
DL (Downlow) Men: Beards, Survival, and the Right to Choose
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In a media landscape obsessed with spectacle, DL (down-low) men are often punchlines, predators, or shadows. But what if we stopped moralizing and started listening?
In this episode, Ross peels back the layers of DL discourse to explore the survival strategies behind the silence. Through the story of Adam, a bisexual man from Ghana denied asylum in the UK, and his own reflections growing up bisexual in Los Angeles, Ross examines how fear, safety, and structural oppression shape disclosure.
With sharp clarity and deep compassion, It exposes how bi+ men of color often become collateral damage in conversations not actually about them.
We map out common concerns, especially from women, around intimacy and betrayal, and invite everyone into a more honest, informed dialogue.
Whether you're DL, closeted, bi, pan, queer, questioning, or a witness to the growth and transformation of others navigating society, this episode honors your survival and your right to choose.
Adam's Story referenced in the episode
https://www.rainbowmigration.org.uk/stories/adams-story/