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Question: My wife and I adopted a newborn baby almost 3 years ago, and we could not be happier. Now that he is getting a little older, he is talking and starting to understand things. My question is, how can we best normalize his adoption with him? I know it is better for kids to grow up with everyone being open with him and his adoption so it feels like now is a good time to start. But I am not sure how to that with an almost 3-year-old. For context, we do not have any contact with the birth family. We send updates and pictures to the agency, but they have not expressed interest in having contact with us. This always seemed like an avenue to start that conversation (you have a birth family and an adoptive family). Without that, I’m not sure how start talking to him about this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Resources:

• Talking with Kids About Adoption (Resource page)
• Talking with Kids About Birthparents (Suggested Books)
• Adoptee Voices (Resource page)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you looking for practical strategies to help your kids face the challenges of a scary world? Join us for a conversation with Melinda Wenner Moyer. She is an author, contributing editor at Scientific American, a regular contributor to The New York Times, and a former faculty member at New York University’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. Her new book is titled Hello, Cruel World: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times.

In this episode we discuss:

Why is raising kids in today’s world is so challenging and potentially terrifying for parents.

What are the fears kids are feeling in today’s culture?

What are some of the clues parents and caregivers should look for to tell us our kids might be struggling with fear or anxiety?

How does a parent or caregiver’s fear impact our ability to raise our kids in what feels like a terrifying world?

How do we balance protecting our kids from the world with equipping them to handle the hard things about today’s world?

• When and how do we start “lifting the shield”?

The book’s framework for raising kids in these challenging times includes these three pillars: coping mechanisms, connection techniques, and cultivation practices.

• Coping Mechanisms
  • How to manage anxiety and fear.
  • Self-regulation
  • Emotional literacy
  • Examples of coping strategies for one or two ages
• Connection Techniques
  • Parent-child attachment as a protective factor
  • Importance of being emotionally available and validating
  • Routines, rituals, and conversations that build trust
  • Examples of fun and playful connection techniques
• Cultivation Practices
  • How to practice optimism, gratitude, curiosity, and moral reasoning
  • Encouraging healthy risk-taking and autonomy
  • Examples for how we parents can model ethical and resilient behavior

What additional or special considerations for those of us raising kids impacted by trauma? How can we adapt some of these strategies?

Examples of how a parent’s approach should evolve as their child grows in age or ability by age/stage:

• Infants & Toddlers (0–3)
• Preschool (3–5)
• Elementary (6–11)
• Tweens & Teens (12–18)

Resources for Parents & Caregivers:

• Practical Tips to Help Your Kids Manage Stress
• Practical Ideas to Boost Your Child’s Social-Emotional Learning

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My 15-year-old foster daughter, “Anna”, is scheduled to move back in with her mom at the end of the school year. She is currently on my phone plan. I also pay for her access to Spotify, Netflix, and Hulu. Should I ask her mother now how she wants to transition Anna onto her phone plan? Do you recommend continuing to pay for a 3-6 month period until the mother figures it out? Should I just keep her on my account for Spotify, Netflix, and Hulu as long as it doesn't cost me anything extra? She also has some of her own furniture that doesn't fit in my car. Should Anna's mother be responsible for getting those pieces to their home? She is going to live almost 3 hours away.

Resources:

• Working with Birth Parent's for the Child's Best Interest
• Working as Part of the Foster Care Team
• Former Foster Care Youth Voices

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building