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16: How "you can do anything" turned into "you must do everything"

16: How "you can do anything" turned into "you must do everything"

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Ever feel like a failure? It’s not your fault. As so often happens, society has taken something empowering and turned it into something toxic.Life often feels really heavy and like we have to do too much or risk not being enough. Over the years, the positive belief that “you can do anything you set your mind to” has morphed into the burden of “you HAVE to do everything or risk personal failure.” This belief can lead to lower self-esteem, anxiety, depression and burnout.In the episode of Unboxing It, we talk about division of labour, how women are still responsible for most of the domestic labour (ugh), how men are also being pushed to always do more - and there’s a little bit about Indian food in there too for good measure.Links and resources related to this episode:Research article : Couples’ Perceptions of the Division of Household and Child Care Tasks: Are there Differences between Sociodemographic Groups?Episode 10: Education doesn’t always have to look the sameEpisode 4: Resting isn’t lazyMeet the Tiffin Lady Want more of Lara and Rowan?Rowan is available for speaking engagements, and Lara has coaching spots available.Transcript[00:00:00] Lara: Doing everything is exhausting, doing everything when you said burnout before, because stopped taking care of ourselves. We're just taking care of everything else and everyone else, and that's not really a happy life for most people. Hey, welcome to another episode of Unboxing It. I am Rowan.And I'm Lara.[00:00:43] Rowan: And we have got a really interesting topic, I think today. This, came off the wall in your office, right, Lara?[00:00:53] Lara: That's right. I've got a big list of topics that we've been collecting so that we can keep, having these weekly conversations that everybody gets to listen to.[00:01:02] Rowan: Yeah, my problem is that I will come up with one and if I don't text you about it right away, I forget about it, I completely just goes in one side of my brain and like out the other side of my brain. Is that, is that a thing? I think that's must be in one ear and out the other, but you know what I mean?[00:01:17] Lara: It works all the ways.[00:01:18] Rowan: So our topic this time is. When do we go from, you can do anything. You can be anything that you want to be. You can do anything you want to do to, you have to do everything and you have to be good at it.[00:01:39] Lara: And. You can do anything was new. I think when we were kids, like that wasn't a thing.Our parents and the generations before were even told you can do anything. They're like you, need to get a job and support your family and. Stop dreaming. Big life isn't like that. And then we started telling people they could do whatever they wanted, which I think in some ways was great. But also in some ways has led us down this path that we're gonna talk about with the need to do everything.[00:02:10] Rowan: Yeah, I think back in the day I love saying back in the day, and every time I say back in the day, I'm older than the last time I said it, which makes me so happy. we're Gen X. So like, you know, back in the, boomer years or back further, you know, you had people who were told, yeah, your purpose is you are going to grow up and you're going to help on the farm, and then you're going to take over that farm, for example.That was the case. In agriculture for a really long time. The expectation was you would probably do what your parents do, and in other situations it was you're going to do what your family expects of you. So it would be, you know, you're gonna go become a doctor, you're gonna go be a teacher, and then women were further limited.You're going to stay home and raise children, or you're going to get very limited schooling. And so this is why things really started to change over time when feminism became more prominent. Women especially we're then told You can be anything you want to be, but. I think the problem has been you can be anything you want to be, but you still have to be all those other things too.[00:03:19] Lara: Yeah. So now we opened up. Beyond teacher, nurse, and secretary.[00:03:26] Rowan: Yes. Teacher, nurse, secretary, mother is what women were allowed to do.[00:03:30] Lara: Yeah,[00:03:30] Rowan: that was pretty much it. Oh, phone operator sometimes that sort of secretary[00:03:34] Lara: There you go, phone operator.[00:03:35] Rowan: Yeah.[00:03:35] Lara: And so now you can be anything you wanna be, and if you think back to the way things used to be, but this is even before we experienced, I think it's like the men.Went to work. You wanna be a company man, right? Like the goal is to work somewhere till you get your gold watch. 'cause you spent 30, 40, 50 years working there and then you retire. And , the men, theoretically didn't need to worry much about how the home ran. And then women started.Going out and doing more things and getting more degrees and having the same kinds of jobs as men, and then who is gonna take care of the ...
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