audio book. The information is good, but much better suited to a real book to get the most out of it.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Jasmine
  • 2019-12-17

Very "self help" but overall good information

My main complaints about this book are that it's not very inclusive of folks who practice ethical non-monogamy or polyamory. And I disagree with some small parts of what they say. However, the main information in this book is incredibly helpful in all relationships, even if this is focused on romantic and sexual ones. Helped me realize some things about myself, and I will recommend it to others. Essential reading for anyone dating in the modern age.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Rachel
  • 2020-06-15

Wow

I have never written a book review before but this was easily one of the most important books I have ever read. Do not hesitate. Highly recommend!!!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2019-11-16

Life Changing

Everyone should check out this book. It's life changing, especially if you are an avoidant or anxious attachment style.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-06-30

For those Mourning a Breakup

This helped me so much to get over a relationship and recognize what I need in a partner.

2 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-06-10

It’s good to know you are not alone

I always thought it’s just me (I have both anxious & avoidant behaviours) but after this book I know what my problems are, it’s good to view my issues in relationships from a third person. I love how this book put a lot of examples/stories and also tell us how we should do instead. But I wish it could explain more and deeper on how to change the mindset and behaviour. Recommend to everyone.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Myles114
  • 2020-04-23

Decidedly Helpful but too Narrowly Focused

The theories presented are undoubtedly helpful in our understanding of relationships and how we “attach” to others. However I found the content slanted in favour of traditional monogamous pair bonds. In no way did it consider or even acknowledge how this information may be applied or interpreted in other viable emergent relationship arrangements.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Norma Guido
  • 2019-12-25

Amazing material

Great book overall. But you really need to be paying attention the entire time. At times it can be a little dry but the material it covers is amazing

4 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-04-21

One sided, but informative

Overall the book is average, based on its one sided point of view. Often times the author sided with the Anxious attachment perspective. This view point could leave someone with the thought, no change is necessary on their end. I would reccomend this book to almost anyone, but don't take it for gospel. I believe this book allows you to understand your attachment style and recognize your protest cues, so I'll recommend based on that perspective.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2019-11-07

5 Stars

This book was eye opening and life changing. I hope it can help others as it has and will help me.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Client d'Amazon
  • 2020-09-08

Great book that everyone should listen to

Talks about 3 types of attachement styles. Learned a lot about my type and my partner type and What to do or how to communicante.

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  • Ralfe
  • 2020-08-18

Great lessons

A skillful presentation of current research-based lessons for relationship success. i wish i had this book years ago!

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  • lemon pie
  • 2020-05-29

A game changer

A fascinating and potentially life changing book about relationship styles - I hung on to every word!

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  • Laetitia
  • 2020-05-13

Génial

Un must have, bénéfique pour tout le monde en couple ou pas! A écouter et réécouter