What is “normal,” and why does everyone want it so damn bad?

No, really. When did we start treating “normal” like the holy grail instead of the steaming pile of… well, I’ll let you fill in the blank.

On this episode of Different, Not Broken, I—Lauren Howard, your host, also known as L2—am pulling normal out of its gilded cage, shaking it around, and tossing it straight into the trash where it belongs.

If you’ve ever felt like you missed the memo on how to be “normal”… if you’re tired of feeling broken just because your flavors of weird don’t match up with someone else’s, this is the episode you didn’t know you needed.

I’m laying down the law (and maybe some four-letter words) about why chasing normal is a one-way ticket to nowhere—and why different isn’t just okay, it’s inevitable.

We’ll dig into the origin story of “normal” as a concept, how it creeps into our vocabularies starting in childhood, and why it’s a constant refrain for people going through autism and ADHD assessments.

(Plot twist: not fitting the mold isn’t a sign that you’re broken—it’s evidence that the mold is, frankly, garbage.)

But here’s where it gets interesting: even medicine doesn’t actually believe in a single flavor of normal!

And we'll get into that...

If that’s not a reason to click “play,” I don’t know what is.

Love you, mean it. –L2

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00:00 "What is Normal?"

03:09 Redefining 'Normal' in Childhood

06:37 Interpreting Lab Reference Ranges

10:32 "Comfy Sandals and Dog Dilemma"

15:55 "Embrace Your Own Normal"

17:29 Tense Meal and Nonsense Talk

20:27 "Questioning Nike Collection Value"

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People say things like "just be yourself" with the expectation that you’ll just snap your fingers and turn the volume down on generations of pressure to fit in.

But what does that even mean when your existence as 'yourself' stops conversations cold? When walking into every room means holding your breath, trying to shrink for comfort, or shapeshifting for someone else’s peace of mind? When you’re told your needs... your honest-to-goodness, human, biological and psychological needs... are either too much or entirely invisible?

This week, we’re going in. All the way in.

I sat down with Dr Carl Frizell, a phenomenal clinician, with his lived expertise in internal medicine, oncology, mental health and, yes, the absolute truth about thriving as a Black neurodivergent professional.

Carl joined me for a conversation about what it means to fight for belonging, to crave quality over quantity, to be different—and not broken—in every aspect of his life.

Want to talk intersectionality? Carl brings the receipts. Want to explore why so many Black and BIPOC kids are mis-labeled as “difficult” (or worse) instead of autistic? Or what happens when advocacy is weaponized against you?

Want to hear the story of a patient—"The Difficult One"—who was never the problem, but simply demanded her humanity be respected?

We’re covering all of it.

(And, yes, Carl really did become a better clinician because he lived every single word he now tells his patients.)

If you’ve ever questioned whether there’s space for your whole self, especially in systems built for someone else’s definition of acceptable—this is your episode.

Love you. Mean it.

Dr Carl Frizell's links:

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/cafrizell_pac/

00:00 Embracing Autism: My Turning Point

03:10 Neurodivergent Advocacy and Speaking Journey

08:01 Seeking Acceptance by Mimicry

12:55 Redefining "Normal" for Health

15:04 Clinical Judgment in Autism Diagnostics

19:20 Patient-Centered Caregiver Approach

23:10 Advocacy in Healthcare Matters

27:00 Supportive Parents Foster Success

29:30 Misdiagnosis Due to Cultural Bias

33:51 Humanizing Lived Experiences Validates Life

34:56 Embracing Whole Identity Acceptance

39:16 Embrace Self-Compassion and Growth

41:17 "Transparent Living on Instagram"

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Have you ever found yourself glancing around a room (or a Zoom meeting, or a group chat, or the chaos of your living room) and wondered, “Who put me in charge—don’t they know I still feel sixteen most days?” Yeah, me too.

In this episode of “Different, Not Broken,” I, Lauren Howard—L2 for the cool kids —am letting you in on the messiest, most liberating secret of adulthood: nobody, and I mean nobody, actually knows what they’re doing.

This isn’t some polished, performative encouragement to “fake it ‘til you make it.” I am talking about pulling back the curtain on why even the experts you look up to are mostly winging it.

I share my real experiences from the trenches—whether that’s running a telehealth company (where people call me for the right answer and I’m hunting for the adult in the room just like you), navigating ultra-complex compliance laws (with the help of attorneys who actually give me more “choose your own adventure” than clear answers), or trying to make sense of parenting a tiny human who bites (and I mean literally bites—this is not a metaphor).

So why should you listen? Because if you’ve ever felt the crushing weight of thinking you’re the only one improvising—newsflash, you aren’t.

I talk through the reality that none of us are actually the “adultier adult” we’re desperately searching for.

So, if you want to hear the truth about life behind the curtain—about what really happens when everyone is supposedly “adulting”—come hang out with me. We’ll laugh, we might cry, but we’ll definitely call B.S. on the myth of the perfectly composed grown-up.

And if you somehow find that mythical actual adult who has it all figured out, send them my way. Until then, I’ll be right here, fumbling forward, and inviting you to do the same.

Love you, mean it.

00:00 Unfiltered Expertise and Telehealth Insight

05:11 Imposter Syndrome Amid Experienced Peers

08:12 Indecision in Legal Consultations

12:40 Embracing Uncertainty and Growth

16:00 "Vacation with Kids: Not Restful"

16:46 "No Obligation to Perform"

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