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109 From Perfectionism and High Achievement with Jenn Abbatiello

109 From Perfectionism and High Achievement with Jenn Abbatiello

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Parenting isn’t just about raising our kids—it’s also about healing ourselves. In this powerful conversation, Jenn Abbatiello shares her journey from perfectionism and high achievement to learning how to parent with connection, grace, and calm. Together, we dive deep into how generational patterns shape our parenting styles, how to navigate grief and guilt in motherhood, and what it really takes to build a joyful, connected family—without losing yourself in the process.

Whether you're feeling burnt out, stuck in old ways, or unsure how to support your child without repeating the past, this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and ready for change.


Key Takeaways

  • Parenting often brings us to our breaking point—but it’s also an opportunity for transformation.
  • Grief is a natural part of parenting—especially when letting go of our “old life.”
  • You can love your children and miss the life you had before. Both can be true.
  • Punishment and disconnection aren't the only tools. Understanding leads to true change.
  • Kids don’t need us to be perfect—they need us to be regulated and real.
  • We can’t support our children in becoming their true selves if we haven’t done the work ourselves.


Episode Highlights

00:00 – Meet Jenn Abbatiello: Her story of shifting from corporate success to parenting transformation

02:00 – What it feels like to lose joy in motherhood—and why it’s so common

04:30 – Mourning your old life and learning to live in the and

06:15 – The “stoic badge of honor” and how emotions come roaring in with motherhood

10:15 – Why gentle parenting gets misinterpreted—and how to define consequences with compassion

12:30 – A real-life example of consequences vs. punishment with Jenn’s child

14:00 – Andi’s story about her son, Pokémon, and helping him take ownership

16:00 – What schools miss: Executive functioning, stress, and the root cause of meltdowns

17:45 – What to do during a meltdown vs. after a meltdown

20:30 – Why your child’s behavior triggers you—and what that means for your healing

22:00 – Jenn’s story of colic, control, and generational expectations

25:30 – The parenting puzzle: So many pieces, and why healing yourself matters

27:00 – Letting your child be themself—and why that requires your own growth

30:00 – Living someone else's dream vs. letting your kids follow their own

34:00 – Childhood programming, identity, and subconscious stories

36:00 – Andi’s IFS story: How one childhood memory created a lifelong belief

39:00 – Why self-care isn’t selfish—and how to do it in your current season

42:00 – Jenn’s encouragement for parents feeling stuck or overwhelmed

Resources Mentioned

Jenn Abbatiello’s free email series:

  • Name: 3 Critical Steps to...

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