What does it really mean to know when to push, when to pause, and when to let go? In this heartfelt conversation, Dr. Portia Preston returns to ADHD reWired to share insights from her book Hustle, Flow, or Let It Go? We talk about burnout, shame-free wellness, and the small practices that can help us create a more sustainable rhythm in life.

This episode weaves together stories of resilience and grief, the reality of living with ADHD and autism, and Portia’s SANE model (Slow down, Acknowledge, Navigate, Evaluate)—a simple framework to help you reset when overwhelm takes over. We also talk about support squads, the hidden cost of hustle culture, and what it means to choose rest without shame.

If you’ve been running on empty, carrying grief, or just wondering if there’s another way forward, this conversation is for you.

00:00 – Introduction: Shame Free Wellness and unlearning harmful beliefs
01:07 – Welcome to ADHD Rewired, host Eric Tivers introduces the show
01:31 – Eric shares personal news: loss of his father and recent illness
03:06 – Portia Preston joins: author, speaker, and executive coach
05:36 – Portia discusses the motivation behind her book and the concept of sustainable rhythm
07:54 – The SANE Cycle: a four-step process for self-reflection and growth
08:49 – Book launch experiences, balancing promotion, and authenticity
10:57 – Defining “hustle” and “flow” in the context of wellness
13:00 – Letting go: the challenge and importance of releasing what doesn’t serve you
15:21 – The SANE model explained: Slow down, Acknowledge, Navigate, Evaluate
17:06 – Portia’s favorite part of the book and audience reactions
17:52 – Break: Coaching and accountability group info
  - ADHD Rewired Coaching & Accountability Groups
  - ADHD Rewired Virtual Coworking Community
18:48 – Grief, burnout, and the importance of sitting with discomfort
22:00 – Building a support squad and the difference between solitude and isolation
25:00 – Neurodivergence, intersectionality, and Portia’s experience as a Black woman with ADHD and autism
29:00 – Audience feedback on the book and the importance of vulnerability
33:00 – Shame Free Wellness Manifesto (read aloud)
35:44 – The importance of rest, authenticity, and self-acceptance
39:00 – Context shifting, capacity vs. discipline, and self-compassion
  - Dr. Raquel Martin on Instagram: @drraquelmartin
43:00 – Teaching students about shame-free wellness and legacy
46:00 – Grief, community, and turning pain into purpose
49:00 – The value of showing up authentically and embracing imperfection
52:00 – Where to find Portia’s book and connect online
  - Book: “Hustle, Flow, or Let It Go: A Guide to Shame-Free Wellness”
   • PortiaPreston.com
   • Amazon Book Link
  - Instagram: @drportiapreston
54:00 – Closing thoughts: SANE model reminder and encouragement
56:00 – Outro: gratitude and next steps

People-pleasing isn’t a personality flaw—often it’s a nervous-system strategy. Licensed Professional Counselor and ADHD-CCSP Anita Sandoval joins Eric to unpack how the fawn response shows up with ADHD, trauma, and RSD; how it differs from masking and conflict avoidance; and what real change looks like. We cover Anita’s “Empower → Resilient → Authentic” model, ADHD-friendly EMDR adaptations, and the messy-but-worth-it work of boundaries (including with narcissistic family dynamics).
Resources, Anita’s links, and a quick survey about a potential evening coaching group are in the full notes at ADHDreWired.com.

Guest: Anita Sandoval, LPC-S, EMDR-Certified, ADHD-CCSP — therapist, supervisor, and author of Broken Chains (English & Spanish). Host of Empowering Women in Conversations and creator of Empower Her Pathways.

We cover:

• People-pleasing as a neuro-adaptive response (fight/flight/freeze/fawn)

• People-pleasing vs. conflict avoidance vs. masking

• ADHD & RSD: why “neutral” feedback stings and how regulation shifts it

• Differentiating from personality disorders (dependent/BPD)

• Hypervigilance, ACEs, and emotional regulation circuits

• Boundaries with narcissistic dynamics (including the “victim narcissist” pattern)

• Anita’s staged model (Stages of Change × grief work): Unaware → Aware → Ready → Action → Maintenance → Integration (Empowered → Resilient → Authentic)

• Therapies that help ADHD brains: EMDR with resourcing, IFS/parts work, polyvagal-informed regulation

• Eric’s EMDR story: from trigger spirals to co-regulation

Try this:
Notice your next automatic “yes.” Ask: Is this aligned with my values, or is my nervous system chasing safety? Then practice one tiny boundary this week and track before/during/after.

Resources mentioned:

• Anita Sandoval — anitasandoval.com (course: Empower Her Pathways)

• Broken Chains (English/Spanish)

• Dr. Ramani’s work on narcissism (Should I Stay or Should I Go?)

• Modalities: EMDR, IFS/Parts, Polyvagal-informed approaches

Coaching & community:

• Evening Coaching Group — interest survey
  We’re exploring a fall evening section (proposed Wed, Sept 18 • 5pm PT / 8pm ET) led by ADHD reWired Coach & LCSW Kristin Marts, at a budget-friendly rate (starting at $999) if we move forward. Deadline to weigh in: Aug 15. Take the short survey at www.coachingrewired.com.
  Complete the survey to enter to win 6 months free in our Alumni community ($240 value) or 1 year free of Adult Study Hall ($240 value).

• Adult Study Hall (ASH) — virtual co-working & body doubling. Free 1-week trial, then $19.99/mo or $150/yr at www.adultstudyhall.com.

Connect with Anita: www.anitasandoval.com | Podcast: Empowering Women in Conversations

What is OCD, really? It’s far more than the stereotypes of handwashing, tapping, or lining up your pens just right. On today’s episode, Eric is joined by Natalia Aíza — a therapist, parent, writer, and co-founder of Kairos Wellness Collective — who specializes in supporting individuals and families navigating OCD and anxiety. Together, they explore how OCD can show up in less obvious ways, especially for those with ADHD.

You’ll hear:

✅ Why OCD is often missed or misdiagnosed in ADHD brains
✅ How intense nostalgia, perfectionism, and social media checking can all be forms of OCD
✅ The difference between typical anxiety and OCD
✅ Why intrusive thoughts don’t define you
✅ How exposure response prevention (ERP) and medication can help
✅ Eric’s own reflections on healing unexpected layers through EMDR and discovering his autism

If you’ve ever felt stuck in mental loops, struggled with perfectionism, or wondered whether your patterns might be more than “just” ADHD, this episode is for you.

Learn more about Natalia Aiza and Kairos Wellness Collective:
👉 Instagram: @letstalk.ocd
👉 Kairos Wellness Collective: kairoswellnesscollective.com
👉 Email: natalia@kairoswellnesscollective.com

Ready to take the next step with your ADHD?
Don't miss our second 2nd chance Registration Event for the summer ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups on Thrusday, July 10. Visit coachingrewired.com to learn more and secure your spot.