Give ‘Til it Helps - Your Company

My first reaction to Andrew M. Grant’s “Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Management” was “You’ve got to be kidding! Are you really telling me that if we hold hands, sing ‘Kumbaya’, and share our shovels in the sandbox, everything will be okay at the office?”
That’s not what Grant was saying - at all – but it took an uncomfortably long time for him to get to that point.

Grant advances the position that those who give generously, both professionally and personally, are more likely to be successful than “takers” (about 15% of people) or “matchers” ( about 70%). It’s a compelling argument, and Grant backs up his position with widely regarded studies and valid statistics. According to Grant, a business organization is well served by finding and developing givers (sharers), whose collaborative work with other givers often returns far more than the work of takers or matchers.

Grant also points out an important fault of givers: Statistically, givers are also more likely to be low achievers or failures, if they become “doormats.” Grant has some valuable tips for doormats to recognize takers, and extract themselves from “no sum” or “negative sum” relationships.

I listened to “Give and Take” on the heels of Sheryl Sandberg’s 2013 “Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead” I wondered until halfway through the book if Grant was even considering women in the workplace. Many of the “giver” techniques he recommends are the very techniques that, when used by women leaders, erode whatever leadership foundation they have.

Grant eventually points out that the communication techniques he is recommending will not work for anyone presenting in a leadership role (at a board meeting, for example), although they will work for a leader as a team member.

Grant has some invaluable tips for how women can effectively negotiate higher salaries and gain respect in an organization, even while they are “givers” (or “sharers”, in my parlance).

This book didn’t have the impact “Lean In” did for me, but it had some invaluable suggestions I will incorporate into my life. I am now much more confident about being a “giver” and recognizing “takers”.

I had an unexpected issue with the narration of this book: Brian Keith Davis, the reader, is so smooth, he reminded me of Casey Kasem, the host of American Top 40. I listened to that radio show every Sunday night as a teenager, eagerly waiting to find out what the new Number 1 song was. Several times, after an especially positive anecdote in “Give and Take”, I expected to hear a current pop song. As I write this review, the Number 1 Billboard song Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Thrift Shop.” That is especially apropos for this book.

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Could have been a 6 hour book

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Some good stuff but seems like there was lots of fluff. He told 10 stories about one item felt like lots of fluff. The concepts are good but just long.

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recycled material

since I just finished this, my thoughts are very fresh and, I assume, will change over time as I reflect on the material...I have heard so many great things about this book, but it seems that it was essentially a book report around the "giving" theme of other, more original work. This reinforced the benefit I gained by reading all of the referenced books, and connected those books around this theme, but provided little new value. However, maybe the genius of the book isn't that Mr Grant has new ideas, but that he wanted to shine a spotlight on other great works and GIVE them more exposure. My guess is that if I was one of the authors of the several books referenced, I'd be flattered and happy to hear my work so highly spoken of.

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Good guys don't alway finish last

What did you love best about Give and Take?

Listening to this book was refreshing, exciting and rewarding. Why? Because it shows that success doesn't need to come at the expense of others but by helping others.

Personally, I always questioned wether my urge to help others was affecting my success business in a negative way. Maybe I just needed to become a more tough and less compassionate entrepreneur? Now I know that being kind and giving to others can lead to bigger success than being unkind and taking from others.

Being a (very) successful giver is possible, that's great news!

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Great perspective on reciprocity style

I think it’s wonderful that the author writes this book. The first 1/3rd was a required read for class and was wonderful to explain the basics.

The rest of the book has gems and lots of interesting research findings on how to create a more generous society.

My only gripe with the book is that the author often associates too much behavior to reciprocity styles, but his perspective vs. mine. Where he associates something to a reciprocity style, I would like to think there’s more internal motivation based on a person’s values when no one is watching... but it’s still really good to hear his take on why people do what they do.

Definitely an above average book despite its small flaws though imho!

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A few real surprises

Would you listen to Give and Take again? Why?

I'll be listening to this book again, at least once. I will be putting time into some changes based on the compassion fatigue concept and the lek concept -- really new ideas for me.

Any additional comments?

The idea that people don't burn out due to overwork but instead underwin -- I'm going to be putting that into action right away.

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Oversimplified

Hate it. Not the study of success. Putting down Michael Jordan compared to some nobody that was "kind". B.S. Too woo woo for me. Black and white "giver and taker" styles. Really annoyed by this book.

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Finally - A Way to Measure Giving!

This book was an excellent book because it dared to present to all of us the power of selfless acts. Too often we are informed that the only way to measure success is what you go and do for yourself. This book highlights evidence that you can measure and quantify your success by what you do for others. Thank you!

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Not a persuasive book

This wasn't a persuasive book about how you can be a Giver and still be successful. There were a lot of anecdotal stories of how Givers overcame obstacles and became successful. And it's comforting to hear that nice people can win. However, both Givers and Takers have been successful and have failed. There aren't any facts to back up that being a Giver is better overall in the long run.

If you are a Giver, the book does point out some vulnerabilities to be aware of, such as too trusting, too empathetic, and too timid. It is followed by a little bit of practical advice, such as offering help to someone and see how the person responds (also give unsolicited, reciprocate with same level of time or effort, or only take). If the person is a Taker, then stop offering help. The relationship will naturally diminish as the Taker finds no value in it when you're not a pushover.

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Just Wonderful!

Very well explained type of guide describing the benefits of being a giver backed up by research.
Definitely a must listen if you are into coaching or leadership.

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