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You're Not Listening

What You're Missing and Why It Matters
Auteur(s): Kate Murphy
Narrateur(s): Kate Murphy
Durée: 6 h et 31 min
4 out of 5 stars (6 évaluations)

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Description

"How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)

At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation. 

On social media, we shape our personal narratives. 

At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. 

We’re not listening. 

And no one is listening to us. 

Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here. 

In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

©2019 Kate Murphy (P)2019 Macmillan Audio

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Au global

  • 4 out of 5 stars
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Performance

  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
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Histoire

  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • Au global
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Holland
  • 2020-02-27

Didn't learn as much as I hoped

The book builds a good case for the value of listening. I didn't find many new practical application of how I might improve my listening skills. The author was pretty liberal with what she labeled as listening. I guess you can get away with that since listening is an internal part of so many aspects of life. Perhaps it is because of unrealistic expectations but the book did not teach me the way that I had hoped.

  • Au global
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    4 out of 5 stars
  • B. Wilhelm
  • 2020-02-21

Hang in there

The first two chapters were sluggish to get through. After that, the book was excellent. There were a lot of great insights and ideas to help me improve my listening skills.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Bike49038
  • 2020-02-17

Very Interesting and Helpful

I loved this book. Conversation so often feels like a competition of one-upmanship with winners and losers - forgetable blah- blah- blah where we talk AT and not TO each other. But this author points out alternatives to conversational narcissism, of which I am too often guilty. I participate in the blah-blah. Yep. But i want to be better. I have have made some beginning steps to avoid poor habits in conversation and try some of the approaches suggested by the author. It takes focus - the implications of that alone are startling. But the rewards thus far have been to sort of push conversation into the pile of the sacred. It feels important. The book could just as easily have been entitled, "An Antidote to Lonliness."

  • Au global
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    2 out of 5 stars
  • KCPD
  • 2020-02-16

Lacking An Overall Theory

At best, the book is only a scattered collection of random thoughts on the very generalized, but undefined, topic of listening. In one chapter, listening is an open minded focus on what another is saying, in another it's the ability to squeeze out of a person a new perspective (ala Terry Gross), and in another it's the ability to be a good salesperson by saying as little as possible. You're not likely to come away from the book with a better understanding of what listening means and how it is best accomplished, but instead with only the admonition that it's a good idea.

I also found the narration unpleasant. The author read the book in a tone of voice that sounded as if she was working her hardest to convince you of what she was saying, but was worried she wasn't succeeding. It sounded as if it was being read by a salesperson.

On the whole, disappointing.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Jennifer
  • 2020-02-02

A Terrific "listen"

This book was recommended by Adam Grant and well worth the investment in time. it is not tips or tricks for making folks like you because you "listen". It is a lesson as to why it is truly more valuable than speaking. This lesson is as to why you should listen. you can figure out the rest yourselves. Nature has given us but one to guess and two ears so we may listen twice as much as we speak.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Jeanne DeShazer
  • 2020-01-27

Outstanding book we all should read.

Very few books make their case as well as this one. Outstanding. Many applicable suggestions.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • MZF
  • 2020-01-26

a conversation with great content

why listening is important and how it can make people feel. using listening as a tool to improve understanding and move you towards what you want. I'll be reading this again for sure. seems like a book I'll take more away from every time I read.

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Just another Amazon review
  • 2020-01-24

One of the greatest books I have ever read

I am a counselor in training and can’t express how glad that I am that I purchased this book. I’ve listened to very few books multiple times, but this is one that I will replay again and again. This information is more important than ever as we live through a loneliness epidemic where loneliness is more dangerous for us than smoking.