The Light Hit Just Right – Episode 2

When you hear the phrase “man of the house,” what rises up in you—pride, fear, confusion? For so many of us, that role has carried a narrow definition: toughness, aggression, never letting your guard down. But what if that picture is incomplete? What if being a man also requires tenderness?

In this episode of The Light Hit Just Right, I reflect on the ways men—especially Gen X men—were taught to cut off softness in order to survive. We were expected to be strong in the streets and carried that same edge into our homes. The result? Strained relationships with our wives, girlfriends, daughters, and mothers. We learned to fight, but not to sit with pain. We were told to push through, but never shown how to grieve.

Growing up in a single-parent household or in communities where fathers were absent made it even harder. Too many boys were forced into manhood before they were ready, trading tenderness for toughness just to get by. And yet, the absence of tenderness leaves a hole that no amount of swagger or strength can fill.

What I believe now is this: tenderness is not weakness. Compassion isn’t feminine. Love isn’t optional. They are essentials of manhood. To heal ourselves and guide the next generation, we have to practice kindness toward ourselves first, then learn to show up for our brothers, our families, and our communities in love.

This episode is an invitation to reframe masculinity—not as aggression without end, but as courage balanced with compassion. Because at the end of the day, the measure of a man isn’t how hard he stands—it’s how fully he loves.

• (00:00:00) - Just Right
• (00:00:19) - Don't Lose Yourself While Working Your Corporate Job
• (00:03:21) - The Real Man Of The House
• (00:09:32) - Black Men Need To Be Tougher
• (00:18:06) - How Men Get Through Grief
• (00:24:50) - Do Men Need To Be More Tender?
• (00:32:00) - Men need community
• (00:37:20) - Men need to Stop Being Reactive