In this powerful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer welcomes Helen Winslow Black, author of novel Seven Blackbirds. Together, they dive into the complex realities of abusive relationships, the subtle and overt dynamics that keep people trapped, and the healing journey that follows. The conversation spans the emotional impact on survivors, the nuanced effects on children, societal expectations, and the importance of reclaiming one’s voice. Helen’s perspective, paired with Pamela’s experience as a psychotherapist, creates an insightful discussion filled with empathy and practical wisdom.

Topics Covered

• The trajectory of abusive relationships and recognizing warning signs
• Emotional toll and obstacles to leaving an abuser
• The myth of “allowing” abuse and the culture of blame/shame
• Impact of domestic violence on children and the importance of honesty

Key Takeaways

• Abuse can be very subtle at the beginning; most abusers do not reveal themselves immediately.
• No one is ever responsible for healing their abuser’s trauma; self-care is paramount.
• Societal conditioning can trap survivors in cycles of blame and silence.
• Children, regardless of age, are deeply affected by the atmosphere of abuse—even if not directly witnessing it.
• Shame and guilt culture perpetuates silence and must be dismantled for genuine recovery.
• Speaking out and reclaiming one’s narrative is a transformative step in healing.

Six Best Quotes

1. “You are not there to heal the other person’s trauma. You have to take care. You have to take care of yourself.” – Helen Winslow Black
2. “An act of abuse is an affirmation that you are an object and you are a worthless object. And if you accept that, you’re giving away yourself.” – Helen Winslow Black
3. “Children pick up on more than you think… you have to say to children, ‘This happened, I’m sorry it happened, and it was not okay.’” – Helen Winslow Black
4. “Not your job to read someone else’s mind. Not their job to read yours. Don't assume, ask questions.” – Pamela Brewer

Connect with Helen Winslow Black

• Website: helenwinslowblack.com
• Facebook Author Page: Helen Winslow Black, Author

Resources List

• Seven Blackbirds by Helen Winslow Black (releasing September 23; pre-order on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, independentbookstore.org)
• Helen’s Website
• Independentbookstore.org
  
  

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