This post was originally published on Audible.com.
Developing the right vocabulary can be a lifeline to someone who is struggling to name their experiences, identify toxic patterns, or see a positive way forward. Naming emotions and patterns of behavior are some of the foundational tools trained therapists and counselors use to help their clients navigate the healing process. But when used inappropriately, “therapy speak” can have a negative effect on communication and well-being.
Appropriation, misapplication, and even weaponization of terms is a growing issue, especially on social media, where people have widely thrown around phrases to describe a bad day, a minor interpersonal disagreement, or, at its worst, to deflect from accountability and project onto victims as a manipulation tactic. The misuse comes at a steep cost: devaluing the impact of the terms for those who stand to benefit from them, hindering communication and meaningful conflict-resolution in interpersonal relationships, and even creating psychological damage to already vulnerable recipients.
That’s why I’ve pulled together this list of “therapy speak” terms, their definitions, and recommended listens by leading professionals to dive even deeper into each topic. I hope this guide serves as a steppingstone for listeners to identify their wellness needs and foster more effective interpersonal communication.
1. Trauma
What it is: A psychological and emotional response to a deeply disturbing or distressing event that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope. Traumatic experiences can lead to long-lasting adverse effects on mental, physical, emotional, and behavioral well-being.
What it isn’t: A minor inconvenience, disappointment, or temporary discomfort.
Related terms: Distress, anguish, or adversity.
Recommended listen: . Dr. Bessel van der Kolk is a pioneering psychologist who specializes in trauma therapy. In this seminal work, Dr. Kolk explores the physical and mental effects of trauma, and offers several paths forward to treating the symptoms and causes of traumatic injury.
2. Codependency
What it is: An unhealthy, dysfunctional pattern of behavior in which an individual's sense of self-worth and identity becomes heavily reliant on their relationships with others, often resulting in sacrificing their own needs and boundaries.
What it isn’t: A close, supportive, and interdependent relationship built on mutual trust and respect.
Related terms: Enmeshment, emotional dependency, or lack of boundaries. . Melody Beattie, who coined the term “codependent” in her breakout guide to identifying and healing from enmeshed and toxic relationships, delivers this essential follow-up for a new generation, clearing up misconceptions and identifying how codependent behavior has changed.
