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It's Not You

Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

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It's Not You

Auteur(s): Ramani Durvasula PhD
Narrateur(s): Ramani Durvasula PhD, Maria Shriver
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À propos de cet audio

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism

AN OPEN FIELD PUBLICATION FROM MARIA SHRIVER

It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently?

As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.

Deeply compassionate and revelatory, It’s Not You examines how narcissists hijack our wellbeing and offers a healing path forward. Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching, and helping clients navigate the landscape of narcissism, Dr. Durvasula unpacks the oft-misunderstood personality, showing how to identify the telltale signs that you may be dealing with a narcissist and protect yourself from their toxic influence. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep us stuck in these cycles, grieve the losses, create realistic boundaries, learn the fine art of discernment, and recover your sense of self after years of invalidation.

Healing and thriving after or even during a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but it is possible. It's Not You shows that the first step is to stop trying to change the narcissistic person, stop blaming yourself, and start giving yourself permission to foster your autonomy and sense of self outside of this relationship.

©2024 Ramani Durvasula (P)2024 Penguin Audio
Abus Développement personnel Estime de soi Les meilleurs de 2024 Psychologie Psychologie et santé mentale Relations Relations dysfonctionnelles Santé mentale Éducation des enfants Santé

Ce que les critiques en disent

“A must read. Dr. Ramani will teach you how to heal from any toxic relationship. With her expert advice based on decades of research and clinical experience, she makes the impossible seem possible.”–Mel Robbins, bestselling author of The High Five Habit and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast

“Dr. Ramani has written the book on narcissism for our times, not simply because it upends everything we thought we knew about this personality, but because it gives real people a sense of hope…that they can heal, that they can move forward from these relationships, that it’s not you.”–Maria Shriver

“In writing It's Not You, Dr. Durvasula directly addresses victims of narcissistic abuse with targeted advice developed through years of clinical experience and research. I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling in a relationship with a narcissist. Once you realize it's not you who is the problem, you can become the solution.”–W. Keith Campbell, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Georgia and author of The Narcissism Epidemic

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The realization of the different classifications of narcissism did not fully prepare me for the realization of just how much has been surrounded by these people and experiences my entire life. This book won’t leave my side longer after I finished reading it and done the long deep self repairfrom way back in my childhood highly recommend

Wow!! Life Changing!!

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This book is incredibly insightful. Especially since it is written from a mental health professional the advice is very solid. Theres a lot of different examples, and while not everything related to me I found the whole book to be an incredible resource.

Very Insightful

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This is a book I'll listen to over and over again. So much helpful and insightful information. Straight forward and to the point. I love the work that Dr. Ramani does!

100000% worth it!!!

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well rounded. very informative. buying the hardcover for future reference. I highly recommend this to help you move forward from narc abuse.

mind-blowing!

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Dr Ramani has lifted the curtains to shed significant light on the relational trauma inflicted by narcissists. This book could not be more timely for people struggling in the emotional and often confusing landscape of these toxic relationships. The insights of Dr Ramani are at times beautifully unconventional and medically provocative. This book is a breath of fresh air for anyone who has endured the dysfunction and crazed patterns of narcissists. The solutions are honest and intelligent and so necessary. There are tonnes of relatable examples. I believe there is exceptional take aways for any reader. Would recommend this book over and over. Absolutely excellent!

Compelling

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felt very validated. There were a lot of connections with my childhood. Helped me to really understand that it wasn't my fault. I was not nor am I to this day a bad kid. Also helps me to maintain somewhat of a relationship with my narcissistic parent, without being surprised or hurt by their words

it's well laid out and it's informative.

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A must read for anyone who has ever experienced narcissistic abuse. It can feel so lonely and confusing, to the point of debilitating sadness and just pain. This not only eases those feelings but provides helpful ways of processing and moving on.

Gives comfort through relatable content

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Unlimited amounts of aha moments with this book. Everyone should read this book. Valuable insights

Eye opening

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I thought I was already pretty informed and far along in my recovery but Dr. Ramani’s compassionate wisdom has given me a new perspective. My life was revolving around a black hole and now I’ve shifted my focus there’s a whole sparkly universe out there and I’m a valuable part of it.

Life changing

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This book is a God send. So thankful I read it and will read again if I ever forget my worth like that again.

It’s exactly what I needed

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